Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan (Character)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.

"Bones: The Parts in the Sum of the Whole (#5.16)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [First meeting] Are you a student here?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Special Agent Seely Booth from the FBI.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you believe in fate?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Absolutely not. Ludicrous.
[Jump to the present]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I still don't.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And I still do.

Zack Addy: You can take the clothing and leave now.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. You can take that femur and shove it...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Hodgins!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Perhaps the two of you could design an experiment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What? Whoa. No. Wait, work together?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Have you tried striking Zack in the soft tissue or in the liver?
Zack Addy: What?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, anatomy's really not my thing.
[Bones grabs the bat and hits Zack]
Zack Addy: Ow!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh ho ho! That one had some pepper!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, anthropologically speaking, paramilitaristic organizations tend to constrain individuality.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's for sure.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But in any group, no matter how restrictive, the free thinkers, the mavericks, the rebels with leadership qualities find a way to declare their distinctiveness.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'd ask you out if I could.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why can't you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well FBI rules again. No fratenizing with other agents, or consultants.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's too bad.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Glad you think so.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Uh, don't bother. You know, never remember Squints.
Caroline Julian: That's correct. And you know why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Caroline Julian: Because they get all wishy washy, and flip floppy on the witness stand. So it's better I *don't* remember the last time they let me down when I need 'em again.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after Bones hits Judge Haley] Is this very bad?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I have been wanting to do that for years. You are so hot!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Quietly] If we don't work together any more, we could have sex.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'll call a cab!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I just feel like um, this is going somewhere.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why did you feel this is going somewhere?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh I just... I feel like I want to kiss you.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You kissed?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There was tongue contact.
Dr. Lance Sweets: My book is crap!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We are not spending the night together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course we aren't. Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tequila.
[Bones enters the cab]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
[Booth runs to the cab]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hold - hold that cab. Hold that cab! Hey, so you afraid that when I look at you in the morning I'll have regrets?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That would never happen.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find that I'm annoyed with you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why, because I fired and hired you back? It's the Federal Government.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Because you got me drunk to fire me and then have sex with me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh no, I got myself drunk so I could fire you. And you decided not to have sex with me which I accepted, gracefully. So you regretting that decision?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I'm not. It was a very good decision. I stand by it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We're not in love with each other. It took a year after we kissed to be in the same room together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh absolutely right. No more kissing or anything.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the gambler. I believe in giving this a chance. Look, I want to give this a shot.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You mean us? No. The FBI won't let us work together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't do that! That is no reason.
[They kiss]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Crying] You - you thought you were protecting me. But you're the one who needs protecting.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Protection from what?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: From me. I don't have your kind of open heart.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I am not a gambler. I'm a scientist. I can't change. I don't know how... I don't know how.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can we still work together?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But I gotta move on. You know, I gotta find someone who's- who's going to love me in 30 years, or 40 or 50.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, excuse me, you know what, you really need to learn how to speak to human beings.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I speak 6 languages, two of which you've never even heard of.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You *will* be paid.
Angela Montenegro: I'm in. I'm saving to go back to Paris.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How much do you have saved up so far?
Angela Montenegro: Whatever you're gonna pay me for that... skull, facial, murder, barf making monstrosity.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even though my time and expertise are extremely valuable, I accept your decision to test my abilities. Obviously, I passed with a lot of color.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Pardon me?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It means I did very well.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, right. You, um... Flying colors. You passed with flying colors.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I know.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You called evidence crap. And she basically called you stupid.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We were feeling each other up. Like a honeymoon period.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Out. We were feeling each other out.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, your murder victim? Most likely struck with something made out of maple.
Zack Addy: Still an observation so vague as to approach meaninglessness.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is he *trying* to piss me off?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are always angry. I've been told you have an anger management problem.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm... in a program. I'm supposed to snap this every time I get angry.
[He snaps a rubber band around his wrist]
Zack Addy: I'd be happy to do that for you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can I come in and watch you broil the suspect?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I could broil. But, I think you mean grill.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is that? Is that a monkey?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. This is an Ardipithecus ramidus kadabba. The earliest known...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Abracadabra can wait.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, excuse me, you know what, you really need to learn how to speak to human beings.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I speak six languages, two of which you've never heard of.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? You're a cold fish.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're a superstitious moron.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Get a soul!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Get a brain!
FBI Forensics Tech: Agent Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan, Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] *I'm* Agent Booth.
[to the Tech]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?

"Bones: The Man in the SUV (#1.2)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: We'll find out who killed him, Booth. We've got Hamid's body. You can always count on the dead.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture; terrorizing people by using God to justify mass murder.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Trying to track down the doctor?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't need him. It's definitely a toxin, but we can't determine what kind.
Zack Addy: Too bad the liver is cooked. That could tell us everything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I need subtitles walking in here.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [discussing a corpse that was blown up in an SUV] I need surgical gloves and masks for the retrieval team, sterile medical bags and vegetable oil.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Vegetable oil?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The oil will loosen the seared body parts stuck to the metal. It's no different than steak on a grill that sticks.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was just studying a cranial fissure on a corporate attorney last week. Of course, he was dead.

Zack Addy: [of the beetles] You can't kill them. They have names.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We have to, Zack.
[grabs a handful and puts them in another jar]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Some.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In Thailand, they sautee them in peanut oil.

Angela Montenegro: Look I... I know you needed help out there... at the crime scene. And I wanted to... but...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's okay. You see it. I don't any more. I don't know what's worse.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why aren't we talking about you and your boyfriend?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't have a boyfriend.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just said that as though it's a good thing. And you know what? It's a very, *very* sad comment on your personal life.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Look, you're angry again.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [as they're approaching Ladjavardi] I thought you were told to stay away from him?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, and as an FBI agent, I cannot disobey my superior. But you're *not* an FBI agent.

Ali Ladjavardi: I'm calling Santana.
[turns around and walks away]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, I don't -
[get in front of Ladjavardi]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't think so.
Ali Ladjavardi: I'm warning you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I wouldn't threaten her if I were you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Look I just want to know where you were in June to see if you poisoned Hamid, and Farid.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Subtle.
Ali Ladjavardi: I'm leaving now!
[tries to push pass Bones. She grabs his arm and flips him. Bones puts her foot on his throat]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Told you. She doesn't like to be touched.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after ranting about the FBI] Someone here's really defensive about the FBI lately. You realize Booth is just another government stooge.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: This has nothing to do with Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives and clears his throat] I don't enjoy having squints on my team any more than you like me on yours. But you know, we're *supposed* to be working together, okay?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'd like to get this data to Booth as soon as I can.
DHS Agent Bennett Gibson: [blocks her path and tries to reach for her notes] I'll take it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. I don't think so. I work with *Booth*. That's my deal.
DHS Agent Bennett Gibson: Dr. Brennan, I have jurisdiction.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then why don't I destroy my notes, and let you guarantee the identity of the remains?
[walks past Gibson. Angela walks up to Gibson]
Angela Montenegro: It's best to just ride it out. Like an earthquake.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: She dyed her hair. She lost weight. You know? She shove a little Botox in the forehead. She's still feeling guilty over the last fight she had with her husband!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you are an insufferable arrogant... MAN!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, so only a woman could know a woman? I thought women wanted us to understand them.
Angela Montenegro: [moving closer to them] Not really a magician never *wants* to reveal her tricks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [turns to Angela] We're having a *private* conversation.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not here.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Angela tells them she talked to Booth's girlfriend] She's *spying* for you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. No!
Zack Addy: If you have nothing in common, it's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.
[Bones glares at Zack]
Zack Addy: And we hear it's been a while.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, stop.
Angela Montenegro: He is *there* for the taking, honey.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives] Okay I couldn't get his medical records.
[everyone stops and looks at Booth]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Nothing.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: We're going to have to run a simulation. I need you to input the skull and give me a face.
Angela Montenegro: You got it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [quietly] And no more talk about Booth. You shouldn't have gotten involved.
Angela Montenegro: That's what friends are for.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Please, Angela.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I told them to tell the Press it was an undercover operation.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: But it would be a Rose Garden Ceremony.... That's an honor, right?... I thought you FBI guys liked your medals.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No pleasure in taking someone's life.
[finishes his drink]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing to celebrate.

"Bones: Pilot (#1.1)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When the FBI gets stuck, we call in the squints.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Squints?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you squint at things.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you mean people with high IQ's and basic reasoning skill?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't call me Bones, and I do more than identify.

Dr. Daniel Goodman: Dr. Brennan, are you playing me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know I'm no good at that.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Hmmm. Thus far. But you have a disturbingly steep learning curve.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What are you trying to do?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Blackmail you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Blackmail a federal agent.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't like it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. You're in.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's it going to take?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.

Bennett Gibson: Most people in this situation, what they do is, they sweat it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Guatemala. Genocide. How are you scary after that?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You expect me, a federal agent, to declare war on a United States senator based on your little holographic crystal ball?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's not magic. It's a logical recreation of events based on evidence.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's... a cemetery.

[Booth and Bones are looking in a lake for a body]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What, exactly, am I supposed to be *squinting* at?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's like pornography - you'll know when you see it.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: FISH!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't call me Bones.

Angela Montenegro: [to the airport worker behind counter] Excuse me. Uh, you have a computer glitch at the arrivals board.
[man ignores Angela]
Angela Montenegro: Hello. Sir, excuse me. Yoo-hoo.
[man gestures for Angela to wait and continues to type]
Angela Montenegro: Great.
[Angela flashes him; he stops working]
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Hi. The flight from Guatemala.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [from behind] Tell me you tried "excuse me" first.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I find you very condescending
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Me? I'm condescending? I'm not the one who has to mention that she's got a doctorate every 5 minutes
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I am the one with the doctorate

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you want, to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Tell him where I'm going, ok?
[Brennan runs out]
Angela Montenegro: She didn't actually say where she was going, did she?

[repeated line]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I hate psychology.

"Bones: The Critic in the Cabernet (#4.24)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sperm.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Sweets] Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird?
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. Keep going.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Egg.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want a baby.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Horse.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. We can stop here.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I'm not asking for you to be involved. All I want is your sperm.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth realizes the Tech has heard Bones and starts to laugh] That's a good one. "All I want is your sperm." Never heard that joke before.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to the Tech] Yeah. Okay. All right. Just close your mouth and point us to the body, okay?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tibia. I've decided to have a baby.
[Everyone stares at her. Bones continues working]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Pichulum.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Wait. Baby like a small human?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I know I've had no interest in the past. Bu neither did you and you seem to find parenthood very fulfilling.

Angela Montenegro: You do know how this is supposed to work, right?... You get naked together, and you devour each other in a passionate frenzy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth would think that would create an emotional bond between us.
Angela Montenegro: ...Of course that's ridiculous.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I knew you would understand.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought these sessions were meant for you to see how we interact as partners. How does this relate?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're using Agent Booth to have a child. You don't see how that might relate to your partnership?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It has nothing to do with our work.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. Okay. Um. Let me just... organize my thoughts.

Angela Montenegro: Listen, you said you wanted to do this alone because feelings are ephemeral. So is life, Brennan. We're here one minute and then we're gone the next. You should know that better than anybody! If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever going to touch you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets said that it's not his job to tell somebody what they're feeling or how they should live their life.
Angela Montenegro: Lucky I'm not a shrink.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, what's going on?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I can't do it. Listen I have to be involved. If I'm the father then... I have to be a father.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not a neurologist, Booth, or a surgeon.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But you're a genius. That's good enough for me... Plus you'll know if they're screwing up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll ask.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, if I don't make it...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, you're going to be fine.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But if I'm not, I want you to have my stuff. You know, for a kid.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I want you to... You're going to be a really good mom.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're going to be fine, Booth. I'll be right here.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You really liked holding that kid didn't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah. I've been thinking about how exciting it would be to expose my own child to early pattern recognition.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know they like singing and uh, when you make funny faces at 'em too.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah of course. I-I will make a diverse schedule.

Angela Montenegro: Then why use Booth at all? Why don't you use Fisher... and his discount sperm?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, Booth has a bigger mandible and a more prominent zygomatic than Fisher, as well as a more pronounced ratio between the width of his clavicles and his ilia.
Angela Montenegro: So, it's because Booth is hot?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after Brennan says she wants a baby] Is there a father?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I'd like to use Booth's sperm.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Booth. What do you know?

Dr. Lance Sweets: The point of the exercise is not to explain, but to respond. Okay? Children can do this.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because it's childish.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Can we just try it, please?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [referring to the body] Looks like a purple Smurf.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Pelvic bone indicates a male.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Like a rubber, purple, Smurf.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, what is going on?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I can't do it. Listen, I have to be involved. If I'm the father then... I have to *be* a father.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You were seeing something in there, what were you seeing?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stewie. The baby from The Family Guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You saw Stewie in there, in the interrogation room?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you say, about the kid?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fine, I won't have a baby.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: "Fine." That's it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It doesn't matter now, we're going to the hospital.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's no big deal, okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it is. Booth, you thought you saw Luc Robitaille and then the ghost of a dead friend and now a cartoon baby. Trust me, something is wrong. Trust me.

"Bones: Mayhem on a Cross (#4.20)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Norway?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We don't have enough crucified of our own, now the Vikings are sending them?

Clark Edison: The annual murder rate in Norway is 0.7.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Less than one murder a year?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: In that case, they should solve the ones they have, or they'll never get any practice.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is definitely murder.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There are other possibilities.
Clark Edison: Uh, I have to admit none spring to mind.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: One possibility: drunken death obsessed satan worshipping drug abusing teens rob a grave and re-enact an ancient torture.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ah, just another Saturday night.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: [after Booth shoots some amplifiers] Yes, now if you recall, it was shooting at inanimate objects that had brought you to me for therapy in the first place.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I thought it was a justifiable shooting.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I agree.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She agrees. See?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Watching from his offioe and speaking to Bones with an earbud] Okay listen, Bones, you just tell him you don't care if he did it or not, you'll just throw his ass in jail.
[Bones scoffs]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's all right to lie during an interrogation, it's a technique.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The evidence is inconclusive regarding your guilt,
[rising up and starts yelling]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But I will damn well make sure it's conclusive!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Whoa. What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Atta girl, give it to him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I will perjure myself if I have to because you... make... me... sick, punk!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets... has scars on his back. Old one.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Really?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What kind of scars?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like he'd been whipped.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whipped?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I saw them.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: That explains his near obsession with your childhood trauma.

Dr. Lance Sweets: "Scars on the back?"
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I saw them, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: So... what? You just decided to share something from your past? That is so unlike you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I still hate psychology.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My foster parents locked me in the trunk of a car for 2 days when I broke a dish. I was a very clumsy child. They warned me it would happen, but the water was so hot and the soap was so slippery. I still don't think it was fair, even though they gave me fair warning. The water was so hot.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [of Sweets] So he imprinted on us like a baby duck?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where are we going?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Duck hunting.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not really, right?
[Booth quacks]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's black metal?
Clark Edison: I don't know. It's Norwegian. Whole different kind of black.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Gordon-Gordon is making cassoulet.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's stew. It's bean stew.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Cassoulet is better than regular stew.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just because it's French doesn't mean it's better.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Sounds better than stew.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: See? It sounds better.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's stew

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Show him he's not the only one with scars on his back.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But he is.
[Gordon-Gordon gives her a look]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Too literal?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after sharing her own metaphorical scars, to Booth] Okay. Your turn. Go.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I came here to bring Sweets back to my place for dinner, that's all.
[Brennan gives him a look]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, if it wasn't for my grandfather, I probably would've killed myself when I was a kid. That's all I'm going to say on the subject matter. Understand? Are you okay, Bones?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, I'm fine. Here.
[She folds up Booth's handkerchief and puts it in the front pocket of his suit over his heart, pressing her hand to it. She withdraws her hand and he presses his own hand to the handkerchief, holding his hand over his heart for a moment]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Sweets] Why are you nodding?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Nothing. Just... Wyatt made an observation about you two, and I think I just saw what he saw.

"Bones: The Man in the Morgue (#1.19)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Voodoo! Who's gonna believe that stuff?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's a religion, no crazier than... well, what are you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Catholic.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They believe in the same saints you do... in prayer... what they call spells, you call miracles... they have priests...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We don't make zombies.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Jesus rose from the dead in three days...
[Booth looks at her in shock. Brennan picks up her phone]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Brennan...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Jesus is not a zombie!

Angela Montenegro: Or better still, you could forget the whole thing and come home.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [over the phone] Don't worry. I made bail.
Zack Addy: Bail?
Angela Montenegro: Bail? For what?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I told you, don't worry. The murder charge won't stick.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Murder charge?
Angela Montenegro: Brennan? The next plane. The next plane, okay? Or I'm coming down there to get you myself.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything's fine. I'm healing up satisfactorily. Bye for now.
[hangs up]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Healing up?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to murderer who is trying to put a voodoo curse on her, so she pokes him in the eye to shut him up] I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How did I get away? Graham got killed, I got away. How did I do that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, Bones, all those things that Caroline mentioned - the martial arts, the shooting, the assaults - you're just the type of woman that fights. You know? Maybe they didn't expect it, maybe they thought some kind of magic could hold you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't believe in magic.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Exactly. You're a surprising woman, and that's sometimes enough to get away.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [smiling at Booth] Why are you nice to me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because. Because they think they get away with it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They burn their victim. They blow him up. They toss him in the ocean. They bury them in the desert. They throw 'em into wood chippers. Sometimes, you know, years go by. They relax. Then they start living their lives like they didn't do anything wrong. Like they didn't spend somebody else's life in order to get what they got. They think they're safe from retribution. You make those bastards unsafe. That's why I'm nice to you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I couldn't do that without you, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. So, um, you should be a little nicer to me, huh?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I really should.

[Booth and Brennan are looking for Dr. Legier at his house]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Graham! Graham?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [under his breath] Cracker!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, that's not funny.

[Brennan is on the phone with the squints in D.C. and Angela overhears Booth]
Angela Montenegro: Is that Booth?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes.
Angela Montenegro: You're hopping the streetcar named Desire with Booth?
[looks at Zack]
Angela Montenegro: Oh, I love this.

[Booth storms into the room where Brennan is being questioned without knocking]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you okay?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth, I told you not to come.
Detective Rose Harding: Who's this?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's... he's FBI. We're sort of partners.
Detective Rose Harding: A guy flies down from D.C., you're more than *sort of.*

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can I make a lifestyle suggestion?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Go ahead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, vacation - it's from the Latin 'vacatio' and means, you know, freedom and release - you might want to consider that next time
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Learning Latin?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: is the opposite of vacation. I mean, no wonder you snapped, went insane and totally lost your mind.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, thanks for your understanding.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth, objects have no intrinsic power. A person's future does not depend on some thing. Things are just things. They do not have magical meaning or powers.
[Booth reveals the missing earring]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Where'd you get that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What does it matter? It's just a thing. Right?
[Booth hands her the earring]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My mother's earring.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, uh... magical power over your future.
[Booth gets up and leaves]
Angela Montenegro: Does that prove something?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [looking at Earring] Yeah.
[looking after Booth]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It proves something.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: God, I'm hungry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, when was the last time you ate?
[Brennan rolls her eyes]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, my bad. You have amnesia.

Caroline Julian: I am doing you a favor taking this case, Booth. But as the lady cop says, I'm a prosecutor. And as it stands now, I could try this case in my PJs and still get a conviction.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, shouldn't you get to know your clients before you make snap judgments?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [warningly] Bones...
Caroline Julian: Fine. Stop me when I get something wrong. Trained in three types of martial arts, two assault charges, registered marksman with the NRA, hunting licenses in four states...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You hunt?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Only for food.
Caroline Julian: Shot an unarmed man.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He was trying to set me on fire.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, just... just arrange bail for us, Caroline, so we can get out of here.
Caroline Julian: Sure, sure. Don't want to get this one mad at me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [whispers] You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: That's because you've been inculcated by the mainstream culture's prevailing judeo-christian tradition into instinctive skepticism of alternative mores.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: We don't make zombies.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: But Jesus rose from the dead after three days.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Jesus is not a zombie, alright. Man, I shouldn't have to tell you that.

"Bones: The Baby in the Bough (#3.12)" (2008)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tax shelter? Exactly how loaded are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well *that* is an offensive way to phrase the question, but... quite loaded. I'm betting a seven figure advance for my next book.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Seven figures? Wow! Without the decimal point?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The publisher makes considerably more.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's the first of those seven figures?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A prime number. What do you do with your money?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Use it for food, rent.

Sheriff Delpy: Barely a scratch on the boy. It's a miracle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hardly, Car seats are specifically emgineered to protect the child.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From what? Flying out of the back of the car and landing in a tree?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh look at him, Bones. He looks a little fussy there. Why don't you pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants. You're the one with a son.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right. Fine. I'll take him. Here you go.
[hands the diaper bag to Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You have fun with the diaper bag. You look good.
[picking up the baby]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come here little man.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh no. He must've...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan, Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...swallowed it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [handing the baby to Bones] Okay here you go. Get used to him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What do you mean?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That key was evidence. You know how chain of custody works. The kid stays with us until we get the key back.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand. He's been fed, he's changed. I patted him. And now he's just complaining.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He's acting like a real kid.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No one filled a report, Booth. No one's worried about him.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well you are.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [pulling up to the victim's home] Front door is open, you stay here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, there's a *baby* involved. You hear gunfire, anything like that, drive away!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not leaving you!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes you will! Because this is about the *baby*, *not* me. Promise me!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause; Bones looks at the baby then at Booth] I promise.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: First the key, now jewelry! What's next? You gonna let him play with a bowling ball?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm *watching* him!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You have no idea what that place is like, Booth. Med students, under funded, under staffed.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: His mother is dead. His father is a felon. I've been in his situation, Booth. I'm *not* turning him over until I'm satisfied he is somewhere safe, where he'll get the care he deserves!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. He can stay with us... for now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think he's making the face again.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as he's changing the diaper] I'm serious, Bone. *Next* time, *you're* changing the diaper!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, I sent an intern who apparently loves bears, which, in reality, would devour a small child.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Andy] No, elephants are not purple. This is wrong.
[she goes through the diaper bag; as Booth returns, she turns back to Andy]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hey, look at that, he flipped over!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Phalanges! Phalanges! Dancing Phalanges!

"Bones: The Wannabe in the Weeds (#3.14)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How does a former sniper have a grass allergy? I mean wouldn't a sneeze give away your position?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, okay. I worked in the *desert*. Sand. No grass.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after Booth knocks on a door] Hey, break down the door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door.

Adam Matthews: Then about a month ago, she showed up in the middle of the night, and started banging on the door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, was she angry?
Adam Matthews: She was wearing a teddy, and high heels. So I'm thinking angry *wasn't* her emotion.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're implying she was sexually stimulated.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So were they um -?
[claps his hands]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know. Did they -?
[claps his hands]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did they have sexual intercourse?
Adam Matthews: If they did it was through a locked door.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So... no?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [clapping] Very good, Bones. Okay, let's go.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well this obsession with physical perfection clouds a society's vision. You are oogling that woman!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? No! I'm not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, you are!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm just, um, admiring her routine.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You have an irrational prejudice against psychology. Probably because of some emotions so complicated for you to deal with.
[starts playfully poking Bones]
Dr. Lance Sweets: And I poked and prodded them which makes them real and painful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And yet I feel no pain. Just a sort of disinterest. So why don't you take your powers of observation and focus them on her?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So do you think she killed him?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well
[exhales]
Dr. Lance Sweets: there's no question she's deluded. She truly *believes* he was going to marry her. And she was setting herself up for a tragic ending.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tragic?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well one way to ensure he didn't leave her...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would be to kill him.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Who's Kelly Clarkson?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: American Idol. "Because of You."
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because of *me*?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never mind. Okay, just stay here. Not up there.
[points to the stage]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You enjoy it because you're a superb agent.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You think?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course, since I'm the best in my field. It would be self-destructive for me to work with some who was beneath me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, that's good, because I have to be honest, here. Sometimes I think you feel you're better than me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well objectively, I'm more intelligent-.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: See? There you go!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In certain areas. And in others, I understand my limitations, and I admire your expertise.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Until I was 13, I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'd say you were kidding. But I don't think you know how to kid.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The guitar string could definitely be the murder weapon.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because it cut the cheese?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because the exemplar wound approximates the tool marks on the victim's C5.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, he knew. He just wanted to say "cut the cheese."

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hodgins. You are the guitar player. Zack, you are Tommy.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Re-enactment. Facinating.
Dr. Zack Addy: Not for me. I'm always the one that gets killed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Dude, you're the singer. Singer was the vic.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can't just bust into song. I have to have music. And an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Diva! Forensic genius. Best selling author. Better that Cyndi Lauper?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Sweets is trying to convince Bones to get up and sing] Really? What about you?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Hey, I will be singing "Lime in the Coconut" after you, and you will be extremely impressed... as was my abnormal psychology class in college. This opportunity is a gift from.... Agent Booth. Trust yourself, trust your friends, and let 'er rip!

"Bones: The Girl with the Curl (#2.7)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Trying to idenify a person who has one leg that is longer than the other - thus tilting her hips] Try and get a shot of her buttocks, and freeze it.

Angela Montenegro: Childhood should be all about swings.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Swings?
Angela Montenegro: You know how high can I go, if I twist the chains how fast will I spin.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Or if I try and jump off before the swing stops.
Angela Montenegro: Exactly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I miss that feeling.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah me too.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class, those were good times.
Zack Addy: I miss my first microscope.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Great, yeah and I miss normal people can we go on?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why don't you go mingle.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because you're a girl

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ok, c'mon Bones up you go.
Girl: Wow, you have huge muscles!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks,
[leans toward Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Learn anything?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, I learned about cankles, how about you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I found a possible suspect.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [as Angela is doing a sketch on the computer] Factor in the teeth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, you know, because this isn't weird enough.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Ms Swanson, I discovered dental work on Brianna one doesn't usually see on a child.
Jackie Swanson: The veneers and the caps? Yeah. A lot of the girls have them.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Statistically, that's-that's not true.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: People have done much worse for beauty - neck stretching, foot binding...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, you're saying that makes it ok?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, of course not. Any major alteration of our underlying architecture demeans us.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: When she won, it reflected well on you. That way you wouldn't have to deal with your own physical identity
Jackie Swanson: I don't like her.

Jackie Swanson: [after describing an argument she had with her daughter over a piano piece] But it seems very silly now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Only now?

Angela Montenegro: Hodgins asked me out.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that why you're hiding in here?
Angela Montenegro: I'm not hiding. I need advice.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? on a personal matter?
Angela Montenegro: Yes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: From me?
Angela Montenegro: Yes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But romance is sort of- This is like me asking you advice on phylogenetic systematics.
Angela Montenegro: Phylogenetic systematics. I have no idea what that is.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Exactly.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You should never engage in a romantic relationship with someone you work with.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why not?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, anthropologically?
Angela Montenegro: There's an anthropological answer?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If I were you, I'd go with Cam on this one.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why?
Angela Montenegro: Phylogenetic systematics.

"Bones: A Boy in a Tree (#1.3)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [flashes his badge] FBI Special Agent Seely Booth and a forensic anthropologist.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian Institute.
Zack Addy: Plus one crack assistant.

Mickey Santana: In order for an investigation to occur, you, Dr. Brennan, have to declare it a murder.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Without an investigation, we can't find out if it's a murder, but there'll be no investigation unless Dr. Brennan declares it to be a murder.
[to Brennan]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Shall I send for a philosopher?
Mickey Santana: Look, you're very experienced within your field, on bones and such, right? Doesn't your gut say "suicide"?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't actually use my gut for that, sir.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She really, really doesn't.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Like all of us at the Jeffersonian, Dr. Brennan prefers science to the digestive tract.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: The sign says Wong Fu's.
Sid Shapiro: Family name change at Ellis Island.

Sheriff Roach: Agent Booth, if you decide this is a suicide, it becomes my problem, correct?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Actually, the person who decides if this was a suicide is me.
Sheriff Roach: Let's give the bone lady some room.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [reading the school sign aloud] Omnia Mea Mecum Porto. What does that mean: regular people stay out?
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Zack Addy: I carry with me all my things.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've been thinking about your whole "something stinks" aptitude.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh yeah?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I think you have a subconscious knack for reading body language. Stress in the voice, other subtle yet discernible indicators. It's not mysterious, but it is impressive, and in the future...
[deep breath]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: ...I will try to accord it an appropriate degree of objective worth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you, Temperance. I appreciate that. So, uh, what part of "this is mine" did you not understand? Have to say it in Latin?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [gets up slowly, smiling slightly, and hands him the access pass he wanted while saying] Absit invidia.
["Let ill will be absent", i.e. "No offense"]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You were right about the school, serving pudding.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stirring the pudding...

Headmaster: Given your hostility, it's time we bring in a lawyer to advise us.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Or you take my advice. If you don't answer my questions, I'll take you down to FBI headquarters in handcuffs.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He'll do it. He doesn't like you.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [after catching the head that fell from the tree] I am going to need an evidence bag.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Heads up!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [the body falls from the tree] I am going to need a bigger bag.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ambassador Olivos, you told me that all a mother wants is to know that she's raised her child well, that your biggest regret is that you'll never know if Nester would've grown up to be a good man. But he was a good man. He died because he was trying to do the right thing.

Headmaster Ronson: How is that relevant?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know what's a better question? What makes you think you get to decide what's relevant? You're basically the pricipal of a high school.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We need to see all of the sex tapes you confiscated.
Headmaster Ronson: Absolutely not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I'll just get a warrant. And in the application for the warrant I'll include your admission that you allow your students to swap homemade sex tapes.
Leo Sanders: The headmaster isn't refusing to provide you with the tapes.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: "Absolutely not" sounds like a refusal.
Leo Sanders: When we confiscate the tapes, we immediately turn them over to loacl law enforcement.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sherrif Roach knew about this?
Leo Sanders: No need to issue a warrant. We're cooperating completely.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Was the girl also a student here?
Headmaster Ronson: Given your hostility, it's time we bring in a lawyer to advise us.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Or you take my advice. If you don't answer my questions, I'll take you down to FBI headquarters in handcuffs.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He'll do it. He doesn't like you.
[Booth shakes his head]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, I'd like to declare it a murder just to shake those little...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm not gonna declare it a murder just so you can shake things up.

"Bones: The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken (#5.6)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Now you're just delving into pure science fiction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Like a flatworm that's not science fiction. Or half-chicken that's not considered science fiction.

Josh Parsons: Please I didn't kill anyone. I'm an extreme pacifist.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's an oxymoron. You're either extreme, or pacifist. You can't be both.

Angela Montenegro: How are we friends? H-how is it possible? I mean we have nothing in common.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? You don't want to be friends any more because the pig is cute?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly] Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there's something wrong with you. Something's wrong, right? What can I do to help?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela and I had a fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Loudly] Nothing I can do to help!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want to hear about it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then you know, the two of them are going to make up and then they're going to get mad at me. So no thank you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I would kill for you. But I am *not* getting between two best friends.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth grabs Bones's hand as she's leaving] Whoa. Whoa. Listen Bones, everything's going to be okay between you and Angela. All right? You two are like sisters.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm just... not used to not getting along with people.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Seriously? Because it seems like -
[the table thumps]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thanks Booth.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan... Sometimes you just make your friends happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even when it's irrational?
[Looking at Angela's pig photo]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He is very... very cute. I mean it's almost like he's smiling.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You noticed something. See? You still got it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're not going to ask me what I saw?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do I want to know?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No... Do you want to know anyway?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I can wait... I trust you.

Angela Montenegro: [Looking through a DARPA file] There's no photograph in here.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: DARPA doesn't give out any photos. You give me the reconstruction though, I can show them that and they can tell us if we got their guy. So... what do you have?
Angela Montenegro: [She exchanges a look with Brennan] Okay. Before you... freak out, you should know that I double and triple checked the measurements and indicators.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Insulted] Okay, I don't freak out.
[Looking at Brennan, softly]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do I freak out?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Some- sometimes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can we just see the images please?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: DARPA created a chicken soldier?
Wendell Bray: I do not see the United States military making chicken soldiers. Eagle, maybe.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's why we couldn't find his so-called fingers. Cuz they were transformed into talons.
[Makes claw like motions with his hands]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I mean, talons would be much better weapons.
[Wendell makes talon like gestures with his hands]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Human remains in water tend to lose all their fingers and toes due to predation.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If I were going to combine animal and human DNA with an eye toward creating a super soldier, I'd go with a flatworm.
Wendell Bray: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Self regeneration. Obviously.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Let's break this down as though we aren't in a comic book.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Is Angela good or is she good?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Those are the same question.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You wanna see the fastest draw in the West?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.
[He doesn't move]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Smiling] You wanna see it again?

"Bones: The Skull in the Sculpture (#4.7)" (2008)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Dr. Sweets tells Daisy that she is fired, they decide to come out with their relationship and begin making out on the forensic platform] That's a method of termination I've never tried. But bravo, Dr. Sweets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. They'll never work. They're like complete opposites.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I agree. For all her faults she's a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. You know, there's no common ground.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You need common ground. What else is there?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Absolutely.
[Then Bones and Booth look intently towards each other]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you're relying on superstition for safety perhaps I should carry the gun.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. You are definitely *not* carrying the gun!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as Booth is picking a lock] Look, if anybody asks, the door was open.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it isn't.
[Booth turns and looks at her]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Ahh right.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was going to say that I had an accident over here, but I don't like lying.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You dumped a bucket full of domestic beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Within 30 hours... Am I fired?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Au contraire. Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, now what we want to do here is remove the skull very carefully.
[Daisy reaches for the skull]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Carefully.
[Daisy accidentally crushes the skull]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...I can't believe you did that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Bummer.
Daisy Wick: Usually when you say "we" you mean me! I'm so sorry. I'll put it together. I will stay up all night!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll do it.
Daisy Wick: Well I will assist you every step of the way. I will never leave your side!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I would prefer to do it alone.

Angela Montenegro: I honestly didn't think it would be murder.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Which makes your conclusion all the more credible.
Angela Montenegro: Only you would find that comforting.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's going on?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sweets is firing Daisy for us.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We're wondering what his method will be.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He'll explain to her logically that this environment is not conducive for either her or us and, as a scientist, she'll realize that he's right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, Sweets is a lot sneakier than that. He'll use some kind of psychological Jedi mind trick to make her think it was her idea to quit.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like first?
Daisy Wick: The bad first.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're toast here. Nobody wants to work with you.
Daisy Wick: Why?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You know why, Daisy. There are some things that you have to work on when it comes to interpersonal relations.
Daisy Wick: Does anybody like me?
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, I'm afraid not.
Daisy Wick: What's the good news?
Dr. Lance Sweets: There's absolutely no reason for us to be discreet about our relationship anymore.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. You wanna explain this to me?
Roxie Lyon: Uh. Recently, Geoffrey's been talking about finding a way to make himself a part of the art.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you mean literally?
Helen Bridenbecker: [Reverently] The ultimate artistic act.
Roxie Lyon: Geoffrey was depressed, and he said he felt like he'd reached his limit as an artist.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We'd like to show you a picture of the remains only if you're up for it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Pointing to a photo] I suggest you don't look at the person, but rather this distinct ring.
Helen Bridenbecker: That's Geoffrey.
Roxie Lyon: I know that ring. I designed it myself. It's Geoffrey.
Helen Bridenbecker: [Softly] Bravo, Geoffrey.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are an extremely unlikable woman.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: How long have you and Thorne hated each other?
Anton Deluca: You can write down since before the Big Bang.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, no, there was no before before the Big Bang. Because time didn't exist. If there are no organizing properties...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, I'm just gonna write down it's been awhile.

Angela Montenegro: Yes. Roxy is gay. At least she was when we were together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: In school?
Angela Montenegro: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, you heard rumors.
Angela Montenegro: No, I have firsthand knowledge.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, you walked in on her. That's awkward.
Angela Montenegro: No. We were together. For over a year.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow! You and, uh, Roxy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You have a problem with that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. I was just processing the information there. That's all. And, in doing so, I was... envisioning you and her, you know, together and, uh... Well not both together... but... Really?

Caroline Julian: Okay, I got the injunction removed. You are free to crack open the car and remove the remains.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks, Caroline. You are da bomb.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why is *she* the bomb?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. *Da* bomb.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand. And I am not used to not understanding.

"Bones: The Blonde in the Game (#2.4)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Run her through the database, get an ID.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why don't you just ask him?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well because the last time Bones saw Epps, it got violent.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You'll be there to protect her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She's not the one who needs protecting. Bones broke his wrist
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [flashback to when Bones broke Epps's wrist] He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Better not take Dr. Brennan.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I got something for you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A bottle of hard liquor?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Next best thing.
[Booth takes a small pig figurine out of his pocket, puts it in the palm of his hand, and moves very close to Brennan]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Meet Jasper.
[Both smiling, Brennan takes Jasper from Booth's hand and looks at it]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're gonna be okay.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [looks at Booth, with tears in her eyes] Yeah?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You said you've dealt with manipulative men before.
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, this is a psycho killer, not some loser who wants you to co-sign a loan for his jet-ski.

Howard Epps: Caroline's the best I could do in here.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, not your usual type, Howie. I mean, not young, not blonde.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Not dead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, could you please shut up?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [getting offended] Excuse me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Epps] Is this why you duct-tape their mouths? Because *that* I understand.
Howard Epps: [leans forward slight pause] That's the lamest attempt at bonding I've ever seen.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: For all your faults, Mr. Epps, you were never interested in letting your victims suffer. You didn't torture them. You're not that kind of man. She's an innocent child.
Howard Epps: She's a young woman. And there's no such thing as an innocent woman. Look within yourself, you know I'm right.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Entering the suspect's house and finding a dog they encountered earlier] Oh great! Him again. I'll need a pinecone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [advancing on the dog] Listen dog, I will shoot you in the head if you don't cut it out right now!
[dog stops barking]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know you're afraid that Epps turn you into him- into a killer. You have to come to grips the fact that you killed another human being. Because when you kill someone, you know, there's a cost. It's a steep cost. I know... I've done it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I did the right thing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know. I was there.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are you on some kind of medication?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Caroline Epps: Dr. Brennan, I'm not one of those crazy women who falls in love with death row killers.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Obviously, that's exactly what you are.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You ever have a dog, Bones?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I always wanted a pig.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: A pig?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Very smart. And despite the popular misconception, very clean.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I prefer my pig with a little mint, a little honey glaze...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Not funny.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, if you had a pet pig, what would you name him?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Jasper.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [referring to why she broke Howard Epps' wrist] He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.

"Bones: The Rocker in the Rinse Cycle (#5.19)" (2010)

Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm impressed.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you've known me for two years, Sweets. You should be used to being impressed by me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, no, no, no! We are *not* going to be discussing your daughter's sex life. Because A: she's a good girl. She doesn't have sex. And B: you're touching a dead body.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't follow your logic.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm always touching a dead body, Seely.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, can somebody just please remove the eyeball.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Picks up the object] This is not an eyeball.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is it?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'll put it this way, our victim was male.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would you rather us going back to talking about lady parts?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But it does appear that our victim was in the habit of injuring himself annually in a variety of risky behaviors.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So a guy with one gonad had balls.

Erik Dalton: Hey, what are you doing baby? Can I help you with something?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You have no expertise that would be of value to me.
Erik Dalton: I wouldn't be so sure. Why don't you come sit next to me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me. I really like your music, doesn't mean I'm not going to clock you, all right? Let's focus.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You hear that? That is our song. Remember? "Hot Blooded."
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Last time we sang that song, Booth. Someone tried to kill you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, but it was fun up until the blast, right? Come on!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: All we know is he was killed with his guitar.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sweets groans] With a '57 Gibson Les Paul? That's like whacking someone with the Mona Lisa.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Our partnership is still important to me. You know that right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure. Yeah. Die for your partner. That's the way I look at it.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, everything you've learned about the victim, uh... indicates that he was only interested in the external signifiers of the rock and roll lifestyle. Correct?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. The clothes, the instruments, the groupers.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Groupies, Bones.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're a very good singer.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you, Bones. You play guitar in a very interesting fashion.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I liked Andrew's taste in music, except for a band called Led Zeppelin.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [offended] "Except for a band called Led Zeppelin"?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wh-... You kidding me? Led Zeppelin is, like, the best rock and roll band ever. I mean, they had a reunion tour in '07 in London. I would have *killed* for those tickets!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Really? My publisher offered me tickets, but when I heard "zeppelin", I thought it was for some sort of air show.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Air show? You turned down what probably was the last concert that Zeppelin would ever play?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you going to kill me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're unbelievable!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, it's just a band, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not just a band, okay? This is *Led Zeppelin*. You know what? I am your partner. You offer your partner those kind of things.

"Bones: The Con Man in the Meth Lab (#4.8)" (2008)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nice hat, huh. Come on, I'll take you back to the lab.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened with your RECO bust?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Looks at her] Nothing. Why?
[laughs shortly]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Have you been talking to Cam?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Did you do something wrong?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Defensively] "What do you mean?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well you didn't get the credit you deserved. What did you do?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Life is not always about credit.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, that's not what you said before. You said life was all about credit and that you were going to Hawaii and they were going to put you on a coin...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, let's just forget about, ok Bones? Forget about it.
[Walks away]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Jared warned me that you tend to sabotage yourself.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Sarcastically] *Jared* said that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Mm-hmm. He said that you're afraid of success.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Angry] Hm. So basically, I'm a loser.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, he never said the word loser.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Walks up to her] Do you think I'm a loser? Like that guy in there? Some clown in some dumbass uniform who basically can't do anything better? Is *that* what you think?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, anthropologically, males tend to rank themselves into a hierarchy. There is no shame in not being at the top of the hierarchy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Furious] You're not answering the question, Bones. Answer *my* question.
[They stare at each other. Phone rings after a tense silence. He doesn't take his eyes off her and picks up his phone]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Booth.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [after Angela meets Jared Booth] Are you thinking of leaving lesbianism behind?
Angela Montenegro: I prefer not to be labelled, okay?

Jared Booth: So who else have you got for me Seely?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What am I? Your pimp?
Jared Booth: Don't think I'm not appreciative.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well Clark's got everything under control, so I can go.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Jared Booth: Really?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Huh?
Jared Booth: Why, thank you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] No.
Jared Booth: Wha - uh - wait, this is Bones, right? Not some ugly FBI woman with a mustache.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't have a mustache, Jared.

Jared Booth: Maybe that's what made him a good sniper. He doesn't like to be visible above the ridgeline. So he keeps his head low. Instinct. Me, on the other hand, I cannot help but run that ridge.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can you give me an example?
[Jared leans in and kisses Bones]
Jared Booth: I bet you Seely never took that risk.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Nope.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Can I offer you a little insight into Booth's little brother?
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh God, why am I always standing in precisely the wrong place?
[Clark starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I didn't have sex with him, Cam.
Angela Montenegro: [Angela enters] Didn't have sex with who?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Jared Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Good.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Good? Why good?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because... because...
Angela Montenegro: Because he's Booth's little brother. And it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the *real* Booth.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Kudos Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.

Angela Montenegro: Jared is Booth lite. Booth is the real Booth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if Booth is Booth lite.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you think I'm a loser? Like that guy in there, some clown in some dumbass uniform who basically can't do any better. Is that what you think?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well anthropologically, males tend to rank themselves into a hierarchy. There's no shame in not being at the top of the hierarchy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're not answering the question Bones. Answer my question!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Jared] You took advantage of him. You know, you made me think that he's a loser! And what *really* makes me angry, is that I believed you! You know, I wouldn't blame Booth if he never spoke to me again. You're the loser!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't wanna talk about my brother.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Would you prefer Sweets do it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm listening.

Jared Booth: Camille ?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Jarhead! It's really you.
Jared Booth: Jarheads are Marines. I'm a lieutenant commander in the Navy. Not an acceptable mistake.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: He's getting so big. Soon he'll be wanting a later curfew and a car of his own.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Jared, this here is my partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan. That back there is a squint. Bones, this is my little brother.
Jared Booth: Bones ?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Dr. Brennan.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It is nice to meet you, Jarhead. I can see the family resemblance. Your facial structure is even more symmetrical than Booth's.
Jared Booth: Is she coming on to me ?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. It's just the way she talks.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Any idea how the body got in there?
State Police Instructor: I guess anybody could have done it any time in the last three days.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Male. 45 to 50 years old. Do we know where the rest of the remains are?
State Police Instructor: [Indicating all around them] Yes. One leg is over there. The other's over there. And the arm is over there. Did I kill this man?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No.
State Police Instructor: [sighing with relief] Okay.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: This man was shot in the chest.
State Police Instructor: [to Booth, shaken] Would you be at all upset if I had a little cry?

"Bones: Harbingers in a Fountain (#5.1)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Avalon Harmonia] Well, they gave me medication. So I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel, all the time.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What did you want to tell me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That I love you... In a professional, 'atta girl' kind of way.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: 'Atta girl' kind of way? Right back at'cha Booth. I love you too. 'Atta Boy.'

Avalon Harmonia: The riddle you can't solve is how... somebody could love you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I'm, beautiful and very intelligent.
Avalon Harmonia: The answer to the question that you're afraid to say out loud is... yes. He knows the truth of you, and he is dazzled by that truth.

Avalon Harmonia: The man whose life you saved is really excited to see you again.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't save lives. People are already dead when I get to them.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: OH, I'm happy personally and professionally. You know unsolved murders have gone up a thousand percent since you left.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find that hard to believe.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Rough estimate. Welcome back!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes! We're back.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're the one who told me never to look happy at a crime scene.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. We'll look happy after we find out who did this horrible crime and get them behind bars.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Right.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sorry, Ang. You know it's... my first case back. You know it's been a long day. Maybe I got something to prove. Sorry, you look - you look beautiful.
[Angela chuckles and kisses him on the forehead]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh. Woul dyou like *me* to kiss you on the forehead too?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure.
[Bones chuckles and walks away]

Avalon Harmonia: The world scares you. So you wrap it up neatly in bonds of reason, education and proof. All riddles are solvable to you, except for one.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. The riddle of how you knew where your sister was buried.
Avalon Harmonia: No, the riddle you can't solve is how somebody can love you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Chuckles] Well I'm beautiful and very intelligent.
Avalon Harmonia: The answer to the question that you're afraid to say out loud is: yes. He knows the truth about you. And he is dazzled by that truth.

Caroline Julian: That was sneaky.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is sneaky good or bad?
Caroline Julian: Good. If it holds up in the court.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Next time, make it look like you're taking advantage of the situation, not scripting it.

Avalon Harmonia: The card say only your top layer is rational Underneath, you're as *crazy* as I am.
[Avalon laughs]
Avalon Harmonia: And that's a compliment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Doesn't sound like one.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Brennan has been stabbed; a knife is sticking from her arm and is bleeding profusely] Bones! Bones, you alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, your arm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh God...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, don't pull it out, don't touch it.
[she pulls the knife out]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones... easy, I got you. I got you, it's okay. It's alright.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He tried to kill me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Alright.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, easy. Ambulance is on its way, okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Gotta keep the pressure on the wound...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I got it. I got it, just relax. Just trust me, alright? I'll take care of you. Ssshhh, I got you. Breathe. I'll take care of you. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I got you. I got you, baby.

"Bones: The Verdict in the Story (#3.13)" (2008)

Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan everyone you work with, including your therapist...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: *Former* therapist.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Is endevoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. *Yes*, it does.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm fine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: If you were fine, you'd be balled up in a corner, weeping or semi-catatonic.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [turning to Booth] Does that sound fine to you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sorry, Bones, but I'm going to have to agree with Sweets on this one.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I think it's important for you to know that *we* know that the colder more objective you appear on the outside, the more pain you feel on the inside.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm fine!
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, you're not!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I didn't see Angela today.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Angela refuses to testify.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Probably because she's your best friend.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you're my friend. And you don't mind.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mind! We *all* mind. Except for Zack.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, in that case, Zack is the only one thinking clearly. I had to give Hodgins permission. I don't know what's wrong with everyone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not what's wrong, Bones. It's what's *right*!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [rising up] Oh and remember. I'm the one... who gave you this
[pouring out his coffee]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: delicious coffee.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because I'm the first prosecution witness against your father.
[enters the court room]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [as Angela's being escorted to prison for refusing to testify. Bones rises up] Angela please!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sit down!
Angela Montenegro: [Angela stops] Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know *I'm* right, and everyone else is *confused*!

Angela Montenegro: Friends don't send friends' fathers to the electric chair.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Maryland uses lethal injection.
Angela Montenegro: Well the principle still holds.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I just think he doesn't want to admit that he likes us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you like us?
Dr. Lance Sweets: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And he wants to spend time with us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that true, Sweets? You like us?
Special Agent Seeley Booth, Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [singing] He really likes us.
Dr. Lance Sweets: All right, you know what? I'm sorry I made the offer. I take it back. Forget it!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, you're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined, temporarily.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [scoffs] I still don't know what that means.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, just take the brain. Okay? And put it in neutral. Take the heart, and put it in overdrive.
[makes motor sounds]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sometimes I think you're from another planet.
[smiles]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sometimes I think you're nice

Russ Brennan: You should have... you know, you should have run, Dad! You should have taken off!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dad stayed for me. He knew that if he ran, we'd never see each other again.
[turning to Max]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You stayed for me.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [examining a skeleton that is curled in a circular shape] How could this happen?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Umm, maybe he was rolled up in a carpet?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where's the carpet?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it rotted away. You know, with the... meaty parts.
[Bones starts laughing]
AUSA Caroline Julian: [entering] Excuse me? What is so funny?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [forcing back her laughter] Nothing.
AUSA Caroline Julian: I should hope not, because there's a dead body deserving our respect right in front of you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Brennan can't contain herself any longer and bursts out laughing]
AUSA Caroline Julian: I did not know she could laugh.

"Bones: The Killer in the Concrete (#2.18)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to the Phone] Yes. This is Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian. I just received a call from Agent Booth that he's being held at
[motions to Angela for some papers]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: the Purdue Airfield in Oakville, Virginia. Send back up. I'm going in.
[hangs up the receiver]
Angela Montenegro: You just lied your ass off to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
[Bones ignores the comment and leaves]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That is so hot.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Have you turned Russ into a criminal, too?
Max Keenan: Hey, I haven't committed a crime in over fifteen years. I'm straight.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Except for killing, gutting and burning the Deputy Director of the F.B.I.
Max Keenan: He was trying to kill Russ, and then he was going after you. It is not a crime to protect your family.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, some fathers do it without killing.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Thank you.
Tim: You're welcome. Your dad's a psycho by the way.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You have no idea.
Tim: Bye.

Angela Montenegro: What can't you tell me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: By definition, I can't tell you.

Angela Montenegro: All right, you're after a crazy old ice-pick hit man who has Booth. You need help. Look at my face. Do you *really* see me backing down?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I - I already have help, Ange.
Angela Montenegro: From whom?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: From someone worse than Kennedy.
Angela Montenegro: Are you serious?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't say it!
Angela Montenegro: Your father is helping you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I have to go.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth is being held by Melvin Gallagher.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: That's a leap. How do you know?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can we just go with this please?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Of course not.
Angela Montenegro: Obviously, Brennan found out from her father who is a wanted fugitive.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ange!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Now that I can go with.

Max Keenan: [to Bones] I need your car.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [lying on the ground still immobilized] Max Kennan, you're under arrest.
Max Keenan: Not if I get the keys.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They're in the ignition.
[Max kisses Bones on the forehead and leaves]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wha?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, it's not like I actually *gave* him the keys.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: These are Gallagher's tax returns. We are looking for the purchase of any machine that can be used for anodization.
Angela Montenegro: What, like a copier, or...?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, that's so cute. But, no.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [talking about her fugitive father who left her a note about her mother] Next time he shows up, what do I do? Do I call you? Do I knock him on the head? What's my application?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, if I were you, Bones, I'd want to know what he has to tell you about your mother, but... that's just me.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: There's, uh... this old song. It's called Keep on Tryin'.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [small smile] Yeah. Poco.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [singing softly] I been drinkin' now just a little too much...
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Special Agent Seeley Booth: [singing together softly] And I don't know how I can get in touch with you. And there's only one thing for me to do. Is keep on tryin' to get home to you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, what about it?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's a good ol' song, right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right.

"Bones: The Hero in the Hold (#4.13)" (2009)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Bones gets phone call] What's going on?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Gravedigger has Booth.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets, you - you shouldn't be here. The Gravedigger said no FBI involvement.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm a psychologist, not an agent.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: An FBI psychologist, Dr. Sweets. Get gone, now.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brennan, I'm telling you, the answer is there... Ten hours.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Long pause] Eight. And Dr. Hodgins is never left alone!
Angela Montenegro: You don't trust him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [finding Vega's body] We should take his body back to the lab. Obviously, the Gravedigger killed him. There's gotta be some evidence that we can use.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Remove the body from a crime scene?
Special Agent Payton Perotta: [a car pulls up. Perotta comes out] That would be a very bad idea! Step away from the car please.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Let's be clear here. What we intend to do next constitutes felony conspiriacy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not you! ME! I can do this alone!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. NO! Nobody does anything alone. Vega was alone.

Angela Montenegro: Listen to me Brennan. Somebody you love is buried alive! You're allowed to save them no matter how irrational.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't love Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Yes you do. So do I. So do all of us. Just take my advice and hand over the evidence and get Booth.

Jared Booth: I can make a few calls.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: NO! This is not a situation where you make a few phone calls!
Jared Booth: That's who I am, Tempe! I'm the guy who makes a few calls!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth has NEVER turned his back on you! You are a selfish coward! And you never deserved him!

Jared Booth: She's the Gravedigger?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's her.
Jared Booth: Can you prove it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. We can't. Is that problem?
Jared Booth: Not for me!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [looking at the Gravedigger] I'd like to kill you!
[to Bones]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I hate her! I think I can murder her.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If any kind of people could murder someone, and get away with it, it would be us.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Sweets] Would you rather torture her?
Jared Booth: I know a little bit about that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. What? We don't do that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth will die!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Character's who you are under pressure. Not who you are when everything's fine. We're the good guys. We don't - we don't torture people.

"Bones: The Memories in the Shallow Grave (#7.1)" (2011)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Could Claire's injuries have been from a beating?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Possibly. But there's too much remodeling to be certain what caused them. Do you think that she was beaten?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No I don't want to. Her husband is a pastor.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Violence would be a logical extension of his belief. The Bible features a vengeful God who capriciously slaughters the creatures he creates. Sweets would characterize him as a sociopath.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wait. God is not a sociopath!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Let's just say, I don't want him babysitting for our child.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What we need is: one bed, one place - our place.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought you said you'd never move in with someone again unless you were married.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Are you asking me to marry you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? Me? No. No. You're the one who believes in marriage. I'm not going to bring it up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you just did.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you saying that you aren't going to ask me to marry you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: *You* are going to ask *me* to marry you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's ridiculous.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not ridiculous. It's gonna happen. I don't know when, but when it does, the *three* of us should have a nice place where there's a
[Booth's cellphone rings. Booth answers his cellphone]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Booth. Right. On our way.
[Booth ends the call]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Got a murder.

Wendell Bray: Still I mean you crying, I would've loved to have seen that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Angela Montenegro: Sort of like an eclipse. It doesn't happen that often.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well Booth took a picture of me, but since I have a picture of him cooking an omlete naked, he agreed never to show it to anyone.
Wendell Bray: Smart move.
Angela Montenegro: What? I'm sorry. Naked? Wow! Okay, listen. I am your best friend, honey, so - I think I should take a peek at that.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I've always been on my own, Angela.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, but you're never going to be on your own again -ever. Those little kicks that you feel, that's just the beginning. Look at this.
[Angela shows Brennan a video of Angela, Hodgins and their baby]
Angela Montenegro: You and Booth made that baby together. So it's going to expect that both of you be there. I'm with Booth on this one. Are you mad at me?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm actually feeling very affectionate toward you, but of course that could just be the hormones.
Angela Montenegro: I hope not.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But the baby is in me, Booth. I am more financially secure than you. Objectively, I'm more rational. This should be *my* decision.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth clears his throat] You know, we're family. Even *you* should know what that means, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're angry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I'm angry.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look Bones, I love you, okay? That's not rational. Us having a kid, that's not rational. But... here we are.
[Booth's cellphone rings. He answers his cellphone]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Booth... It wasn't the um, violin guy. I gotta get back to the office.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I-I love you too, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know.

Angela Montenegro: Look, honey, you wound up in foster care, and that would make anybody scared about starting a baby.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I didn't say anything about foster care.
Angela Montenegro: Well, you didn't have to. Those memories don't have to rule your life. Remember the time with your mom and dad. The good times. Have that life.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Answering his cell phone] Booth.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's me. I have a favor to ask you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Anything. Listen, uh first. I don't think I've been... very fair... WHAT? WHERE?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I just - I want our kid to know I'm not my dad. I just want him to know that I was a good dad who gave him a home - our home.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why didn't you just say that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I didn't think you'd understand.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't. I know you're not your father. But I do think that we should get our own place together.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wouldn't you like to have horses though?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh God. Horses. Why did I think this was going to be easy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, that's what you like about me. I'm not easy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not all the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, it's a fact that males usually prefer women they have to hunt for.

"Bones: The Man in the Bear (#1.4)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The part that isn't me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're a smart-ass, you know that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart. Although it has nothing to do with my ass.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: We see this kind of thing all the time - kids come up here, get baked, do their own version of the Blair Witch Project.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Horror movie, Bones... didn't make any sense.
Sheriff Chris Scutter: Scary, though, with the bloody handprints.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: Can I help you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, thanks. I'm with him.
Sheriff Chris Scutter: Suddenly, I wish I was FBI.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do you realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The guy *is* nuts.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, *or* was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, *or* did he just lick his fingers after surgery?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I should just become a vegetarian.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Or, as an alternative, just don't eat people.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you're a smart ass, you know that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Objectively I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [gives Temperance a gun] This is only for self-defence
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What part do I aim for?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Any part that isn't me.

Dr. Daniel Goodman: You should get out in the world more often.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: So your're saying is that I should have sex with Booth?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Good God, Dr. Brennan!

"Bones: The Santa in the Slush (#3.9)" (2007)

Dr. Lance Sweets: I don't understand has there been some kind of crisis?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I have a crisis.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [quietly] Bones, it was just mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Not the kiss. That was nothing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You *kissed*?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Was there tongue?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, you know what? Get your own sex life.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That has nothing to do with sex.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There was no s- It was mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Totally sexless.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after kissing Booth] It was like kissing my brother.
Caroline Julian: You sure must like your brother.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She does.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Bones is hanging mistletoe in her office] What is with the mistletoe?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was going to talk to you about this. Caroline wants us to kiss under the mistletoe.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's the only way she'll make Christmas for my family.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What, by having us kiss?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because she's feeling puckish.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Puckish? What's that mean?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Listen, Booth, she's gonna be here any second. Do you want some gum?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, my breath is just fine. Alright, look, I'll have a talk with Caroline.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [surprised] No?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm only telling you out of professional courtesy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So that you won't be surprised.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, when you say kiss, you mean like kiss-kiss, like on both cheeks?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, the lips.
[Booth gives a little apprehensive smile]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like brother and sister. Colleagues. French people meeting on the street.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Caroline's feeling puckish, huh?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It means playful and impish.
Caroline Julian: [Caroline walks in] Congratulations. I hear you have a suspect in the Santa slaying.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Well, it looks like the Easter Bunny has nothing to worry about.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did you talk to the judge about the trailer?
Caroline Julian: Yes, I did. What about your end?
[Bones points to the mistletoe]
Caroline Julian: Well! Look at that. Mistletoe. You take a step to your right, you'll be right under the cute little sprig.
[She shoves Booth so he's standing under the mistletoe with Bones. He stammers a slight protest, gives up, and he and Bones kiss]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Was that enough steamboats?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [She and Booth have just kissed under the mistletoe] Was that enough steamboats?
Caroline Julian: Plenty. A whole flotilla.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't know what that means, but, um, Merry Christmas.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I don't understand, has there been some kind of crisis?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, I have a crisis.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it was just mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not the kiss, that was nothing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You kissed?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: *Mistletoe.*
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Was there tongue?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, you know what, get your own sex life.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Scoffs] That has nothing to do with sex.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There was no... it was... mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It was totally sexless.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm all ears.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, I'm being misquoted.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She got the gist...
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah, there's a fictional element to Christmas.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You mean the whole 'Birth of a Savior' rigamarole.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It is *not* rigamarole.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, no. Dr. Brennan, it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Are you including you in that?
Dr. Lance Sweets: As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic ruitines of life, which makes it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's alright for us to try. We put on silly hats, and drape trees with sparkly lights, and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only alright for us to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility.
[Bones and Booth contemplate that for a bit]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Scoffs] It's what I've been saying for the past four days.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones while questioning a roomful of men working as Santa for the holiday] Any ideas?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: C'mon, think, Bones. Paint a picture. It's gotta be one of these guys. I mean, half of these guys owe Kringle money.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: One of them's a pick pocket.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ah, gets money from the Egyptian...
Santa Larry: Look... Could we go?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Cool your jets, Santa! Go have a cookie and some... eggnog.
[to Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Kringle gets suspicious, catches the pick pocketer dumping the wallet in the dumpster, confronts him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We have to sniff their behinds.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We have to sniff- You lost me there.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to the Santas] Alright, everybody up against the wall! Or, okay, put your hands on the table.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: First of all, that's my job. And second... why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They fought. They rolled around through the bird's nest soup goop.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Good thinking. That's good. Except for the sniffing their butts thing.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones over the phone. She is celebrating Christmas with Max, her brother and his family in a trailer at prison] Listen, Bones, uh... I got a little something for you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, I got you something, too, Booth. We can exchange gifts in a couple days.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Go to the window and open up the blinds now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What?
[She opens the blinds and sees Booth and Parker outside the perimeter fence. The car's hood is up and the lights are on. Booth attaches a cord to the battery, and he lights up a Christmas tree he's set up next to the car. Booth and Parker wave at her]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, everybody, it looks like we got our tree after all.
[They all join her at the window, looking at the tree, the kids laughing and excited]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I love my gift, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Merry Christmas, Bones.

[about the victim's many, many Christmas decorations]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: This guy was committed!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Should have been.

"Bones: The Beginning in the End (#5.22)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You don't think you'd save lives?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, yeah. But I mean anyone would in that position.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not everyone is as good as you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I served my country. And I have a kid here. I got responsibilities, all right? I'm not going to Afghanistan, and you're not going to go to Makapoopoo Islands.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Maluku.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Exactly. We have our jobs here. Right?

Daisy Wick: How angry would you be if it were not correct?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You mean if I were wrong?
Daisy Wick: I would never state it in those kind of bald terms. Does inaccurate sound better? No. Um, erroneous?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Ther term garbage is relative. The only intrinsic value things have is what we give them. It seems odd now, but... in Holland tulip bulbs were once as valuable as houses. Maybe we all overvalue things that are... essentially worthless.
Angela Montenegro: Well, that was more than a comment on this case. What's going on Brennan?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I need a break from that life. I'm worried all the time. Worried that Booth might get hurt on a case, and I couldn't prevent it. Worried... about what our partnership means.
Angela Montenegro: So you want to get away from Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. It's just... I just need some perspective so that I can view my life with some objectivity.
Angela Montenegro: Have you talked to Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The Army wants Booth to go to Afghanistan. To train soldiers in the apprehension of terrorists.
Angela Montenegro: Is - is he going to go?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even though he said he wasn't, it felt like he wanted to. Perhaps it's all for the best.
Angela Montenegro: You two at opposite ends of the world?
[Angela chuckles]
Angela Montenegro: I - I don't think so.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sorry. I just... I don't do really good with change, I guess.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're better than I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Pyramids are better at change than you are... Joke. Okay? I was being affectionate.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We can come back. Pick up where we left off. Nothing has to change.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. Things have to change. Know what? Hey, I taught you about eye contact. You taught me about evolution. So... here's to change.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: To change.

Caroline Julian: If it's gonna be your last case together, then do it properly.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's not gonna be our last case.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We'll be back in a year.
Caroline Julian: Tight as drum, that's what I want. And trust me, the way you two are running from each other, you better be *damn* sure of these little trips of yours.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I really enjoyed working for you, Dr. Brennan.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In fact, Dr. Saroyan, I worked for you.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We both know better.

[last lines]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, you gotta be really careful in that Indonesian jungle, okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, in a week, you're going to a war zone. Please don't be a hero. Please just... don't be you.

"Bones: The Bones That Foam (#4.15)" (2009)

Vincent Nigel-Murray: Forgive me, doctors. But is the skin moving?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ooo. God that's strange.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Insect activity?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I've never seen insects like that... except in Alien.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Running the bugs through the mass spec. Not getting any toxins. But they might not have fed on the remains yet. In other words, I need more *samples*.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We all need more samples.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know. I would just like us all to stay alive during the process.

Chet Newcomb: It was an accident?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, he was
[trying to speaking quietly to Booth]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's the sensitive way to say murdered?
Chet Newcomb: Murdered?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sorry, but when you're ready, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother's...
Chet Newcomb: Murder.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're sorry for your loss.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want to do that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Do what?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Connect to people like Booth does. You can teach me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh I don't know.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In the spirit of scientific equity, I'd like to see if what you say about psychology is true.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Did you just dare me, Dr. Brennan?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Booth gets a lap dance] Did he get in a fight with one of the bouncers?
Strawberry Lust: No. With another car salesman. You know that Indian guy, Buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From Criterion.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He lied to you.
[Bones starts to rise up]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You should go talk to Buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes. I-I should.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The tell Ms. Lust to get up.
Strawberry Lust: I think that might be a little embarrassing right now, huh, baby?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's my gun.
[to Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Give us a moment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.
[Bones sits back down]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Outside.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's outside?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Outside, please?
[Nervous chuckle]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did we get our $60 worth yet?

Vincent Nigel-Murray: The fire appears not to have damaged the remains.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did it start?
[Hodgins and Nigel point to the remains]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, I see. You're going with the old blame the corpse defense.

Angela Montenegro: Because what Booth has can't be learned from baby-boy shrink. Booth's brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is, most of the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Brilliant at stupidity?
Angela Montenegro: Especially around you. Okay here's what Newcomb's skeleton looke like 12 hours ago.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why would Booth do that?
Angela Montenegro: Well, he knows you like to be the smart one. So he let's you have that.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Refering to the Audi] Driving a machine like this is like making love, you have to go gently.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I go for more passionate and uninhibited than for gentle.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, gently.

Vincent Nigel-Murray: The fire appears not to have damaged the remains.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did it start?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Hodgins and Nigel-Murray point to the remains] Oh, I see. So, we're going with the old blame the corpse defense.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: I just... I... turned on the C ring magnifier. And then there was a little... pop. And then...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Woosh.
[Nodding emphatically as if that explains everything]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Pop. Woosh.

"Bones: The Body and the Bounty (#6.4)" (2010)

Angela Montenegro: Because it's the dream of every kid in this country who likes science even a little bit.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I'm not a kid, I'm a fully grown adult.
Angela Montenegro: Ok, then do it for your inner child.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you're referring to a fetus, I, unlike you am not currently pregnant.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [the scientist's oath from the Science Dude's show] We see big stars, tiny atoms, too, because that is what scientists do! We get the facts, and say what's true, because that is what scientists do! We use our minds, embrace what's new, because that is what scientists do!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Scary. You know what? You're scaring me right now
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because you know that if I did commit murder, you'd never be able to catch me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth chuckles] I could catch you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. My plan is foolproof.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, now it's an actual plan?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm sorry. I can't share my murder plans with you
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are dating a journalist. If in a post-coital haze you relayed my method, she might print it for killers everywhere to see.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Because you know, dismemberment and murder is my topic of conversation after sex.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's right. See? Because I always get my man.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I am a woman.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's all right to vomit, Dude.
Professor Bunsen Jude: When science gets icky it's all right to get si...
[Jude grabs a bucket and vomits]

Angela Montenegro: If I have a daughter, I'm gonna name her Temperance.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are?
Angela Montenegro: I mean, we won't call her that. It's awful. Maybe it'll be her middle name. But - I want her to love you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You love me.
Angela Montenegro: Yes, but not everyone is as willing to look as hard for your inner child as I am. And this kid is half Hodgins, remember?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, "killed him dead" is redundant.
Professor Bunsen Jude: But it's clear. And what do we say about clarity? It's a barbarity that clarity is a rarity.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's very true.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, what? Are you a defense lawyer now?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A kind mind is a fine mind.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She cut off his head. That wasn't an accident.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have no rebuttal for that statement.

"Bones: The Doctor in the Den (#4.17)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, we're here to recover a set of remains.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come on, Bones. You gotta take time to smell the primates.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why? They're malodorous and they throw their excrement.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did you know that giraffes can weigh up to two tons?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Everyone knows that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And they sleep less than two hours a night.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That I did not know.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes! Pinky stumps the Brain.

Angela Montenegro: [Identifying the victim] Sad huh? He's handsome. He's hot really.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: All right, that's enough Angela.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause everyone looks strangely at Cam] Are you all right Dr. Saroyan?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...No. I knew Dr. Weston. We lived together for two years.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's best that you... stay in the lab a little bit more, just this one time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because that's where I'm more useful. I understand. No, you and Cam can rely on your inaccurate guts to solve this case.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She needs this. Just trust me on this, Bones.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: We know people through our feelings, Dr. Breenan. You trust Booth because of what you feel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I trust Booth because of past actions.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And faith in the future. I'm sorry but feelings are important, even to you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought you would be with Booth.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Questioning people really isn't my thing. Most of the time I just wanna beat them until they tell me what I want to hear.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know it gets frustrating. And hitting can often be quite effective.
Dr. Clark Edison: And you both work for the Justice Department?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Dr. Clark Edison: Ironic.

Angela Montenegro: Well there you go. He was playing the field and someone probably nicked him for it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How do you know?
Angela Montenegro: Because despite the fact that I would love to have my legs wrapped around one right now, men are awful.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins enters] Hey.
[the women glare at him]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa. What'd I do?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You're a man.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you aware that lionesses do all the hunting?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, and the males simply copulate and eat what the females catch.
Angela Montenegro: And when they get cranky, they eat the cubs... Men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow. Before I flee for my life, the particles I found in the wounds around the femeral artery, ones I thought were mica, are scales.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fish?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, snake. Can maybe have a species by tomorrow.
Angela Montenegro: Hey wanna stay and have a drink?
[Cam snaps her fingers]
Angela Montenegro: Oh yeah. We hate men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm gonna go now.

Angela Montenegro: [Speaking of Hodgins] He does have a terrific ass.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Perhaps that's why you're always making him leave.

"Bones: Fire in the Ice (#4.12)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [watch Booth fight another hockey player] Booth seems to be winning.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: It's not Booth I'm worried about.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [watching Booth's Hockey game] I do not know how I feel about this.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Very primal.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I like it! Just a little too much.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [opening the door] Hey. You two all right?... What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Want to wait outside?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But your hand might be broken. Do you want me to look at it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, that's all right. You can wait outside. It's the Men's Locker room, Bones.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Picking up a necklace on the victim] Wait a second.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, you're not wearing any gloves!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, I... do you remember that guy I punched out last month during my hockey game, Pete Carlson?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. When you broke your hand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [indicating the body] That's him... I'm a suspect.
[Hands Bones the necklace and leaves]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Waking up after getting hit by another Hockey player] Bones, what are you doing on the ice?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I get nervous when you fall down and don't get up.

Wendell Bray: [Still disoriented after he gets knocked out during a hockey game] Don't worry. I got the blood.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Good work, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *I'm* Bones.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That Agent Perotta, she really... enjoyed working with us.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But, uh, you're the only FBI Agent I want to work with.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [while ice skating] Hey, you know what? Forget about Agent Perotta, all right? Nothing gonna change between me and you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well entropy is a natural force that pulls everything apart at a subatomic level. Everything changes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not everything, Bones.
[gives Bones a push]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Bones laughs] Don't.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not everything.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're gonna make me fall.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm never gonna make you fall. I'm always here.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Any luck with the murder weapon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. We are certain it is not a screwdriver.

"Bones: The Signs in the Silence (#6.21)" (2011)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I just - you know when I grew up, I had a father - Never mind.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He - hit you. I know, well it's not the same Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I... gotta do better, you know? I have a son of my own and - look, I don't want him to *ever* see that side of me - EVER!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: One of my foster families, I had a - a stuffed dog.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And you liked it, right?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It frightened me actually. It was the family pet for many years before they had it stuffed.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...Oh. We'll forget about the whole stuffed animal thing.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you a scientist or a doctor?
Grace Meacham: No, I'm an attorney.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Then let's agree that I won't give you legal advice and you won't pretend to be a scientist.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You want the girl to cooperate, we need to make sure she feels comfortable - and secure.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know what I'm doing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Do you remember being in Foster Care?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wasn't a potential murder suspect.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Nevertheless, you must remember how you were treated... How often did they even bother to learn your name? Every situation was way more frightening than it had to be because some supervisor was in a rush, right? I know I never wanted to cooperate. And I'm sure you didn't either.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: It happens, Bones. You know it's...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know. It's just - I saw a lot of kids like here when I was in the system. Kids pulled off the street. None of them started off bad... I'm sorry I'm being foolish.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. the day that it gets easy, you know, we're in trouble.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This x-ray, look at it.
Arastoo Vaziri: Am I looking for something in particular?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you look for something in particular you run the risk of missing something you weren't looking for.

Grace Meacham: [Translating for Jane Doe] No one will believe me. Nobody ever believes me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know how it feels not to trust anyone... People lie... But bones tell the truth... Your x-rays will tell us exactly what happened to you. No one can dispute that. No one can say you're lying.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: She was born with Waardenburg Syndrome. It's genetic. One of her parents has to have it. Why didn't they understand?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, not all parents deserve kids, all right?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Duvall Price knocks her down.
[Bones lies on the ground]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He landed on top of her. Mr. Vaziri.
Arastoo Vaziri: This is very awkward.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Mr. Vaziri, this is part of your job.
Arastoo Vaziri: I would like to quit this part of the job.

"Bones: The Girl in the Fridge (#1.8)" (2005)

Zack Addy: [holds his fist up in the 'respect' sign]
[pause]
Zack Addy: You're supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Zack Addy: I'm told it's a widely accepted gesture for mutual success...
[trails off]
Angela Montenegro: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What? Is it so odd to see me with a man?
[Angela, Zack and Hodgins nod]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [about Michael] We're friends. We're colleagues. That's all.
Angela Montenegro: Colleagues with benefits.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm sorry if that's difficult for you to understand, but what we have isn't traditional.
Angela Montenegro: Don't talk to me about traditional, okay? I've dated circus people.

Joy Deaver: Dr. Brennan, you need to learn the difference between reality and perception. A trial is all about perception.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Wow. You're the reason civilization is declining.
Joy Deaver: [Looks at Booth] Talk to her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I kinda agree with her.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Thanks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ah, I don't really agree with you, I just... I don't like her.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen, do you want my coat or something? It's cold up here.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: If I did, I'd ask for it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Sorry. And, uhm, I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You had something to accomplish. You found a logical way of getting what you needed. Probably would've done the same thing.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, the regular stuff. When it gets old, you need to spice it up, it's over. When the sex is good, you don't need any help.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, that's for sure!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sorry?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was agreeing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah? Well, don't. Okay? It kinda freaks me out.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've never gotten a B and I never will.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's my girl.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Short-term periosteal reaction on the right proximal lateral humerus was consistent with a bound individual.
A.U.S.A. Andrew Levitt: So to rephrase
[interrupted]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: and the placement of wrist restraints coupled with her hyperparathyroidism would account for the stress fractures on the distal anterior surface of both the radii and ulni.
A.U.S.A. Andrew Levitt: Her bones broke because she was struggling to free herself.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah. I believe I just said that.
[groan]

"Bones: The Doctor in the Photo (#6.9)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The victim. Does she remind you of anyone?
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, when you describe people in generalities like age and size, it fits a lot of people.
[Bones hands Angela a ring]
Angela Montenegro: Your dolphin ring. So what?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's not mine. It's the victim's.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: DC Metro Missing Persons investigated. Case went cold. Didn't go anywhere.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How can that be? The woman was a surgeon.
Hannah Burley: Single. No kids. Outside of people at work, there was no one to miss her.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, Dr. Brennan just wonders how someone of that importance could disappear.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So - so quietly?
Dr. Adit Gadh: "I will show you fear in a hand full of dust." T.S. Elliot. We don't actually fear death. We fear that - no one will notice our absense. That we will disappear without a trace.

Micah Leggat: [after listening to a recording of the victim] It's like a voice from beyond the grave.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like my voice.
Micah Leggat: Very similar, yeah.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It sounds exactly like my voice. She is me.
Micah Leggat: She isn't you. She's her, and you're you. You're alive and she's dead. Ergo. Ipso-facto. Colombo. Oreo.

Micah Leggat: Musing out loud? In the nine years that we've known each other, I've never heard you do that before.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Actually, Micah, I was having a conversation with the victim... I ask her questions... and she answers.
Micah Leggat: Tell you what, Doc, don't be mentioning that to anybody else but me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Micah Leggat: Cause, uh, they'll think you've gone nuts.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did the opiates get into the tree?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Brennan?... It's good to get an insight into the victim, but I'm not certain that this line of inquiry leads directly to her murderer.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I... I feel like it will.
Angela Montenegro: Okay. It's a little weird that you said that, Sweetie. But it's good.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Quietly to Angela] Good? If I said something like that she'd rip my head off.

Micah Leggat: By the power invested in me by the Jeffersonian Institution, I declare you sleep deprived. There's a cab waiting to take you home to bed.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you really have that power?
Micah Leggat: I saw a lecture with this New Age Guru type. Said the only power people exert on us is the power we allow them to exert.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, it's incredibly stupid.
Micah Leggat: I agree. You wave a gun in my face, you've got power whether I like it or not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How - how come I understand every word you say? Always. I don't have that with anybody else. Sometimes I just hear... noise.
Micah Leggat: Well, guess I've been here so long, I speak the secret language of the Jeffersonian.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have nothing left for me to discover from the hard evidence.
Micah Leggat: Well, that's the whole problem with being an Empirist.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What is?
Micah Leggat: Eventually you run out of things to measure, smell and count.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I got the signal, Booth. I don't want to have any regrets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Long pause. Booth realizes what Bones means] Um, I'm with someone, Bones. And Hannah - she's not a consolation prize. I love her.
[Bones cries]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but those are the facts.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I understand. I missed my chance. My whole world turned upside down. I can adjust.

"Bones: The Blackout in the Blizzard (#6.16)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Booth wants to get some bench seats that have been left on the curb] Uh, didn't you hear what I said? There's body.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Which will still be dead if we get there 15 minutes late. Come on, Bones. Please. They're from the Vet.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh and here - for light.
[Starts to pass down a menorah]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: DON'T!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: SWEETS!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Don't move!
Dr. Lance Sweets: What? It's a menorah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you know what would've happened to your arm if the elevator would've started moving again?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Extensive trauma to your radius and ulna. Perhaps even spontaneous amputation.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I feel... a little sick.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Knell down. I'll show you.
[Bones forces Booth to his knees]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, hello. Uh do-do you want to get on my shoulders.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sweets enters] Hey, Mrs. Ross sent some snacks.
[Sweets notices the position they're in]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Hello.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hello. Why is everyone saying "hello?"
Dr. Lance Sweets: Uh... I'm sorry. Should I - is this a bad -?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hello. She wants to sit on my shoulders.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Traditionally, people do that the other way around.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I know you two have been forthcoming about your feelings for each other in the past.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And the past is the past.
Dr. Lance Sweets: But as a couple...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, Booth and I are not a couple.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I understand. I'm just saying...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stop! Just stop. Listen to my words:... It... is... over!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Agent Booth, I just think that
[Booth throws a bag of frozen peas at Sweets]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't ever mention Hanna again. You understand?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: My dad and I were there. He quit drinking - for about 2 weeks. Long enough to remember that I was his kid. Best day of my life.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So do you think you could reclaim a part of that day?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's just history, that's all. It's our one perfect day.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth needs to say something to you.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No he doesn't.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Right. About earlier - look, I'm sorry.
Dr. Lance Sweets: It's okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? What's okay? Booth didn't say anything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're guys.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Everything's fine now, Dr. Brennan.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Making love would be... quite satisfying.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...Yeah... but then what? I mean as a couple. You and me...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it would never work.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm... quite strong.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, you've always been strong.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know the difference between stength and imperviousness, right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, not if you're going to get all scientific on me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, a substance that is impervious to damage doesn't need to be strong.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: When you and I met. I was an impervious substance. Now I'm a strong substance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I think I know what you mean.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A time could come when you aren't angry any more and I'm strong enough to risk losing the last of my imperviosness. Maybe then we could try to be together.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Im just angry, really angry. Not at you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [sigh of relief] Okay
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I just need time, thats all. I just need time to kinda hang back and find that inner peace before I, you know, get back out there. You know what we're talking about here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You and me, you know, and love and happiness and life and fate.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I dont believe in fate, but I know what we're talking about.

"Bones: The End in the Beginning (#4.25)" (2009)

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: You know that glass of wine we share every night?
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Yeah.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: I have to stop that.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Oh come on, Bren. Just because you have one glass of wine every night with your husband, doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: That's not why.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: [pause realizes what she means] No?
[Bren chuckles]
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Yeah! You're pregnant? A little boy, huh?
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Or girl.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're awake. Your operation was a success, but you reacted poorly to the anesthia. You've been in a coma for 4 days.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It felt so real.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It wasn't real.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Who are you?

Max Keenan: Why is it so hard for your husband to see the ways of the world.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Because he wants me to be proud of him.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Cam says the reason I didn't hear the gunshot is because I'm cheating on you.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Oh, well Jared thinks I'm the killer. He's helping me get away with it.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: So you're a murderer. I'm unfaithful. We are an exciting couple.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Max told me he works for the Gravedigger.
[Booth scoffs]
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: He told me something else. He said that Jared works for him too.
[Booth groans]
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Don't get so mad. Max could be lying.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Look, I'm mad because I don't find it hard to believe at all.

Lance Sweets: Hey, so uh, we're Gormagon. Um, I mean the name of the band is Gormagon. Some people think I'm Gormagon, but I'm not. It's like there's no one named Floyd in Pink Floyd.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Just play Sweets.
Lance Sweets: Yeah.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: [Quietly to Booth] Gormagon's a stupid name. What does it even mean?

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: What about entertainment?
Angela Montenegro: I thought Sweets was fantabulisticulous.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Nah. We got the Crue.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: What crew?

Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Should I be upset that everyone thinks we're murderers, or just happy that everyone is trying to help us get away with it?
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: You should recognize that everything they do to help us, make us look more guilty, especially you.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Poor Cam, and Jerod. You know if this murder is any indication, I don't know how any homicide is ever solved. Everyone lies. Everyone has a secret agenda. I'm glad we're nightclub owners, not crime solvers.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: I know who the killer is.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: So do I.

"Bones: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond (#4.4)" (2008)

Angela Montenegro: All right, these are children's shoes, but they're size 11.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So you think are victim was a giant toddler?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. That would show up in the bones.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Sarcasm does not play with on the forensic platform.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If your back doesn't hurt then why are you letting me drive?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well you know what? Don't get used to it. because I heal really really fast.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: My guys, they didn't find the victim's head in the pool. All right? So I've put out a bulletin to orthopedic doctors within 200 miles of the body drop.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The body parts drop. The victim was killed chopped up, and then dropped.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Breaking in a new intern, aren't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you know?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well because, you know, you're always get overly precise. That's how I ususally know.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sweets, what are you doing?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm putting myself in the mind of an obsessive compulsive in order to figure out where I might conseal a... memory enhancer, a psycho-sexual proxy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Right. What's that mean?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Masturbatory aide.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, check the shoes.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Good.
[Starts checking the shoes]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: WHAT? You're not going to find it in the shoes.
[Sweets holds up something]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do all boys keep their masturbatory aides in their shoes or is that particular to *you*?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's for me to know and you to find out.

Gary Tushman: Book-wise, it's no longer about good writing per-se. It's about marketability.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of the book.
Gary Tushman: Of the author. There's a reason why your photo takes up the entire back cover of your books.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because I'm a very good writer.
Gary Tushman: You're serviceable, but your success is contingent on your image as a hot scientist chick.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not true, is it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course not! Don't call my partner a chick! What's the matter with you?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I just wish Zack was here, that's all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You gotta get over it. Zack's not coming back!
Dr. Zack Addy: I know where to find the victim's head.
[Everyone turns and stare at Zack]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is not good.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you get out?
Dr. Zack Addy: You don't look happy to see me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, we're not!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *I* am. I really am.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know my reviews, Booth. But... do you read my books?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Every single word.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You never said anything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well I figured, you know, I'm all over your real world. Why would you want me in your fantasy world too?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Professor Amerian] Was Jared Addison one of your students?
Jim Amerian: I'm bound by patient confidentiality, I'm sure you understand?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Jared was chopped into pieces and tossed away into an industrial pool.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And that is not one of your... therapy exercises, now is it?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't want to be a sexy scientist!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: C'mon, Bones. That's like me saying I don't want to be a sexy FBI agent. We can't change who we are.

"Bones: The Mastodon in the Room (#6.1)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Picking up a snake] I find it interesting that I'm only afraid of snakes when Booth is around to be jumped upon.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You beat up armed guerillas?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I had to. You weren't there to save me.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What happened? You're no longer in the Jeffersonian. All my interns gone.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What happened is you put your own desires ahead of everything else and left.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you angry with me?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yes. I am angry, Dr. Brennan. We had a great thing going. You just... you let it fall apart.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth fell in love in Afghanistan.
Angela Montenegro: Oh. Oh. Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why? Are - are you in love with Booth?
Angela Montenegro: A little bit, but that's not what I mean.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I dreamed about the work we do. I dreamed about catching murderers, and getting justice for - people who were killed. What does that mean?
Angela Montenegro: It means you're going to die loveless and alone.

Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, can you ask me how I am? Please.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I already know how you are. You love living in Paris. And you don't miss murders and violence.
Angela Montenegro: What I did miss is my period.
[Bones hugs Angela]
Angela Montenegro: I hope you're hugging me because you're excited about being an aunt.

Caroline Julian: What are you staring at?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's you.
Caroline Julian: What's me?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are the lynchpin. You managed to get all of us back here and then you fixed it so we'd stay.
Caroline Julian: I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Brennan.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
Caroline Julian: You're welcome.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find I'd like to hug you.
[Bones tries to hug Caroline. Caroline backs away]

Dr. Lance Sweets: [Bones want to know why none of her former interns are available] Vincent Nigel-Murray? He won a million dollars on Jeopardy, took an around the world trip.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Mr. Vaziri, switched majors from forensics to cultural anthropology, he's interning at Baghdad Museum.
Caroline Julian: Fisher checked into a clinic with a case of the "hopeless vapors". Dr. Edison took a position in Chicago.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What about Wendell?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Last I heard, working in a repair shop.

"Bones: The Science in the Physicist (#4.18)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: [Rising up] Sweetie, can you pay for this? I have to go.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure. Why?
Angela Montenegro: I have to save Hodgins's life.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [From inside the lab] FIRE IN THE HOLE!
[Cannon goes off. Booth tries to shield Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What the hell was that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins exits the lab] We're okay. Everything's okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should get out of here before lock down. Let Cam deal with it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. All right.
[They both run for the exit as the alarm goes off]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [to Hodgins and Nigel] You know you're grounded, right?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're testing me on the cancer chair?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you're wearing a suit. Plus it's not radioactive anymore... We're going to need to take this chair.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. No. No. You don't just go around doing human testing on people, Bones!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's just...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I gotta go to the bathroom.
[Booth leaves]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I touched it with my bare hands... See?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You disapprove of the Collar Institute?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Up and forward are only two directions. Science should look in all directions. You taught me that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I did?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everyday.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So you think that two people who care about each other, they leave metamophorical marks which should be allowed to fade naturally?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You heard me but you just didn't understand me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wonder that about you all the time.

Landis Collar: [after hitting Booth] That's for killing my fiancée.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: One person to your left Dr. Collar.
Landis Collar: [Collar hits the right target this time] My apologies Agent Booth. My echo-locator must have malfunctioned.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? You're the only smart person I really like.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
[They start to leave interrogation together]
Dr. Lance Sweets: What about me?
[the door closes]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? Don't worry about that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What I just said is... true. And yet it... really sounded wrong. What I should say is that I don't care how stupid you are... It's not any better?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. Not at all.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [the squints join them] Okay, well, there is intelligence which I have, and Mr. Nigel-Murray.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Oh thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And Sweets, even though, his is so misdirected as to be meaningless.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. Backhand full of knuckles with that compliment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And Hodgins... And Angela... not so much, but she's very talented.
Angela Montenegro: Thank you very much.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're welcome. But then there's another quality. Which is the ability to use intelligence. That is what you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks Bones.

"Bones: The Cinderella in the Cardboard (#4.19)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Love is a chemical process which causes delusion. An intellectually rigorous person would never get married!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never say never.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's a paradox, makes no sense.
Dr. Marcus Scheer: Am I still needed here? Because if you two are having relationship issues, I should...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We're not a couple.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We just work together. That's all.

Mrs. Lucia Bertolino: You know this veil would be perfect for you dear.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, well, it's symbol of virginity and I've been sexually active since I was...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, Bones, we really have to get going.
[to Mrs. Bertolino]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you so much for your help.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that your reason? Because weren't you and Angela sexually compatible?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [pause] It's not about the sex. I was looking for a meaningful connection.
Angela Montenegro: I get it Jack.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You do?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why'd you tell Sweets? He's gonna come in here. He's gonna cry and stuff.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sweets stands at the doorway and knocks] Excuse me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, God.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, do you have a minute?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I was talking to Agent Booth. I need a minute alone.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.
[Bones leaves]

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Did you really tell Sweets that Daisy was cheating on him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Everyone seems to think I've done something terrible. I don't want to lie!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: In this case, it was definitely the way to go.

Wendell Bray: What happened to your measuring tape?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know. Missing. There was a Post-It note from the Egyptology Department.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay? What if we were going out, right? And you were, you know, taking forever to get ready. You come out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd reevaluate. Change or ignore you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course you would Bones. Good answer.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know intellectually jealousy is absurd, but I see that it's real for people... I even experience it myself.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...So, what are you jealous of?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela. Hodgins. Cam. You.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is trancedent and eternal... I want to believe that too.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, you will... I promise. Someday you will.

"Bones: The Bones That Weren't (#6.5)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: For smart people like Hannah and me, not being jazzed is physically painful.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. You're saying that Hannah does extra work because she's bored at home?
[Booth looks at Bones then Sweets]
Dr. Lance Sweets: ...No. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I-I'm an exciting guy. I, for example, I'm making dinner for her tonight - with wine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You just decided that now, didn't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you're not the cause of her ennui, then it stands to reason you cannot make her happy. It's standard first order logic.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I will find it extremely frustrating if the victim's identity is all we can discern.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, unless you can take bone dust and turn it back into a full skeleton, this is all we can work with.

Arastoo Vaziri: [Watching the skeleton being reconstructed] I come to work and find myself in the future.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Time travel is impossible, Mr. Vaziri... But I know what you mean.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Cam enters] Wow. If you're taking orders, I'd like a 6'4" 37 year old male with uh, good income and no mommy issues.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Watching Russel dance] Fluidity through which he moves should not be possible. It appears as if he has no bones.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, that would put you out of business, wouldn't it?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your fluidity makes it appear as though you have no bones, and I am an expert in bones. So I find that very impressive.
Russell: Well, thank you. I take that as a compliment - while being intimidated by Law Enforcement.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Hodgins, would you come over here and be a corpse?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ...Yeah.
Angela Montenegro: Sweeting, you do mean pretend to be a corpse, right? Because the way you're holding that knife, you're looking a little slashery.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Busted.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Her body language doesn't prove anything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, we have different definitions for that, that's for sure. That's why no one can thwart our criminological brilliance.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did you read that off a restaurant placemat?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Comic book. I'm on a self-improvement kick, all right?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth would be very unhappy if you died.
Hannah Burley: Would you back down, Temperance, if you thought you were woking on something important?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
[Bones chuckles]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I wouldn't.
[Bones laughs]
Hannah Burley: Well, aren't we a pair?... I guess Seely is going to have to resign himself to being worried as long as we're both around.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We are. We are quite a pair.
[Bones laughs]

"Bones: The Male in the Mail (#7.4)" (2011)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is certainly a first for me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Me too. I have never seen this part of the Post Office before.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yes, I thought they sent the dismembered bodies to a completely different place.

Dr. Clark Edison: Look, there was a whole lot of activity going on there. And I was just thinking - maybe I could help you out. Not meaning like that- because I would never...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tender and swollen breasts are common in the third trimester.
Dr. Clark Edison: Of course.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's very uncomfortable. My bra size has increased by 2 cups.
Dr. Clark Edison: I hadn't noticed.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's quite obvious. You should be more observant, Dr. Edison.
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh, I see now. You're much larger now.
[Clears his throat]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But you would be able to help Hodgins, Booth could help me... What would you do?
Angela Montenegro: Booth loves you, Brennan - not me. Doesn't matter what anybody else would do. You have to figure out what you can give him - that nobody else can.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Good work, Dr. Edison.
Dr. Clark Edison: But I have no answers.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You will. I wouldn't hire a fool.
Dr. Clark Edison: Suppose that's true. Thank you. And I'm glad to see that your breasts seem to be feeling better.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I beg your pardon.
Dr. Clark Edison: Before you said I should observe.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So it seems like we might have something to talk about after all.
Sheila Burnside: Okay, that doesn't mean anything.
Bob Fisher: Do not talk! Not... one... word!
Sheila Burnside: We did it a few times, but it didn't mean anything.

Dr. Clark Edison: Did you know that cabbage leaves are recommended to smoothe sore breasts? Apparently the phytochemicals in the plant...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I spent the evening naked so my breasts are actually feeling much better.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I really don't want to talk about this.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But I do. And I might say the wrong thing. But for the time being, we're sharing our lives. And that means you can't shut me out, Booth.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You really want to help? I got a great idea. What do you say we talk about something else? Let's talk about you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause] My breasts are very sore. Would you mind if I spent the evening naked?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure, yeah that's fine with me. No complaints here, that's great. See, now, isn't this a better conversation?

"Bones: The Man in the Wall (#1.6)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How does my costume look?
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, that's not a costume, that's an outfit, and you look hot!

Angela Montenegro: TGIF. Ever hear of that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Some kind of acronym?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You never dance?
Zack Addy: I'm told I look like a marionette in a windstorm.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: How many times do you want me to poke Zack?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Just once, but as hard as you can.
Zack Addy: As hard as he *can*? Why don't I hit him as hard as *I* can?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because you have arms like noodles, while I'm vigorous and burly.
[pokes Zack with the cane]
Zack Addy: That all you got, burly boy?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [after describing rap music as tribal] African-Americans aren't the only ones with tribal heritage.
Female Dancer #1: You sayin' we're natives of some tribe?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Anthropologically speaking we're all members of tribes.
Female Dancer #2: You better shut your mouth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hip-hop mirrors the direct visceral connection you see in tribal communication.
Male Dancer: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: After the Cartesians split in the 17th century we separated out mind from our bodies, the numinous from the animalistic.
Female Dancer #1: Are you callin' me an animal, fool?
Female Dancer #3: No, fool. She's using Descartes's philosophy to say she's down with the music.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Arrest him and confiscate the cane as evidence. I need the cane.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Arrest him for what? He's the guy who pointed a gun at a federal agent.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Uttering threats or smelling bad or anything.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When was the last time you got away?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Got away from what?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [sighs] Well Bones, you know... because what usually happens to me... I think about not coming back
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Seriously?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [stands to leave] yeah, you know... You go with someone, you joke about not going back to your real life, the two of you laugh.
[walking to leave]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But when you're alone... the world is full of possibilities...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: See you next week

"Bones: The Passenger in the Oven (#4.9)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [passengers applauding as the airplane lands and Booth arrests the murderer] Thank you, thank you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The applause was for the plane landing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh.

Nadine Spring: [not realizing that Booth and Brennan already described the smell of the dead body as similar to roast pork] What is that delicious smell?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Roast Pork.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: See, uh, we're partners. We like being together.
Kate McNutt: Your sexual relationship's not relevant sir. This is first class.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Booth] Why does everyone else think we have a sexual realtionship? I mean, we barely even touch each other.

Caroline Julian: You got this backwards, cherie. I am not an investigator.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Neither am I. And here I am taking apart another murder victim.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Seeing Bones wearing glasses] Right. What I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never mind.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the one who dragged you out of pure sciene and... pulled you into murder-solving.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: That's not how I remember it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes. As I recall, I had to force you to take me into the field.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes. You didn't want to, remember? This is all my fault.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Whoever killed her has to have traces of blood on their slippers. That could cause the gun to smoke for Caroline.

"Bones: The Princess and the Pear (#4.14)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after Perotta hangs up with Booth] I don't need a sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: You really don't, do you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.

Angela Montenegro: So you didn't actually paralyze him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. The Vicodin seems to be working. He claims it makes the furniture feel friendly. But he'll be on bed rest for the remainder of the week.

Special Agent Payton Perotta: Dr. Brennan, nice to see you. I was honored you requested me as a substitute for Agent Booth.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The variables involved in breaking in a new person outweigh the benefits of possibly finding a better investigator.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: Ah, let's not get gushy about it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I've seen many unusal murder weapons, so the fact that I don't recognize *this* one, eliminates the others.
Colin Fisher: Wow. My kind of silver lining. It's depressing.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So why wasn't Perotta with you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was with Sweets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's like being protected by a smurf. Not the sheriff. The guy who was in charge. I don't even know his name, but he was a small blue guy.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't need a baby sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: You really don't, do you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: Just call me, please.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [about Sweets' Costume at the convention] Where did Sweets get a costume so quickly?
Special Agent Payton Perotta: My guess would be his closet.

"Bones: The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (#5.4)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Now how is it any more odd than say shaving your face, or putting on make up?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm not hanging up because I don't have an answer for that. I'm just hanging up.

James Perry: Oh my God! You won't let that go. Even the FBI thinks we killed Kurt for poisoning our dog... We don't think that he poisoned our dog.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He does.
Nate Grunenfelder: Now that I think about it. Rocky totally died of cancer.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You seriously believe all the hoo-ha?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's anthropology, so yes.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wrong ology. Keep your grubby anthro hands off my psych.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where'd you get the saltpeter?
Kelly Bissette: Oh, um, Nate and James have stump remover, and that's 98% saltpeter. I figured that might be enough to remove Kurt's stump from her garden.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're each other's alibis. All three of you were together at the time of death.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your alibi just became an anti-alibi.

Parker Booth: Couldn't you be his girlfriend?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Buddy, you're gonna have to quit that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That would be inappropriate.
Parker Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because... we work together.
Parker Booth: That's a stupid reason.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after watching movement in a house across the street] That was creepy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I warned you about the suburbs.

"Bones: The Double Death of the Dearly Departed (#4.21)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Drink up will ya.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Cause I'm hoping that you're gonna pass out.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There are no such things as zombies. Just an island superstition.
Dr. Jonah Amayo: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She does that to everyone.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm done. I'm going to need some transport for me an my friend.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What friend?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I meant Hank. I was being oblique.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Right after we get back from sushi.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Sushi? You're going for sushi?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, we stole Hank's body in order to confirm he was murdered.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan, Special Agent Seeley Booth: Translated!
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're totally yanking my chain!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, do you think Barney killed Hank?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why don't you ask him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why? Is it because I'm an attractive, sexy, young woman who can loosen his tongue?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh definitely, of course there's that. Plus he wants you to publish his book.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When I inevitably drop dead before you. I'd like you come out and spend some time and talk to me every once in a while.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll feel foolish knowing you can't hear me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Promise.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I promise.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, there you go. Huh? You agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe that if I pretended you were still here. I would feel better for a moment. Also speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes, again temporarily. And I think that would make me live my life more successfully.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what Bones? That's the best thing that anyone has ever said about me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No problem.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Maybe uh, you know, leave my body our for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd rather refrigerate, or you'd start to smell.

"Bones: A Night at the Bones Museum (#5.5)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, The Mummy. 1932.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You don't know who Brittney Spears is, but you know this movie?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's the film that made me want to be an anthropologist. Although I prefer Chaney's mummy to Karloff's.

Angela Montenegro: Wait, this is his boss's boss. Was Booth upset?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I don't know why.
Angela Montenegro: Brennan, this could screw up the natural order of things. And Booth wishes you were going out with him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I drink with him all the time, but with Andrew there's the potential for sex.
Angela Montenegro: And not with Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...You - you said there was something important for me to see.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. How's this going to help us catch Kaswell's killer?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It won't. But it could exonerate Anok. There can be no time limit for justice, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, Dr. Kaswell's killer is out there now. We're running out of suspects.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We'll do it Booth.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you so upset?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because... what goes on between us is ours.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Come on Booth. You must've told a lot of people the meatloaf story, right?
[Long silence]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You could be destroying evidence.
Auto Detailer: Oh man! A - another drug dealer? It's not my fault. I do a good job, so word of mouth it gets around and...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Is he a regular customer?
Auto Detailer: No. He saw my ad at the laundromat.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The laund - No wonder you have no one drug dealers coming to you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're great at these things. You changed history. How many people can say that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You can. Every arrest you make changes history. You make the world safer.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: With your help.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, Andrew? I thought you were going to take him to this thing- at least that's what he told me.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was, yes, but you and I- this was our case. And I guess... what goes on between us... that should just be ours. Isn't that what you said?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah...

"Bones: The Goop on the Girl (#5.10)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have to remove your pants.
[Starts removing Booth's pants]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right. You know, I'm just going to start reciting some saints. Saint Joseph, Saint Peter, Saint Paul, Saint John...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Cam enters. Long pause] Anyone for mistletoe?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I-I'm just recovering evidence.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just evidence, that's all.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Interesting.

Owen Thiel: You're a flunky of a corrupt regime. It's my *duty* to resist you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I should warn you, he-he's very hard to resist.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My dad brought my second cousin and... I really didn't like her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That makes sense.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, because she's family. I mean, 90% of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh wow! Who's this, your sister?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Um, my second cousin.
Margaret Whitesell: I'm Margaret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's no resemblance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you mean? You're both beautiful.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd much rather hear what you have to say, not Benjamin Franklin.
Margaret Whitesell: Wow. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm sorry Booth, you're evidence now!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Where's your chest hair?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm very evolved.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: His pubic extension is actually well within norms...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Enough.

"Bones: The Devil in the Details (#5.14)" (2010)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I've been a coroner a long time. I've seen a lot of bad things.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Define "bad things."
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Murder, mayhem, torture, catastrophes, suicide. You know, the usual stuff. But *this* - this gave me a chill.

Dr. Adam Copeland: Staff. I'm good with that. Patients. These are damaged people, Agent Booth. Their hold on reality is tenuous.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, that's why we brought our own psychologist.
Dr. Adam Copeland: *You're* Dr. Sweets?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Mm-hmmm.
Dr. Adam Copeland: You sounded more experienced on the phone.
[Booth chuckles]

Phillip Womack: Ours is a subjective profession that often marginalizes the importance of emperical data.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It is refreshing to meet a psychiatrist with such a grounded perspective.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [re: Philip] He's a patient?
Dr. Adam Copeland: For almost 6 years now, believe it or not he came a long way before plateauing with this delusion.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought we had quite a lot in common.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what if feels like to get your faith back?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: When I see effects and I'm unable to discern the cause, my faith in reason and consequence is shaken.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And then what happens?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: ...Two plus two equals four; I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet; the sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand... But, everywhere I look, I see proof that for every effect, there is a corresponding cause, even if I can't see it. I find that reassuring.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And life is good again.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [laughs] Life is very good.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Observing how the suspect is following her movement from the interrogation room] I have to admit, it's eerie the way when I move, she follows me as though she knows exactly where I am.
Dr. Adam Copeland: Thet's because she can see you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's a window, Bones. It's not a two way mirror.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Notice how I'm not tailgating? Adaptive cruise control.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mm-hmm. Well, right now I'm more worried about a safe distance between you and me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because we're going to a church and you tend to get blasphemous in churches.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What, you're afraid that if God smites me with lightning you could get hit?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I'm usually standing right beside you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The Greek god Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies. Although... Zeus apparently had better aim than your god.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Exactly. Stuff like that. Just don't say... stuff like that. Alright?

"Bones: The Pain in the Heart (#3.15)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would you like a towel?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Beg you pardon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats. So you *better* cut it out!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan why are you talking so fast?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not at all. So you better not do it again!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to her Grad students] If anyone else shows up here indicating an interest in what you're doing, either tell Ms. Montenegro or shout for Security.
Grad Student #2: Why?
Caroline Julian: Because serial killers get *mean* when you get close to catching 'em.

Caroline Julian: [Looking at some remains in Limbo] This is just creepy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well it's the natural order of things. We all end up this way.
Caroline Julian: Thank you, cherie. Now you've made it creepy and depressing.

Grad Student #3: [Hoping to impress Dr. Brennan] I'm third in my class.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd like the names of the two students in front of you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I've always been proud of you, Zack. I've never met anyone more rational and intellegent. But there's a fault in your logic.
Dr. Zack Addy: With all due respect, you aren't cognizant of his logic.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Assumption number one: Secret societies exist.
Dr. Zack Addy: Accepted. Hodgins has been explaining this to me for years.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Assumption number two: The human experience is adversely affected by secret socieites.
Dr. Zack Addy: Accepted.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Assumption number three: Attacking and killing members of secret societies will have an ameliorating affect on the human experience.
Dr. Zack Addy: Accepted.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: All of your assumptions are built on a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is more important is more important than a single person's life.
Dr. Zack Addy: Yes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yet you risked it all so you wouldn't hurt Hodgins.
[Bones presses her forehead to Zack's]
Dr. Zack Addy: There's - You're correct. There's an inconsistency in my reasoning.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Booth is standing at a lab table, staring] Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thinking about what, exactly?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.
Angela Montenegro: A "cake and eat it too" situation.
Dr. Zack Addy: Is it a cake or a pickle?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's Schrödinger's Cat.
Dr. Zack Addy: *That* I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.

"Bones: Player Under Pressure (#3.11)" (2008)

Ed Dekker: You think I had sex with R.J.?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't know. Did you?
Ed Dekker: No!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Then why'd you bring it up?
Ed Dekker: You brought it up. All I did was pee in a cup.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Ed Dekker: Because Jimmy's a teammate and he asked me to. I would've done it for any of my bros.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did this boy get into college?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Basketball.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're a smart girl. Why didn't you wear a condom?
Justine Berry: I do... most of the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know what I made a mistake. She is not a smart girl. This is a terrible university.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, who didn't you wear a condom with?
[Ed groans]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Atta boy. Now you're using your whole brain. Come on.
Ed Dekker: All right, look. I got a name in my head, ok. But there's no way R.J. Manning ever tapped that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The name, Ed. I need the name.
Ed Dekker: [whispering] OK, my poli-sci tutor, Justine. Hot not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: All the bad decisions you made and the one thing you're ashamed of is having sex with a "not hot" girl?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: RJ Manning, I guess, broke her heart and a bit of her brain in the process.

Dallas Verona: R.J. like girls. All kinds of girls. I'm just one kind.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hm. Which kind is that?
Dallas Verona: The permanent kind.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You plan to live like that?
Dallas Verona: R.J. came home to me. That's the way it would've stayed. From his crappy student apartment, to the giant mansion he would've gotten me.
[starts crying and turns away]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Booth] Is she crying because she loved him or because she lost a mansion?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, jock mentality, teams, not all bad, huh?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you teling me this?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: 'Cause you said we're all stunted adolescents who take children's games too seriously.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I never meant you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, I'm one of those guys.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, you aren't. You don't play at being a warrior. You are a warrior, every day. You're definitely a fully developed man.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even Cutler knew you were lying when you said you treated women like that under the bleachers.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, and you believe him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Because you still remember that first girl's name.

"Bones: The Couple in the Cave (#6.2)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find it anomalous that you would leave her since you believe so emphatically in the mythic powers of love.
Gary Nesbitt: Do you understand what she's saying?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just nod.

Angela Montenegro: No. No. No. No. You were a couple. You just weren't having sex. Were you jealous?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course not. I'm happy for Booth. Why would I be jealous?
Dr. Clark Edison: Because it's obvious you and Agent Booth were attracted to each other. I mean a blind man could see that. I just couldn't understand why you two just didn't rip each other's clothes off. I mean just get all butt-naked and - Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Uh. I'm - I'm sorry. It just popped out, okay?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So, I'm the only one living the life I expected.
Angela Montenegro: So how's that, honey?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's uh, it's how I expected.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So it's not possible for two people to overcome their differences?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We couldn't.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Lance Sweets: She's right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: This is not about us.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sometimes when I was away I would imagine us together.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: While pleasant, it was clearly fantasy. Because we're also anomalous. But you were lucky enough to meet someone with whom you have parity.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Love. With whom I have love.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So you're saying that love is foolish and illogical.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. It's - it's thinking of someone before yourself. It's giving your life, if necessary, to that person. It's - it's, uh, love.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And if that person falls out of love and meets someone else. Those selfless acts would suddenly appear to be dangerous and irresponsible, wouldn't they?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. It's still love.

Lorraine Allen: I knew Hillary. What happened? Did she fall off the wagon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, but she is dead.
[Booth grimaces]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We believe murdered.
Lorraine Allen: Oh, god.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You still haven't learned how to ease into that one, right, Bones?

"Bones: The X in the File (#5.11)" (2010)

Sheriff Jerry Bonds: Nuh uh, FBI's got jurisdiction only if I *agree*. Otherwise you need jump through several legal hoops which will take some time during which time the victim stays in the meantime.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then why did you call us?
Sheriff Jerry Bonds: I could use the help. But I'm not gonna take the heat when people scream I sent an alien off to Washington for secret testing.
[Chuckles]
Sheriff Jerry Bonds: I've been through that before.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're going to be okay here, all alone in this spooky hospital with a... dead alien body?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. That would be me who wouldn't want that.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I won't say anything about the scream, if you don't say anything about the gun.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Those terms are satisfactory.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right.

Wendell Bray: Dr. Brennan dealing with flesh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Like a cat dealing with water.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Flesh is not my strength.

Delmy Polanco: If I give it to you, will you drop the trespassing charges and let me go?
Sheriff Jerry Bonds: If you don't hand it over, I'll just charge you with obstructing justice,
[indicates Booth]
Sheriff Jerry Bonds: He'll charge you with interferring with a Federal Investigation, and maybe even murder. And you will pray for the good old days where all you were worrying about was silly little trespassing and burgulary charges.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I find he's very... useful in certain situations.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Very usefu.
[to Delmy]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So hand 'em over.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Maybe aliens are... anthropologists. Maybe they just want to study our religion and sex, and love and our funny languages, and line dancing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: That's an interesting possibility I hadn't considered.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just basically said that aliens are nice anthropologists.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Chuckles] I don't think so.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You think aliens are you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [laughs] You got me. You know, I - I'm one of them.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I knew it!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was sent down as an advanced scout.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ha! I knew it. No probing. No probing!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hey, probing is a valuable way of gathering information.

"Bones: Aliens in a Spaceship (#2.9)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: If we're less than 4 feet below the surface, this should blow us out.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And if we're more than 4 feet below the surface?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then the concussion will turn our brains to jelly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good, then we can run for Congress. So it's a win-win

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Someone ran me down with a car.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We knew that already.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, but now we've proved it and I find I'm very annoyed.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Had it occurred to you that God is a lot like the Grave Digger?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
[does a double take]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wha-what?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He lays down the rules, no way to question him or negotiate. Then, it's almost as though he doesn't care how it works out. Either you do as he says, make some sacrifices and are delivered, or you don't and you end up in Hell.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [as they're about to use Angela's perfume for a test] Three grand that cost.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hodgins, I will split the cost when we get out of here.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: There's something you don't know about me... I'm rich.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [shrugs] Me too.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, no. You're... well-off. My family owns the Canteliver Group. And there's not many of us left alive. One to be exact. Me.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, I won't split the cost with you.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [as they're about to set off some explosives] Ready?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah... Dr. Brennan it's been a priviledge.
[they hug each other]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm okay with you thanking God for saving me and Hodgins.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not what I'm thanking God for. I thanked him for saving all of us. It was all of us. Every single one. You take one of us away and you and Hodgins are in that hole forever. And I'm thankful for that.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I knew you wouldn't give up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I knew you wouldn't give up.

"Bones: The Bod in the Pod (#8.7)" (2012)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's a container of some sort.
[brushes sand off]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Filled with... gelatinized human remains.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: At first I thought, pod people.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course you did.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey. There are still a *lot* of questions remaining about the events at Area 51, you know. Did you know that UFO spottings are happen...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Let's just keep it close to earth here, bug boy. Okay? Just simplify the investigation

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Based on angular eye orbits and a large mastoid process, the decedent is male.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Human?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just being thorough.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [a little wobbly, walking back over to the remains with Arastoo's help] I'm good. I'm totally fine.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do not fall into the evidence, Dr. Hodgins. It will only add to your humiliation.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: When I was in El Salvador, there was a medicine man who would charge women to participate in his purification ritual.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [softly] Is this gonna be a dirty story?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: We didn't bring you in to confess.
Melvin Carville: Then why am I here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because I wanted to say something to your horrible face.
Melvin Carville: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Booth] Now?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [softly] Now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [happily, smiling] Gotcha!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're under arrest.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [still smiling] Gotcha.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He's got it, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Grimly, smile now gone] Gotcha.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Name the top three reasons you love me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't have a reason, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think what you just said is very romantic.

"Bones: Death in the Saddle (#3.3)" (2007)

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures, just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some they just give up hope because in their mind they're thinking "Oh there's nobody out there for me," but all of us, we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while... every once in a while, two people meet and there's that spark, and yes, Bones, he's handsome and she's beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first, but making love... making love... that's when two people become one.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, Bones - a miracle.

Tom Mularz: [after having been slammed into a wall by agent Booth] What'd you hit me with?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A building.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What was with all the lying? "We've got voice tapes and public display of sexual paraphernalia"?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was role playing. I was being all lard ass and good cop.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hard ass and bad cop, Bones. Hard ass and bad cop.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It worked.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [searching around a body with both feet cut off] I got a foot...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Me, too.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Find a third one, and I'll be impressed.

"Bones: The Boneless Bride in the River (#2.16)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't knock therapy, ok? Dr. Wyatt has helped me realize there are certain pressures that build up on the job, and I need creative ways...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [interjecting] We do everything together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: - of dealing with them.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What exactly do you have to contend with on the job that I don't?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You, Bones. You don't have to contend with you.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, I want the whole kip and canoodle transported to the Jeffersonian.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [looks at Brennan in disbelief] Kit and caboodle.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Whatever.

[at the docks after Sully leaves in his boat, Brennan turns sadly to find Booth waiting for her]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What are you doing here?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I am waving good-bye. See?
[he waves]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What do you want?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Breakfast.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm not hungry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, come on, huh?
[Booth puts his arm around Bones and walks with her]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What are you gonna vomit when you come across one of those horrific cases?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't vomit.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Give it time, Bones, okay? Give it time. Everything happens eventually.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All the good stuff. And when you think it never happens, it happens. Just got to be ready for it.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: The physicist who couldn't tie his shoes? Oh, the former professor who was jealous of your own success. Should I stop?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [quickly] Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, the guy you found on the Internet and ended up being some kind of recruiter for a cult. Oh and this is my *favorite*. The guy who cut off his own brother's head because he thought he was possessed by a witch.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You made your point.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look I'm just saying a guy who wants to take you away from all *this* on a sailboat for a year, that's a step up!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Condescending.

Special Agent Tim Sullivan: You know Booth, uh, is a really good guy.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He says the same about you.
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: Really? Cause I figured he was the one talking you out of going with me.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. He told me to go. Angela did too. Everyone thinks it's a great idea.
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: Everyone except you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Give it time, Bones, okay? Give it time. Everything happens eventually.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All that stuff that you think never happens, it happens. You just got to be ready for it.

"Bones: The Hot Dog in the Competition (#7.2)" (2011)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [a python emerges from the victim's body. Cam runs away] Oh God! Get it out of here! Oh God, I hate snakes!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Bones takes out her cellphone and makes a call] Dr. Hodgins...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Somebody kill that thing!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You can come back to the lab. We discovered the warm place where the python was hiding.
Finn Abernathy: [Finn holds up the snake] I gotta say, ma'am, this is the best damn job ever!

Angela Montenegro: Hey, Hodgins just told me the big news - a little girl. Hodgins also mentioned that Booth wasn't there when you found out.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I-I didn't see the importance of it.
Angela Montenegro: Put yourself in his position. Would you like to hear second hand?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wouldn't care.
Angela Montenegro: [Angela sighs] Why do I try?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? I think that you should walk in my shoes for a while.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want me to see the world as you do. So I can feel what you feel.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know me well enough to do that, right?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Huh?... I want to have intercourse.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You enjoy sex at anytime. This is anytime, ergo you want sex now. A simple syllogism.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Forget it. Let's just order. Now I'm frustrated.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen, you didn't have to come with me. You're probably tired.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I am determined to see the world through your eyes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh right. And being around all this food while you're pregnant that doesn't hurt.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You just saw the world through my eyes, didn't you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh ho. It's not hard.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones makes a U Turn] Oh I get it. You're still walking in my shoes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Also note how I only have one hand carelessly on the wheel.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not very cool of me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's okay, I don't mind.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Now I'm thinking about intercourse again... You were too, weren't you?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did your interest in forensics stem from a plan to murder your stepfather?
Finn Abernathy: ...Yes ma'am. It did.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Saroyan mentioned that he was physically abusive to both you and your mother.
Finn Abernathy: He had a temper. Probably why I behaved like did. Never could find a way to make the mad to go away.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So did you murder your stepfather, Mr. Abernathy?
Finn Abernathy: No ma'am. I did not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What stopped you?
Finn Abernathy: I read a paper - you wrote. "Post Mortem Dismemberment Recovery Analysis." I knew no matter how careful I was, I'd never get away with killing him, at least not with y'all around.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd like to think that's true.

"Bones: The Dentist in the Ditch (#5.13)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You ran a background check on Jared's girlfriend?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, yeah, you do things like that for people you care about.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you do that when I go out with someone?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look Bones, you're the one who says not to jump to any conclusions without all the facts.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They are unlike mountain rams that butt heads in an attempt to attract a mate. It's hard to believe that brain damage isn't a result.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's amazing. You even make football sound bad, Bones.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. So are we all, except for Angela.
Angela Montenegro: Oh right. Yet who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You told me that my father's criminal past didn't matter. That the love between us was real. And that's all that mattered. Because I believed you, my father and I have relationship today.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, I'm glad I could help out.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm anxious because I can't see any meaningful difference between my father and your brother's girlfriend... Can you explain that to me?... It's a question of logic, so I'm just going to be quiet while you work your way through.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So you really think I was wrong?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know if you were wrong. But I fail to see the point of being right.

Jared Booth: That's good because, uh, I... really... wanted to know if you'd be my best man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow. Uh, so soon. It's only been, what, a month?
Jared Booth: Ow!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Jared Booth: Temperance. She kicked me under that table. Pretty sure she was aiming for you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely meant for me.
Padme Dalaj: Well if that's true, I like her.

"Bones: The Killer in the Crosshairs (#6.15)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The bullet severed the C5.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right severing the spinal cord from the brain stem is the gold standard for snipers. We call it "disconnecting the computer."
Asst. US Attorney Caroline Julian: You can never have too many cute phrases for taking a life.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But you said that Broadsky works alone. Isn't that what snipers do?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow, you're really going to say it like that? Okay, not all snipers are the same. I am not *him*!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Nothing I said made any such allusion.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Nothing in Broadsky's file mentions the 4th Brigade Combat Team.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it's amazing what the official record doesn't show, especially when it comes to snipers.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd just like to understand. I admire your certainty. But since good and evil are subjective concepts, how could you ever be sure you were doing the right thing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, well, it's not subjective to me. I mean there's good and there's evil. Life is all about choosing sides. Broadsky, well, he joined the wrong team.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Time travel is physically impossible.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, but so is a bullet that you can program like a computer - like we didn't have it bad enough with the old kind.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you doing this so you can kill Broadsky or because it's the best way to stop him?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's the *only* way. Listen Bones, you gotta trust me on this. Trust that I'm gonna do the right thing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I trust you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Let's go!

"Bones: The Bond in the Boot (#5.2)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Sweets] Since the coma, Booth can't remember how to take care of his own plumbing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, that's great. You make it sound like I gotta wear diapers.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I try not to get attached to my assistants. I've learned that even the best ones can disappoint.

Mandy Summers: We weren't supposed to date. I guess it's not like the FBI. We're not allowed to sleep with someone we're working with.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wha - is she talking about us?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're not...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No!
Mandy Summers: Oh, it's okay. I'm CIA. My lips are sealed.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You want to know what's in that case? You call in the cavalry!
Arthur Rutledge: I know how to do my job.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well then how come we found the killer and the case?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: The Stars on the Memorial Wall represent agents who died courageously while serving their country.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Memorial Walls are reserved for agents. Mr. Dorit was not an agent.
Arthur Rutledge: In Mr. Dorit's case, I asked that an exception be made.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, Bones. I'm glad that we don't have any secrets between each other.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah. I like that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mean, if we have something on our mind we just share it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure. Even with all the financial and intellectual contradictions I still feel close to you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Because, you know, none of that matters anyway.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, sometimes looking at it through your eyes, I believe that.

"Bones: The Boy with the Answer (#5.21)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I just think - maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with, all the relationships. They complicate logical thought.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't mean that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Could we please just work?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: All of our evidence has been thrown out. The rational thing to do is to pursue a case with fresh untainted evidence.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Is it really that easy for you? To forget what happened to us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I will *never* forget what happened to us! Or to Booth - or this boy! You are not the only suffering, Dr. Hodgins. But your emtions have no revelance, not if we want to convict Taffet.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: This better work.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I told Caroline to drop my charges too... I'm not going to let you do this alone. She's going to see the judge tomorrow morning at 10, and then we can dive in on this case.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thanks Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're partners. That's what we do. Right?

Max Keenan: I was doing it for you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't want you to kill people for me. Just buy me a sweater like a regular dad.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm tired of... all of it. I'm tired of dealing with murderers and victims and sadness and pain.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it's what we do, all right? We catch the bad people, make the world a better place.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No Booth. That's what you do. And somehow I get caught up in it.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? Maybe you just need to... take some time off. Go to a beach, lay in the sun.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I may need more than a little time.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Slight pause] Don't make... any decisions about your future right now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm just saying...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know when a dentist gives anesthetic and tells you not to operate any heavy machinery or important decisions in 24 hours, all right? This case was bigger than root canal. Come on, let's just go back inside and have one more drink. Come on, just one.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm tired Booth. I-I'm going to go home.

"Bones: The Girl in the Mask (#4.22)" (2009)

Ken Nakamura: Most of the FBI Agents showed up and started telling us how to handle our organized crime problem. Booth said nothing. Two, three days, just listening.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was quiet? That
[slight chuckle]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: that does not sound like Booth.
Ken Nakamura: Then he asked a question. He asked "How would you gentlemen handle *our* organized crime problem?" He was respectful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That is the basis of your friendship?
Ken Nakamura: That and the situation incited by a gallon of Sake on a police boat at Uruaga Harbor at dawn.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to the masseuse] Hitting the illohypogastic nerve can can be extremely painful.
[Demonstrates on Vogler. Vogler screams in pain]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where's the sword?
Paul Vogler: I
[Bones applies more pressure. Vogler screams again]
Paul Vogler: God! I am not saying another word to you people without my lawyer.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. That's fine with us. We'll be in touch. Come on Bones.
[Booth and Bones leave. As they're almost out the door Vogler screams in pain. They look back and see the masseaus applying pressure to the nerve]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, she's a quick learner.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Very quick.

Ken Nakamura: [speaking of his sister] She felt like a woman. Wanted to be rid of big brother watching her all the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My parents left me and my brother when I was 15. My brother was the only family I had. But he left me too.
Ken Nakamura: I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I turned out quite well actually. But it would have been nice to have a brother like you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I myself have not one in my life whom I talk to that much, outside of work I mean. Perhaps that is good.
Ken Nakamura: How so?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can see how much pain you're in... Is it worth it?... To have your own happiness so contingent on another human being.
Ken Nakamura: If I was willing to give up my life for Sachi... why would I not be willing to risk my happiness for her?

Ken Nakamura: If you think the photographer is the killer, I want to be there!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nak, if you budge from the Jeffersonian, I will put you on the first plane back to Japan. You understand? You know me. And you know that's true.
[Booth ends the call]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You were kind of mean there, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Man's in big pain, Bones. Makes it hard for him to hear.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I just mean that we should be designed so we can handle the worst.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We *are* designed that way. We aren't sent anything we can't handle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not convinced that loving someone is worth it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I've got a son and it's worth it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even if he died?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa! Bones don't even say anything like that. Don't even put that out there. It is worth it. And everything around it is worth it... Every moment. Everything is worth it.

"Bones: The Maggots in the Meathead (#6.3)" (2010)

Hannah Burley: Well the reason I'm here, Seely asked me to move in with him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I... can't really give you advice about that.
[Hannah starts laughing]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know you that well. And there's so many factors, sexual compatibility.
Hannah Burley: No. I'm doing it. I came back from Afghanistan to be with him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh then... congratulations. You must be happy. You and Booth.

Hannah Burley: And lucky for me, he has a partner who knows him so well.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth and I have become very close - by necessity. Congratulations again. I'm happy for you both.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is so random, yo.
[the squints look strangely at Bones]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In the venacular.

Terror: You know, you're real bad with a gun and a badge, but you won't always be on duty.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. I don't know what you're saying. What don't you spell it out for me.
Terror: I mean, watch your back.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh no... You - you shouldn't threaten Agent Booth. He can be very male.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth removes his coat and gun. And gives them to Bones] I don't like walking round looking over my shoulder. So what do you say we do this right now.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We offered to help her but.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is everything.
[Cut to Hannah's luggage]
Angela Montenegro: You are basically taking in a homeless woman.
Hannah Burley: I - I prefer the term "nomad."
Angela Montenegro: I used to be a nomad who drank wine.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't drink wine anymore?
Angela Montenegro: Um...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And he just got it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I've been studying their culture, language and customs. The Guido tribe is fascinating.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wait, is it all right to call them that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A tribe? Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, no, no. I mean, I don't think it's all right to call them Guidos.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, and the Guidos' dance rituals, tattoos, speech patterns, secret lexicons and ornate costumes are obvious markers.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They're dumbass kids.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. The avid focus on mating suggests a kind of protracted adolescence. Kids and dumbass refer to their... determined resistance to maturity.

"Bones: The Secret in the Soil (#3.4)" (2007)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Has it occurred to either of you that this might be another victim in the Widow's Son case?
Dr. Zack Addy: Based on what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because the victim was cooked, like entree, same as that guy in Germany.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's no evidence here to suggest cannibalism, no bite marks...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No condiments...

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Look at all the cars. I thought the VA hospital was closed?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it is, Bones, but I mean, c'mon. It's the weekend, alright? An abandoned building surrounded by acres of secluded land, huh? Use your imagination.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [looks confused]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Teenagers, hormones...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're saying they came here to fornicate.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's... nice image. Very, uh, biblical.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Let's talk about conflict. When you guys argue, how do you come to a resolution?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We don't argue.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Come on! Remember?
[indicates his office]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Zone of truth. Right here.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. We might... bicker a little bit, but that's not arguing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Bicker? I don't bicker!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No? What about the whole environmentalism thing?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That was a discussion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You pretty much told me my penis was gonna shrink if I didn't eat organic food.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not bickering. That's being a good friend.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: My penis is just fine, thank you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, is that the test from Dr. Sweets?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Holding the test protectively in front of her] Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, what'd you put for number seven cuz I put 12 to 15 times a day, and now I'm thinking I really misunderstood the question.

Angela Montenegro: [In the back seat of the car after witnessing an argument between Booth and Bones] Is it always like this when you two are together?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Angela Montenegro: [Smiles knowingly] Kinda hot.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Now, we've got a lot to work on over the next few months.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Meaning we get to stay together?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] I'm sensing a but.
Dr. Lance Sweets: However...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Booth] Same as a but.

"Bones: The Salt in the Wounds (#4.16)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Were there any major developments in your daughter's life in the weeks leading up to her death?
Ellen Clark: [to her husband] He means drugs was - was Ashley doing drugs.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. We don't mean drugs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No drugs. Were you aware that your daughter was pregnant?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Despite the fact that you aren't a real medical doctor, you have been quite helpful. Thanks.
Dr. Sean Fitts: Oh, you're welcome. Oh and by the way, you *aren't* a real medical doctor either.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ouch!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It will take too long, and a positive result is debatable.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lucky for me I'm the boss.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I claim one of my freebies!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I claim one of my freebie declines!

Angela Montenegro: But all beauty is transient and of the moment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like a sunset is beautiful.
Angela Montenegro: Sounds like we're in agreement, which is worrying me just a little.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Some of us take coffee breaks. Some of us take smoke breaks. Mr. Vaziri takes a spiritual break.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Who smokes?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Nervously] Nobody. Not very often any way. Just... very rarely, in times of great stress.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Anthropologically speaking those girls have grown up in a culture that reinforces the sad truism that - women cannot count on men.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't say "men" like that. Men don't like a world without responsibility.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But - that boy whom those young girls chose as their sperm donor, he seemed... more than happy with the arrangement.
[Long pause as Booth considers what Bones said]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're right.
[Booth takes out his cellphone]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know. Who are you calling?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Speaking into his cellphone] Clinton? This is Agent Booth. I need to talk to you.

"Bones: A Boy in a Bush (#1.5)" (2005)

Dr. Daniel Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are going.
[places name tag in Dr. Hodgins' pocket]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: When we arrive, the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack Addy: What do we talk about?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela Montenegro: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela Montenegro: [sighs] I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela Montenegro: Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces, their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
[Angela hugs Dr. Goodman]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened?
Zack Addy: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.

Angela Montenegro: I wouldn't bet a date with Colin Farrell on it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela Montenegro: That's Will Ferrell, sweetie. Colin Farrell is hot.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where were you taking Charlie, Shawn?
Shawn Cook: [Shawn moving water on the table with his finger] I brought him to the mall to see David.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know you brought him to the mall but we got a picture of you leading him out of the mall.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [in the observation room, watching Booth interrogate Shawn] Have you seen much of this kind of thing?
Sara Johnston: I'm a juvenile prosecutor. I wish I could say kids killing kids was rare.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where were you taking him, Shawn?
Shawn Cook: When can I talk to Margaret?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: After you answer my questions.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can he do that, lie to the kid?
Sara Johnston: We are after a child killer, Dr. Brennan. If the child advocate doesn't complain, I sure as hell won't.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What's the point of having a child advocate if he doesn't advocate for the child?
Sara Johnston: I get the impression you're a little confused to what side you're on, Dr. Brennan.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Shawn, do you know what this is?
Shawn Cook: A scar?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. I got it when I was playing soldier with my brother Jared.
Shawn Cook: Did it hurt?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, it hurt, but it was an accident. You got any scars?
Shawn Cook: [rolls down a sleeve to reveal circular scars] My dad did it with a cigarette.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He shouldn't have done that.
Shawn Cook: Margaret didn't do anything like that. I love Margaret.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What I need to know is if Charlie had some kind of accident, Shawn?
Sara Johnston: [Shawn turns his back to Booth] He's not being aggressive enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Foster kids are powerless, they're treated like garbage! You're in a position to do something about it and all you have to say is "He's not being aggressive enough"?
Sara Johnston: Dr. Brennan, you know this boy may very well have beaten a child to death with a rock.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do you remember me Shawn?
Shawn Cook: The museum lady, the one who's so smart.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, I'm pretty smart. Smart enough to know that you didn't kill Charlie. You don't have to say anything Shawn, just listen. They give you a garbage bag to carry all your stuff, like they're telling you that everything you own is garbage, and then you have to go to a new school in clothes that smell like garbage bags.
Shawn Cook: All the regular kids know you're a foster kid. How do you know what it's like?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They bounce you from place to place and it's never home. Some times the foster parents are nice.
Shawn Cook: Like Margaret?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, and sometimes they separate you from your brother. Must have been nice with Margaret, staying with David.
Shawn Cook: [crying] We got bunk beds. At night I knew David was there, like he was guarding me. Margaret's nice.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You'd do almost anything to stay with Margaret, right?
[he nods]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The man you took Charlie to, the man who hurt him, he knows that. You didn't know that he'd hurt Charlie but he did, and then he told you that Margaret would blame you, that she'd hate you. But this man is lying to you, Shawn. I can make sure that you go back to Margaret.
Shawn Cook: How? You work at a museum.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I have a friend at the FBI, if I ask him to, he'll make sure that you and David get to live with Margaret again. You have to tell me who hurt Charlie.
Shawn Cook: What if Margaret doesn't want me anymore? Charlie was her real son.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Charlie wasn't her biological son either. Charlie was just like you. Someone that Margaret chose to love. I don't think we should let that man take you and David and Charlie away from Margaret, do you?
[Shawn shakes his head 'no']
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We should stop him. You and I should stop him.
[he cries and hugs her, she hugs him too and rubs his back to comfort him]
Shawn Cook: [whispers a name in her ear]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth. I knew you'd back me up, I knew you wouldn't make me a liar.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hm, how did you know?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Because you want to go to heaven.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But you don't believe in heaven.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: But you do.

"Bones: The Woman in the Car (#1.11)" (2006)

Agent Pickering: Didn't I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How could I possibly know what you watched on television?

[Bones and Booth visit a suspect's home, and take on two men that Booth spots watching the building]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [covers first man with gun] FBI!
First man: [aims his gun back at Booth while the second man covers Bones] U.S. Marshals!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [puzzled] U.S. Marshals?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [holds up hands] Forensic anthropologist! That's why no gun.

Agent Pickering: When you were in Cuba, did you meet with a man named Juan Guzman?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause. Bones picks up her phone and dials a number] Hello. It's Dr. Brennan from the Jeffersonian. You told me to call you if anyone asked about... you know... him... Someone from the State Department named Samantha Pickering.
[hands the phone to Pickering]
Agent Pickering: Pickering. Yes, sir! Yes... I'll wait... I'll wait here.
[hands the phone back to Bones. Bones hangs up the receiver]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Any more questions?
Agent Pickering: No. Uh, no. In fact, the entire review process is suspended. And I'm to wait here until someone comes to destroy my notes.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [heading to where they think the kidnappers are] Why don't we ever take my car?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you have bulletproof vests in the trunk?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's why.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That makes sense. If K.B.C. Systems is behind the kidnapping, then Seward would be the person to call it off.
Carl Decker: A rational human being? How'd you find yourself amongst these people?

Stacy Goodyear: I'm Stacie Goodyear and joining me on Wake Up, D.C. is Dr. Temperance Brennan. She is the author of the best-selling mystery novel "Bred in the Bone" and she's also - now tell me if I get this wrong - an anthropologist who works with the F.B.I. to solve crimes?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, that's correct. I use the bones of people who have been murdered, or burned, or blown up, or eaten by animals or insects, or just decomposed.
Stacy Goodyear: Well, that's exciting. Uh, Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over 300,00 copies. How do you juggle twin careers as a best-selling author and a crime-fighting scientist?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I do one, then the other.
Stacy Goodyear: And is the work enjoyable? I mean, the part involving rotten bodies?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Enjoyable? Well, satisfying, yes. Like cracking a code. But in general, when you're looking at someone who's been brutally murdered... it's complicated.
Stacy Goodyear: 'Cause I just thought, you know, yuck!
[she laughs, but Brennan doesn't]
Stacy Goodyear: Doesn't leave you much time for a personal life, does it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's true I'm more focused on my career right now.
Stacy Goodyear: Most of our viewers are parents at home with their pre-school-aged children. What will you tell your kids about the horrors that you see everyday?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not going to have any children.
Stacy Goodyear: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, really.
Stacy Goodyear: Do you have any advice for budding authors out there?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, the first thing you should have is an idea and then... Well, first you need something to write with. They... they know that. Well, obviously you need a writing instrument and you need an idea. I'm just not sure which should come first.
Stacy Goodyear: The book is "Bred in the Bone" by Dr. Temperance Brennan. Next up after the break: wicker, the new leather. But is it safe for your children?

"Bones: The Death of the Queen Bee (#5.17)" (2010)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, let's get some punch.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh - oh! Can we dance, Booth? It's Seal.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it's a slow song.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, I'm sorry, is that too difficult for you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I just don't want any misunderstandings here, that's all, Bones. I mean, you know, we, uh, opened up a door there that neither one of us wants to walk through.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know. I - I just - was asking to dance. Because I remember the song. I'm sorry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No - you know what? Hey, it's just a dance. It's - it's your reunion. Okay, let's do it. Let's dance. Yeah, come on.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Bones pulls him in to dance]
[Booth pushes her away to arm's length]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh.
[laughs]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you so far away?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, just keeping room for the Holy Spirit. That's all.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I used to come here to find animals to dissect. I didn't have a boyfriend.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, maybe because you were cutting up little woodland creatures.

Officer Becky Conway: Have I arrested you before, hon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. You were my lab partner in Chemistry at Burtonsville High.
Officer Becky Conway: Are you absolutely sure? I have an excellent memory.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Positive. Though you are thinner now, which is better for you cardiovascular system. In High School, you were quite overweight, hence the derision from the other students.
Officer Becky Conway: Yeah. I remember you now. The creepy girl.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: 33. She was 33.
Angela Montenegro: Well, how do you know that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because I'm the one who broke her jaw... with a tennis racket. This is one of my classmates... Evelyn Simms.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you so suspicious of Mr. Buxley?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because, you know, he's psycho. He has access to the shop. And he has a huge knife.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you're tearing up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is the prom I never got to go to.

"Bones: Double Trouble in the Panhandle (#4.11)" (2009)

Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, can I offer a piece of advice?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well that's why we called you, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't try too hard to be their friends. Act like you're more interested in each other than any of them, all right? They will come to you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, thanks Sweets.
[Hangs up]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, uh, sex right?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Oh good idea.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, well, I think what we need to do is get a syncopated rhythm going that takes advantage of the natural frequency of the springs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, look at them... clowns.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, the psychiatric term for fear of clowns is coulrophobia.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not fear, it's hate. Okay? Big difference.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Brennan, if you do have to perform, any chance that you could set up a webcam so we could watch? You know, to see if we might be of any help with the case, I mean.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, absolutely, anything to help.
[Cam covers the webcam with her hand and gives a thumbs up to Hodgins]

Dr. Albert Muir: Which is the only reason we kept the relationship a secret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: 'Relationship?'... Sexual relationship?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How? Well when you were - I'm trying to understand. When, uh, you and Julie...
Dr. Albert Muir: The girls had separate genitalia. A fair amount of privacy could be achieved by an eye mask, and an MP3 player turned up very loud. Julie liked the Kings of Leon. Jenny liked Maroon 5.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should arrest him.
Dr. Albert Muir: Wait, on what charges?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely positive for the whole suspicion of murder thing. But, you know, the uh, other thing is just, uh, it's... well, *confusing*.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Buck was more dashing than you. I mean, Buck drove a motorcycle.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, Wanda was funner than you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, she let me knock off a rubber nose from her face with a knife. You would never let me do that. You're *way* too rational.

"Bones: The Plain in the Prodigy (#5.3)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [from trailer] This is *not* in the proper spirit of rumspringa!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, you're wearing your belt buckle again. "Cocky."
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Ever since the whole coma thing. I just kept staring at it, thinking to myself "Why would I wear something like this?"
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because you love it. You always have
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, that's what I landed on.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I like it. It's - Boothy.

Joseph Beachy: That's kind of what Rumspringa's for, right? Cut loose, go a little crazy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Get busted for smoking weed.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's supposed to be a time to contemplate your future faith.
Joseph Beachy: Yeah, I was seeing how in the future, I wouldn't want to smoke weed.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey Bones, um, you've met Perry. Michelle's boyfriend.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Nice to see you again. I heard about Princeton, you have very bright future ahead of you.
Perry Wilson: I hope so.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Me too. Have fun tonight, huh?

Dr. Clark Edison: [after being told that he will have to go out of the lab again to search for missing bones, using a stereotypical 'slave' accent] Well, is it all right if I get a drink of water, boss? You know, uh, it's awful hot out there, and them tools is mighty heavy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Completely missing the reference] Of course you can get water. Why are you talking like that?
Dr. Clark Edison: Never mind. I'm going.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Referring to the Amish] That's crazy!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No more crazy than your religion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ok, look, we reject Satan... They reject buttons.

"Bones: The Girl in Suite 2103 (#2.6)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [refusing to watch what she says in front of a State Department rep who happens to be a little person, to Booth who *is* watching what he says] Even you don't want to say anything that will hurt his tiny feelings!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Debris embedded in the remains suggests an explosion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So does that giant hole in the wall.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What will happen to Hodgins if the State Department finds out?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Know what? Better they *don't* find out!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Shouldn't we do something?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [scoffs] Are you kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black, that's a dream come true.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? The bomber was a female?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The sciatic notch doesn't lie!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Neither does the vagina.

"Bones: The Priest in the Churchyard (#2.17)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm not working a whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just saddled up with your boyfriend.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Your beliefs are of an invisible man who wants to run my personal life.
Zack Addy: Death would have followed quickly caused by cranial cerebral trauma.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: By the way, 90% of the world believes in God!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: And at one time, most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Dr. Addy] You see, I don't think this is about religion at all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] We obviously have issues that are affecting our working relationship, and you're afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God that I'll burn in hell?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ooh, that's tempting.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: You're both afraid that the reason Dr. Brennan didn't sail off into the sunset with her boyfriend Sully might have been her ties to Agent Booth.
[pause]
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: You're *both* quite wrong.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Wyatt] Why didn't I go with Sully?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How is he supposed to know?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Booth] Sully is perfect. We communicated well. The sex was incredible. He invited me to sail around the South Seas in a beautiful yacht for a year. I mean why would anyone turn that down?
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: In my opinion, you are unable to lead a purposeless life at this stage in your psycho-social development. Which, by the way, you should address because a certain amount of purposelessness is necessary to lead a full life.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I hate psychology.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't like it because he's saying that all this tension between me and you is *your* fault.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Mmm, on the contrary, if anything your issues are more pronounced. Given that your behavior has been affected by what turns out to be a quite irrational fear of being responsible for somone else's destiny.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [referring the chalice] Can we take this with us or do we need to serve a warrant on God?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm not working a whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just saddled up with your boyfriend.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Your beliefs are of an invisible man who wants to run my personal life.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Death would have followed quickly caused by cranial cerebral trauma.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: By the way, 90% of the world believes in God!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: And at one time, most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Dr. Addy] You see, I don't think this is about religion at all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] We obviously have issues that are affecting our working relationship, and you're afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God that I'll burn in hell?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ooh, that's tempting.

Father William Donlan: [after hearing that Fathers McCourt and Sands were poisioned] The hell you say!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Is he allowed to say that?

"Bones: Two Bodies in the Lab (#1.15)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Ask them to save the excrement for Hodgins.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did they gather all the evidence from the explosion?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You sure?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Booth, I was there. They were very thorough, and I was very annoying.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sorry, Booth. It should be me lying in that bed.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm fine. You know, I... I don't even know if... if I have to stay here, you know?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You got blown up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I've been worse.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You have burns, lacerations, two broken ribs, greenstick fracture of the clavicle...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, I got blown up.
[pathetically]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can you hand me one of the puddings?

David Simmons: Okay. I'm sorry. Did I miss something? 'Cause I don't want to get in the way, or between...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? Uh, no.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: God.
David Simmons: Well, then, maybe we could reschedule dinner?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.
David Simmons: Great.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I think someone needs this room. Let's go.
[Booth shoves David from the room and places himself between David and Brennan]
David Simmons: Uh, yeah. Sure. Well, I'll email you. Stay safe.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She will stay safe.
[David leaves and Booth puts himself in the doorway of the room. Bones is leaning around him, trying to watch David as he leaves]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's nice. Don't you think?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, he's nice... as a suspect!
[notices Bones staring after David]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
[waves his hand in front of her face]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hello?
[he moves in the door frame to block her view]

Angela Montenegro: So, how do you like David? It's not often you can interrogate a guy on a first date.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I like him. Booth still doesn't approve but I told him to mind his own business.
Angela Montenegro: Booth is a big, strong, hot guy who wants to save your life. I mean, you actually have a knight in shining FBI standard-issue body armor, so cut him some slack.

"Bones: The Foot in the Foreclosure (#5.8)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, if he wants to be with me now. It's cool.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, what if he wants to make it permanent.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's family, Bones. Okay? Nothing, trumps family. Remember that Bones.

Hank: I like her. She's real. She's got balls.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, ovaries actually.
Hank: All right, you got a pair of steel ovaries.

Hank: Always so proper. Will you loosen up?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's quite skittish when the subject of sex comes up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No I'm not.
Hank: Maybe I didn't give him enough information when he was a kid.

Hank: Well if I was a better man, maybe I - I could've figured something else out. But when I saw my son hitting Seely, beating that little kid. That was it! I said "Get out. You don't deserve to be a father. Get out!" He never came back. So I-I was left with this - with the two boys.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're a good man, Hank.
Hank: I didn't know what else to do. He was beating my grandson... Look, when the time is right, you'll tell him. And if, uh, if he needs it, you'll hold him, okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.

Hank: He's big and strong. But he's gonna need someone. Everyone needs someone. Don't be scared.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Scared of what? I'm not scared of anything.
Hank: It all goes by so fast You don't want any regrets.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand.
Hank: Yes, you do.

"Bones: The He in the She (#4.6)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Have you made many of these "ain't-too-proud-to-beg" calls in the past?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you say we just stay focused here?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would you like me just as much if I were a man?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh yeah, much better. Wouldn't have to be so polite and accommodating. How about you, would you like me better if I were a woman?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I would not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd be jealous that you might be prettier than I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I would be too. I'd be hot. Smokin' hot.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm a genius and I'm confused.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Redemption through transformation. I get it. What do you believe?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe in always swimming with a buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You gather your wisdom. I gather mine.

Ryan Stephenson: I think I should begin my first sermon to you as kind of an introduction. My name is Ryan Stephenson. I'm a child of man. I'm a child of woman. But more importantly, I'm a child of God, and as I look around I see others like me. We don't look alike. None of us look alike. On the outside, we are gay and straight, black and white, fat and thin, man and woman, saint and sinner. Should I keep going, or do you guys catch my drift? But inside... inside we are all the same.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That is completely incorrect.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not now, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Our skeletons are wildly different or I wouldn't have a job.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just listen.
Ryan Stephenson: I am sorry that I didn't get to know my father - Patricia. But I hope I will find him... her... that redeemed human being... both in her old Bible
[holds Patricia's bible]
Ryan Stephenson: and, more importantly, in you, the people who she loved.

"Bones: The Truth in the Lye (#2.5)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's nothing to be ashamed of, Booth. Humans act upon a hierarchy of needs, and sex is very highly ranked. It's an anthropological inevitability.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you, Bones. I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Sure.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Anytime.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, what I would've given to be a fly on the wall when you told those wives...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You would've been swatted, trust me.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you sure this is the best time to tell them?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: After two days of nagging me, now you're getting cold feet?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I do not nag!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know it's an anthropological inevitability for a woman to gossip and nag.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So now we're talking about a faked homicide to cover up a faked suicide?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A faked suicide meant to cover up an *actual, original* murder.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Now, just when you think things couldn't get *any* more twisted-
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [enters] How's *this* for a curveball?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: In walks Cam.

Zack Addy: [holding a pitchfork to sift remains out of a tub of lye] And, I know you requested a strainer of some sort, Dr. Brennan, but I thought this would be of some use.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: For the big pieces maybe.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: After that, Old McZacky, get on the horn with the coroner's office and tell them I want two field unit water sifters sent here ASAP.
Zack Addy: They get mad went I drop your name.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Then drop it twice.

"Bones: The Prince in the Plastic (#7.3)" (2011)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I appreciate that, Sweets. I really do. But you're a shrink. Shrinks have couches, not guns.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have a couch, and I'm not a shrink.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really? You're not helping.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: But it's crazy for him to carry a gun. That's all.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it's not.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: At the very least, he could draw fire away from you, and get shot himself. Which would reduce the likelihood of *me* becoming a single parent.
Dr. Lance Sweets: We don't have to go over every eventuality.

Angela Montenegro: This is gonna be kind of cool, huh? Us raising our kids at the same time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, and since my daughter will be younger, I can learn from your inevitable mistakes.
Angela Montenegro: Thank you, honey.

Angela Montenegro: All right, so I've used the Angelatron, and I've used Hodgins. But I give up. The toy wins.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You couldn't assemble it?
Angela Montenegro: Oh honey, NASA couldn't assemble that thing... I'm going to go to the store, and I'm going to pay the kid 35 bucks to put it together.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [as they're about to go to the store] Of course. Perhaps, Michael, you can show me what you find entertaining.
Angela Montenegro: I just hope it's not mommy strangling someone.

"Bones: The Predator in the Pool (#5.18)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where's the nearest place a tigershark, hammerhead, and red snapper could co-exist?
Andrew Hacker: How about the aquarium?
[Hacker chuckles]
Andrew Hacker: Hey, you don't get to be Deputy Director of the FBI by just dressing well, and kissing ass. Okay, yeah, that's most of it. But I'm probably right about the aquarium.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should take the fish back to the lab.
Marilyn Stoddard: No, you can't! These are gifts from Morrocco.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They need to be tested for trace evidence in a murder investigation.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We'll get them back to you. Don't worry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I may or may not get them back to you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: She's easily as pretty as I am. I mean... using me as a standard.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you *are* the standard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Andrew is not as handsome as you. Using you as a standard. He is, however, taller. Catherine isn't as smart as I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I'm not as smart as Hacker.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you once said he's a doofus.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He *is* a doofus, smart doofus.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins has just performed an experiment] See?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [on phone] No, I don't see. I'm in another place. I'm driving a car.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, if you were here, you'd be very impressed.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hit him with the filter, Booth. That's your connection.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [very concerned] Hodgins means metaphorically, Booth. If you hit a Russian mobster with an actual filter, he'd probably just impale you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, well, that's great. Thanks for the tip.

"Bones: The Hole in the Heart (#6.22)" (2011)

Vincent Nigel-Murray: [Booth is applying pressure to Vincent's wound] I... ple-please don't. Just don't make me go. I-I don't want to go. I love -it's been lovely. Being here with - with you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! You can stay here as long as you like, Vincent. You're my favorite everyone knows that, right Booth?
[Booth takes his hands of Vincent]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE PRESSURE ON.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, I don't Bones.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: He meant to kill you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the one who gave Vincent the phone. Told him to pick it up.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You didn't know. I mean there's no use...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't blame myself, Sweets. I blame the guy who pulled the trigger.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You still have blood on your hands.
Angela Montenegro: ...Booth, she - she means literally.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're staying at my apartment tonight.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.

Angela Montenegro: I mean, is this about Vincent?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Yes.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.
[Angela starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And... I got into bed with Booth last night.
[Long pause]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why aren't you saying anything?
Angela Montenegro: Because I don't want to yell "Hallelujah" so close to losing Vincent.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think I did it because of Vincent.
Angela Montenegro: Wait. Whoa.
[Angela gasps]
Angela Montenegro: What exactly happened after - after you crawled into bed with Booth?
[Bones smiles. Hodgins enters]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I got the GC mass specs on the bullet that killed Vincent.
Angela Montenegro: HONEY, no! Not right now! I'm sorry. I love you but go tell Cam. GO... Away... AWAY!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Vincent - he was looking at me and he was saying "Don't make me leave." He said that he - he loved being there. Why would he think that I'm the one making him leave? What kind of person am I?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. Come here. No. No. No. No, Bones. You got that all *wrong*. You got it wrong.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I-I heard him. You heard it too. "Don't make me leave." That's what he said.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He wasn't talking to you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was the only one there - and you. He wasn't - he wasn't talking to you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He was talking to God. He didn't want to die.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No Vincent was like me, Booth. He was an atheist.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay then, he was talking to the universe then. He didn't want to go. He wasn't ready, Bones. He wanted to stay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, if there was a god, he would have let Vincent stay here with us.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not how it works.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can you just-?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
[Booth hugs Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's why I'm here. I'm right here. I know it's hard.

"Bones: The Finder (#6.19)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This appears to be scoring from human teeth.
Sheriff Bobby Erdy: Yeah, we get that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Cannibals?
Sheriff Bobby Erdy: Feral hogs. Hogs got people teeth. I know a guy made his own set of dentures that way.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Find the map. Find the murderer.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Possibly. How-how does he find things?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The son-of-a-bitch, he got the finder power.

Ike Latulippe: Cold beer while you wait?
[Ike puts a beer in front of Bones]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wait? For what?
[Booth and Walter continue to fight in the background]
Ike Latulippe: For the boys to get reacquainted.

Walter Sherman: Are you two sleeping together?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [laughing] No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Walter Sherman: Would you sleep with me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly to Walter] You know what? You find the map, maybe you got a shot.
[Bones hits Booth]

Walter Sherman: [Answering his cellphone] Who is this?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian. Don't you have Caller ID?
Walter Sherman: Caller ID doesn't tell you who's calling. It tells you whoe the phone company wants you to think is calling.

"Bones: The Crack in the Code (#7.6)" (2012)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I have a bad feeling about this. But I will wait for the electrophoresis results to share it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Judging by the small skull and the Nucal Crest - the victim was a female caucasias. Wisdom teeth haven't full erupted - suggesting she was in her earlt 20's.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, bad feeling officially confirmed. The string the killer used - is made of human gut.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Here's one that's in our price range. "Adoreable fixer-upper with natural landscaping."
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, no, no, no. That mean a small house with weeds. Bring your own bulldozer.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, this guy's really dangerous. I don't...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets already explained. I'm not going out in the field.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wait. Seriously? You were listening?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Given the demands of a growing fetus. I'll focus on the lab. *And* the Real Estate section.

Wendell Bray: Damage to the inside, front and back? What'd she do? Explode from the inside? How is that possible?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Anything is possible, Mr. Bray - except for finding affordable housing in the District of Columbia.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We have a house, Booth. You found our house.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We have a home.
[They kiss]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh! Hey, did you feel that? She kicked!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think she's trying to tell you that she likes her room.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You think?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah.

"Bones: The Pinocchio in the Planter (#6.20)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I see no reason why telling the truth would be considered aggressive.
Dr. Lance Sweets: It is when you do it without exception. I mean the small fiction that we call "white lies" play a crucial role in human interactions.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's the glue that holds us together.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How? A world without lies would be far more efficient.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: If-if no one had any feelings but people do.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you lie to me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, Bones. I don't.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I would argue you're doing it right now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, fine. I am. It's not a big deal.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is it possible for a lawyer to be entirely honest?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, a group dedicated to exploring the truth is likely to attract individuals who make a habit of lying on a daily basis.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: And there's also a new policy in the lab.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, what's that?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You are the only person who's allowed to be radically honest. And that's only because I can't stop you.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, that's too bad. I prefer everyone to speak their minds.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I actually don't care what you prefer because this is my lab and I make the rules.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Then perhaps Wendell won't be able to tell you how ashamed he felt that he might've hurt your feelings after you were so generous to give him the extra work. He was quite emotional.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why is it so difficult to tell me something I already know?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's hard to explain.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Some things are better left unsaid.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Raising his glass to make a toast] To things we don't say.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Bones' car is parallel parking itself] What are you doing?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Whoa! Ghost driver!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How did you do that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's called "Intelligent Parking Assist". The car guides itself into the parking spot.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow! Look at that, huh? Does it solve murders?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Deadpan] Of course not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Good. I like my job.

"Bones: The Man in the Mansion (#2.14)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I slept with Sully last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I thought you already...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, it's really none of my business.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Except that we're partners.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, sex, socks, they're pretty much the same word.

Caroline Julian: I already got no proof how the victim got hold of that heroin. Now you're saying I can't put Hodgins on the stand? Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't wanna know the answer to that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why doesn't she wanna know?
Caroline Julian: As the prosecutor in this case, I'm obliged to share everything I know with the defense.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just because Clarissa Bancroft and I...
Caroline Julian: Whoa! Goodnight!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Good job, Hodgins.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, not 'good job, Hodgins'! He might've blown the whole case!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I told him it is *not* a problem.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What happened?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I don't care what he does on his time off. But when he screws around with evidence to get in the pants of an old girlfriend on one of *my* murder cases, that's a *problem!*

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Wow- those socks! Those are amazing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's right. The socks, the tie, the belt buckle- all escape valves from my socioeconomic rage.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I hate psychology.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, you know, they help meal with the day to day irritations of dealing with people that are more privileged.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I slept with Sully last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, I thought you already, uh...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh. It's really none of my business.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Except, we're partners.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sex, socks- pretty much the same word.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do we have a case or are you just visiting?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah! It's messy. Better get some protection.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Let me get my gum boots.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to himself] Yeah. I'm gonna need a flashier tie.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I discovered something very interesting about cops and nicknames.
Angela Montenegro: Anthropologically interesting?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Anatomically interesting. They call the bald guy "Curly", and the fat guy "Tiny". It's ironic.
Angela Montenegro: So when they call Sully "Peanut"...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He doesn't like to shower with the other guys because he diverges from the quantifiable morphological norm.

"Bones: The Method in the Madness (#8.5)" (2012)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It takes a village, Booth. I learned that living in a village.

Angela Montenegro: [Sickened by the sight of the female remains in the lab] Okay. Just... *please* tell me that this poor thing was dead before any of... this... happened.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm sure she was.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Definitely.
Angela Montenegro: Great.
[Leaves for her office]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Fisher] Hodgins and Cam are lying to Angela to spare her feelings.
Colin Fisher: [mock whisper] Yeah, I got that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because we have not in any way ascertained if the victim was dead or alive when she was flayed to the bone.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We have ascertained, actually, acute liver hemorrhaging suggests that the victim was still alive when she was eviscerated. So, I out and out lied to Angela.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [sincerely] Thank you for that.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [discussing an artisanal neighborhood with which Booth is not impressed] Creating handcrafted, handmade products provides artisans with the authenticity they feel is lacking in today's technology driven, industrialized world.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Great. Okay. Eat your pickle. We're here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: These are very good. You should have eaten yours.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's nice.
[under his breath]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't want a pickle.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa, whoa, excuse me.
[He grabs a pair of shorts that Sweets was starting to fold]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Those are my underwear, *pal*!
[to Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is he doing?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets has been very helpful. He vacuumed. Did the laundry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, that's great, and all. But, a man doesn't fold another man's *under*wear!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Are those Captain America boxers?

Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't you think that as a man, I should be on my own, I mean...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Most cultures have ceremonies to celebrate milestones in a man's life.
[She takes Sweets' arm and pulls him into the room]
Dr. Lance Sweets: [a stricken look on his face] Oh God, this isn't about circumcision, is it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Noooo, it's about dancing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Relieved, briefly] What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There are three important elements in moving on past an old relationship. Admission.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I admit it's over with Daisy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Cleansing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. You were in our jet tub.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [raising her hands in the air] And celebration!
Dr. Lance Sweets: So, I can't get my own apartment until I celebrate being alone?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Anthropology's all about dancing.
[Bones uses a remote to turn on some music. "20th Century Boy" by T-Rex, mentioned by Sweets earlier in the episode, is playing. Then she starts dancing]
Dr. Lance Sweets: [to Booth] You gettin' in on this?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [shakes his head] No. Why? It's your ceremony.
[Sees Bones dancing]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, what are you doin'?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Are you okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Dancing around Sweets who starts to join her, slowly at first] Celebrate. You're free!
Dr. Lance Sweets: I *am* free. I *am* free!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And someone out there who doesn't know yet will be getting the great gift that is you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Lucky, lucky them.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah.
[Dancing with more enthusiasm now]
Dr. Lance Sweets: They *are* lucky! Okay! Uhhh!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [laughing] Elevator down.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Mimics going down in an elevator] I feel so at home right now.
[Booth takes a gulp of scotch]

"Bones: Stargazer in a Puddle (#2.21)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones has made last minute touch-ups for the wedding] Wow! You look great!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You said I looked good before!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [pause] Whose day is it, huh? It's Angela's. C'mon, let's go.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I would like to marry you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Kind of sudden, Bones. Let me think about that.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you know what you're looking at?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [nods] The neck bone... It's connected to the shoulder bone...

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela, with all due respect to your art, facial reconstruction is a science.
Angela Montenegro: It's both, babe. And this time, art made science her bitch.

"Bones: Judas on a Pole (#2.11)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [talking about Russ] I still make him nervous, don't I?
[pulls Bones out of her chair by the arm]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come on, let's go.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What... why do I always feel like you're abducting me?
[hits Booth playfully on the arm]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, when I get scared, I'll hug *you*. We'll call it even.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? I'm sorry that you had to go through it again. Watching your family drive off, you know. Leave you behind. I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My father is - is...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He's your dad. And he loves you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know I'm just -I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family. That's...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen, Bones. Hey, there's more than one kind of family.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do me a favor. Pat Zach on the shoulder with an open hand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Does that mean something?

"Bones: The Beaver in the Otter (#4.23)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tell you what, Bones, you know when I was in college, my frat. We stole a cadaver, dressed it like Caesar, put it on statue of a horse.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would this, by any chance, be a fraternity of sociopaths?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think you'll find your missing Medical School Cadaver over there.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sitting in the bleachers. He hasn't moved since we got here.
Sheriff Tina Mullins: No. That's just campus security. They're always like that. But I'll go check it out.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you go with him, then he won't be alone. You won't let him be bad. And his frontal lobe will always be the size of a raisin. That's what you said. Makes no scientific sense.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I said that. Got it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have to admit, I'm impressed that you picked her out of a crowd. How did you do it?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're not going to believe me anyway. Just going to say I guessed. So have it your way, I guessed.
[Sweets starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I don't think you're serious. I'd like to know what you saw.
[the door closes]

"Bones: The Witch in the Wardrobe (#5.20)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should start with the more recent remains.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Which are sealed up. What is it with this job and corpses encased in mystery wrap?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after the wiccans strip during their ceremony] Okay, why is that when things like this happen, it always happens to people you *don't* want to see naked?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Huh?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a little outside my expertise, but they look like bat bones to me. You missed that Clark?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, Clark's error is completely understandable. Given the condition of the remains, and the bizzare nature of their circumstances.
Dr. Clark Edison: Thank you Dr. Brennan.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, but I made the call on a piece-of-crap cathode ray tube while in jail.
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh, that's right. You're in jail.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I wished for... I wished you could find happiness.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know what that means?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Happiness. Love, laughter, friendship, purpose, and a dance.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh? Well then thank you.
[Booth laughs]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why is that funny?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, cause you know, you wouldn't have thanked me if you didn't think that part of it was true.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I was - I was thanking you for your kindness. Not because I believe in the outcome.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ah. I detect relief.

"Bones: The Woman at the Airport (#1.10)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: X-rays, pictures, we're going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.
Zack Addy: Kid gloves?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Latex should be all right.
[pauses, considers]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Zack, were you being metaphoric?
Zack Addy: I decided to give it a shot - which was also metaphoric.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know, I'd like to drive sometimes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [changing the subject] Look, our contact out here is Special Agent Tricia Finn.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm an excellent driver.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: OK, Rain Man.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Every culture nurtures ideals of beauty toward which people strive - fine! But in the future people'll look back upon the surgical alterations of the nose or breasts or buttocks with the same horror that we regard the binding of feet or the use of bronze coils to extend the neck.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You wanna speak up? 'Cause it's really hard to hear every word in this very, very quiet waiting room.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's barbaric! It's painful! It's wrong! This murder victim may never be identified because some glorified barber with a medical degree has the arrogance to think that he could do better than a millennium of evolution.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: We're born unique. Our experiences mold and change us. We become someone, all of us, and to have that taken away by murder, to be erased from existence against our will, it's just...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Evil?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Unacceptable.

"Bones: Mummy in the Maze (#3.5)" (2007)

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, listen. You stay here. Anyone comes through that door, you shoot their heads off. EXCEPT ME!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My gun is too big for me.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Could've told you that a hundred times. Here, take mine.
[they exchange weapons]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Guard Megan.

[Bones has dressed as Wonder Woman for a Halloween party]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What are you supposed to be?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: [dressed in a tweed suit and horn-rimmed glasses] I'm a nerd squint.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [the team, all dressed for Halloween, is trying to narrow down the location of the latest victim in time to save her] Megan Shaw is still alive.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What do you want me to do?
Dr. Zack Addy: [Referring to Booth] He wants us to guess.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, my guess is Hawaii.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Not Hawaii.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, guess again. But better.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. I'm sorry.
Angela Montenegro: Booth. They... don't guess.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, who's they?
Dr. Camille Saroyan, Angela Montenegro: [Pointing to Bones, Hodgins and Zack] Them.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, that's just stupid.
Dr. Zack Addy: [Emphatically] We do *not* guess.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? You're a horse's ass.
Dr. Zack Addy: Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder?

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Explaining how he came to know who the murderer is] Lola beats up the girls. Leaves 'em bleeding. Who shows up to help? Access to drugs.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The EMT. Smart. You should wear a lab coat at all times.

"Bones: The Skull in the Desert (#1.17)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, no offense to Angela, but she doesn't really know this guy. She's only with him, what? Only three weeks out of the year?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, no offense to you, but you are a stodgy traditionalist when it comes to relationships, buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stodgy? Stodgy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, stodgy.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Obviously you subconsciously sifted through the rational facts of the case and processed the most likely scenario.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sure that's it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, what else could it be?
Angela Montenegro: It's the only rational explanation.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wait, are you guys making fun of me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Let's go back home. You know, where there's water and shelter and living things? Come on.

[Brennan calls Booth on his cell phone]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How far are you from Dulles?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: As far as your office is from Dulles.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you in my office?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I need your findings on the Richmond case. Listen, Zack won't tell me where they are unless you give him permission.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's a 9:15 flight to Denver, then there's an 11:35 flight to Santa Fe. You have to run to make the connection.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Forget it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, please. Angela's boyfriend is missing... maybe dead. It took all of my charm...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All of your charm? Oh boy...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...just to get the sheriff to let me look at the skull. When I asked him to let me send the skull to the Jeffersonian, he told me I am not a cop and I don't have any jurisdiction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Which is true. Okay, look, what do you want me to do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want you to get Federal on his ass.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [smiles smugly and proudly] Oh!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Nothing in this universe happens just once. Infinity goes in both directions. There is no unique event, no singular moment.

"Bones: The Man in the Mud (#3.10)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [about her relationship with Booth] We're not blue fish.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No changies.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No takebacks!

Park Ranger: Is she serious about the mud?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Serious as a gas attack.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Heart attack, Bones. Serious as a heart attack.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey! Check this drain for blood.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [On Booth's cell phone] Blood suspended in toluene might be testable for DNA.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tell Hodgins he did a good job.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'll tell Hodgins he did a good job if-
[He sees that a light shining on the drain reveals blood]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm waiting...

"Bones: The Proof in the Pudding (#5.12)" (2010)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: And if he was killed by two gunmen, then the government lied. They covered it up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, does - does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a - a famous assasin?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: John Wilkes Booth, who killed President Lincoln.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You promised you would never mention that. You said that to me.
[Booth starts to leave. Bones starts chasing after him]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You told me not to. I never promised. I promise now. I promise now!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Do you know how many people Booth has shot for his country?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Uh, approximately 50.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. That's a lot of blood to have on your hands. I mean that's the kind of thing that would keep a person up at night.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And Booth did that, because he trusted that it was right. And who did he trust?
Dr. Lance Sweets: The government.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: They lied about the murder of the president, they can lie about anything.

[to gain access to the locked-down Jeffersonian, Booth shoots out a glass door]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [brightly] Hi, Bones.
[Booth is immediately tackled by Jones and Smith]

Mr. White: You want my permission to shoot a cantaloupe ?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Mr. White: With my sidearm ?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You took away Agent Booth's firearm.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You want our best work ? This is what we do.
Mr. White: And this experiment is essential to cause of death ?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling pertaining to the midsagittal plane, a cephalometric transaction or translation, if you will, of the intermatrix can be deduced by correlating the force-displacement values with the osteogenic and geogenic hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.
Mr. White: Which is the cantaloupe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You understand me perfectly.

"Bones: The Change in the Game (#6.23)" (2011)

Max Kennan: I don't know. Something weird here. You're - you're almost polite to each other. What is it? You have a fight?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, I just really really want to be there when Angela's baby is born.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. So how soon before I can become a Thunderball?

Max Kennan: [as Bones is looking through Amber's bag] Don't you need a warrant for that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: If Buck and I ever have a child, she will *not* turn out like Amber.
Max Kennan: Yeah, Temperance, it's just us monkeys. You don't have to keep up the cover story.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I find it helpful to remain in character.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, what if it wasn't Fowler who rigged the lane? What if it was Amber?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Fowler figures it out...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She figures it out.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: If we ever have a child like that, Buck...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh ho. That's never ever gonna happen, Wanda - ever!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: They looked so happy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, yeah. They had a baby.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Their whole lives have changed. You'd think they'd be a little more apprehensive.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know. Having a baby... that's a good thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You really think that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, it's a great thing. Why... what?
[They stop walking and Bones looks at Booth questioningly]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, come on Bones. Look the baby... the baby's fine, it's healthy. They had a healthy baby. Alright? They love each other. This is the happiest day of their lives. Okay?
[Bones continues to stare]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm...
[laughs]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm pregnant. You're the father.

"Bones: The Body in the Bag (#6.10)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, we're covered in flesh and bone fragments. Scrape it all off into evidence bags. Be careful not to swallow.

Ming Tsou: [Bones want to measure his leg] No. You could make a mistake.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't make mistakes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Tsou looks at Booth] She doesn't.

Angela Montenegro: But if we can find a portion in any of these. We might be able to make a composite.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's brilliant, Angela.
Angela Montenegro: Or if it doesn't work, totally idiotic.

Attractive Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd like that.
Hannah Burley: [to Bones] I'm gonna go. I'll see you later.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.
Attractive Man: No wait. I wanted to buy you a drink - *both* of you. What do you say?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Hannah and Bones both laugh] No. God no!
Hannah Burley: Get lost creep!

"Bones: The Woman in Limbo (#1.22)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The NCIC database? That's... that's criminals! My parents were on a list of federal offenders?
Russ Brennan: How do you like that? Guess a criminal nature runs in the family.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [holding up a picture of her brother] You were seven years old, Russ. Old enough to remember. What... what is your real name? What is *my* real name?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it's right here in the file.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [turning to Booth] No! *No!* I want *him* to tell me!
[exhales, and faces Russ]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What is my real name, Russ?
Russ Brennan: [long pause] My name was Kyle. Your name was Joy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *You* are not my brother!
[slaps Russ]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! He lied about that! What else are you lying about? What else are you not telling us?
[angrily walks off]

Russ Brennan: I call... every year... on your birthday. You never pick up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Take a hint.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [shaken] My name is Brennan. I'm Dr.-Dr. Temperance Brennan. I work at the Jeffersonian Institution. I'm a forensic anthropologist. I specialize in identif...
[starts to cry]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: in identifying-in identifying people when nobody knows who they are. My father was science teacher. My mother was a bookkeeper. My brother- I have a brother. I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know who you are. Hey, I know. It's ok. I know.
[Booth holds Bones as she starts to sob]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: The weapons that McVicar had on him, they're a violation of his agreement with the Witness Protection Program. I'm gonna take him into custody. I'm gonna get a warrant. I'm gonna search his farm.
Russ Brennan: Search for what?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: McVicar liked to bash in people's heads. Maybe we'll get lucky and match the weapon he used on your mother.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's unlikely.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: In that case, we'll still ruin his day.

"Bones: The Woman in the Tunnel (#1.16)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're nervous.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not nervous, I'm scared. I don't know how to talk to crazy people unless I'm dating them.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, give me your gun. Take the restraints out of my belt and put 'em on Kyle.
[Bones puts her gun in Booth's pants pocket]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not cocked, is it? Because where that's pointed...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're safe.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: She knew about this treasure. She was going to put it in her documentary. It would have cost you guys a fortune. So one of you killed her. Who's left-handed?
[starts walking towards Kyle]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you know it's best to have this sort of explanation after the bad guys are incapacitated.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [turns to Booth] Why?
Kyle Montrose: [shoves Bones, grabs a candlestick and attacks Duke] You killed her for this?
[Bones knocks Kyle out]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's why.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah. Well, I'll try to remember that for next time.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Every society has its bottom-dwellers, and every society fears its bottom-dwellers, because they are a symbol of what happens in that society if you fail.

"Bones: The Bones on the Blue Line (#5.15)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why are you only asking about things that mean nothing?
Riku Inagawa: Those are the things that mean everything.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Speaking of her books] Angela helps me with those scenes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Angela helps me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Page 187?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Angela... Though I'm anxious to try it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?

Riku Inagawa: [after Booth draws his weapons] That is very sexy. Big Andy with a gun protecting Kathy.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, no, no, no. He is not Andy, and I'm not Kathy... Plus it's more exciting when he shoots someone with it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well it is, Booth. And impressive, he never misses.
Riku Inagawa: Andy sometimes misses.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: The idea of soul mates actually originated with Plato.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, you mean the clay that kids play with.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. The-
[Booth smiles at her]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ohhh...
[laughing]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're joking.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Me, joke? No.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, the ancient Greek philosopher. His theory was that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs and two faces. Zeus was threatened by their power and split them all in half, condemning us all to spend our lives trying to complete ourselves.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [smiles at her] I don't believe that's true.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I agree. It's ridiculous.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right?

"Bones: The Man on Death Row (#1.7)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: To shoot people.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not a good response.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'll ask the others, but they might have plans.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's Friday night and they're racing beetles.

[after Bones attacks Howard Epps]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are you gonna arrest me for assault?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From what I saw, purely self-defense.

Angela Montenegro: [Angela has been called away from a date] Why did you call me in?
[about her date]
Angela Montenegro: Look at him - he's cuter than a monkey with a puppy... What's the big, steaming rush?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A man is scheduled to die in twenty-six hours. I think he'd like to have our results before then.
Angela Montenegro: Good one.

"Bones: The Master in the Slop (#9.14)" (2014)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A negative note about a Canadian, Dr. Filmore?
Dr. Douglas Filmore: Oh. Yes. A report without negative comments about a Canadian would be unacceptable in Canada.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Sweets] I play chess, too. Not like you, of course. I've been trying to teach Booth, but he keeps referring to the Knights as horseys.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Angela and Cam after discovering that they are to be honored as women of science in a bathing suit calendar with nine other women] So, they actually *are* outstanding women of science. I would hate to think of three less outstanding women replacing us.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: But, we'll be hanging in labs all across the country.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Exactly! We have a duty to show the scientific community that the Jeffersonian is an institution where pulchritude is as abundant as brilliance.
[laughing]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I never thought I would be honored in this way.

"Bones: The Sin in the Sisterhood (#6.12)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But you can't run ballistics. We haven't recovered the bullet yet.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Well, when the do. I'll be ready.
Angela Montenegro: Is it safe to shoot in the lab?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Probably not. Uh, can you stand behind the line?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can I do it?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No. You can go look at some bones. Take some ear protection with you. This gun is *mine*.
[Bones and Angela take some ear muffs and leave]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: FIRE IN THE HOLE!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're agree with me?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Only in so far that the victim should have realized how complicated his relationships would become in our present culture. In that case- and in that case only, he - he was a - he was a nitwit.
[Bones laughs]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was a nitwit.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did you just laugh?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I did. I think I did. I'm sorry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's wrong because a man is dead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's right. You're right. It's sad...
[Booth laughs]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He was a bonehead!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it means, Bones, that you know, you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person you love the most.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But how do you know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages travelling throughout your limbic system?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just do.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...What if you let that person get away?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That person's not going anywhere.

"Bones: The Knight on the Grid (#3.8)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: If we fool them into thinking we're transferring the sculpture, they might try to grab it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, if he wants it as much as Sweets says, they'll try to steal it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because I didn't think of it.

Ray Porter: How stupid do you think I am?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: At the moment, very, very stupid.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm totally into the Gormogon file. And it's my opinion you're looking for a duo.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: How did you get the file?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Upset, she turns to Booth] You gave him the case file?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Time out, okay? He came up with the whole duo thing.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We found another widow's son skeleton. This one's complete.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Begrudgingly] The teeth marks suggest... two cannibals.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Really. That's awesome! It's like the Sith lords, man. There's always only two of them.

"Bones: The Shallow in the Deep (#6.6)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, you've been shot, and beaten, and jumped out of an airplane. The skeletal damage alone...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh God! I'm falling apart.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're fine. It's your skeleton that's falling apart.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay, since you both saw the incident. I've decided to take Agent Booth's advice. Anyway, even though Daisy and I aren't dating, I've decided we can still enjoy each other's company. Casually. Once in a while.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not sure why I should care. Are you planning on have sex somewhere that I will witness it?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I hope not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Then I definitely don't care.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm with her.

Daisy Wick: I don't want you to think that Lance and I are dating, because we're not. That was purely accidental intercourse.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You had intercourse accidentally? What were you trying to do, Miss Wick?
Daisy Wick: I was returning a book.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And your pants fell off?

"Bones: The Woman in the Sand (#2.8)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What do you think?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I have enough bibles, thank you, but try next door.

[Booth and Bones are undercover watching an illegal fight club]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's human cock-fighting.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: More like lesser surrogates engaged in battles on behalf of the elite lords who don't have the courage to fight themselves.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. You know what?
[clicks his fingers]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come back to me, Roxie, huh?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ooo, look at all the sweat!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh my god! I completely forgot you can't be here, Booth. You're a degenerate gambler.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Former gambler, okay? Not degenerate. I've been through the program, okay? And you know, he's on the move!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if you get a sudden urge to gamble while you're here? It's like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?

"Bones: The Gunk in the Garage (#8.3)" (2012)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We are utilizing this shock tube to recreate the effects the blast had on the victim's bones.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Where did you get that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, Hodgins requisitioned it from the Hall of Patents.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Requisitioned?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I left a note.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm sorry you're not getting the promotion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ah, thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're welcome.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, for... lying to me. Thank you. I mean, I know it's a white lie. But, I mean, look at you, being all sweet and lying to me.
[smiles at her]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can I start buying you things now?
[They're sitting down to dinner]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. You can't. But, hey, I'll tell you what. You can start buying Christine stuff.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know you'd like a new grill.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Christine would *love* a new grill. She would love it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Baby girls need grills.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They need grills. And a new tool set. What is this?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's quinoa.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Queen wha...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Quinoa. It's a grain.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, with a new grill, we could cook *steaks*.

"Bones: The Titan on the Track (#2.1)" (2006)

Lisa Supac: [after advising Dr. Brennan and the rest of the team the Turko will only get 10 years for his involvement in the train crash] It's 10 years or nothing. I can only work with what I'm given, and the forensic work on this was not good enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Lisa Supac: You were fooled by fake dental records, you baked some spam.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did you want us to do?
Lisa Supac: Your jobs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supek, you want us to do your job. My people gave you all the evidence you need to fry Turko with any reasonable jury.
Lisa Supac: Forensically...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We gave you everything you needed to arrest Turko.
Lisa Supac: Arrest is not a conviction.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We definitely gave you enough to reject his plea bargain and indict him in the wrongful death of a Senator.
Lisa Supac: Indictment is not a conviction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You accept that plea bargain and the investigation stops.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Indict him. Give us time to get you what you need.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you accept this plea bargain, you don't deserve to be a Federal Prosecutor.
Lisa Supac: Dr. Saroyan!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, it's scary. The whole country'll be watching the trial and you don't want to go in with less than a sure thing. But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Angela Montenegro: [together] Not Zack.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can tell the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided, and if you any ability as a prosecutor you'll win the case.
Lisa Supac: Are you finished?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supeck. In the future when you have problems with my team, you'll register them with me, in private, not by grand standing in a public forum.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Come on, Booth. The part of you with the big gambling problem must love this idea.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right there. Mm-hm. That's the reason you didn't get Cam's job.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Been out to your mother's grave?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Why would I?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: To connect.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: She's dead, Booth. Dead, as in 'gone from this world'.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? Fine. Forget it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Excuse me. I'm curious. Do you talk to the headstone? I mean, what do you say?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It looks like I'm talking to the headstone, but what I'm really saying is--Forget where the words are directed. What I say is that I remember them.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They can't hear you, because they're dead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: My mouth moves, words come out, but none seem to get across the drawbridge to the princess I know who awaits within.

"Bones: The Man with the Bone (#1.18)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Walking along a hallway leading to the morgue] Welcome to the dungeon.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why the FBI always stick their morgues in the most depressing basement they can find?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't be such a snob Bones, ok? Not everyone gets to play in a multimillion dollar lab, you know... with skylights.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's because as a society we feel the need to hide death away. The people who deal with the death are viewed as freaks.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Looking at the bones, allegedly those of a pirate, on the computer screen] Maybe they're right. Maybe this man died burying a treasure. Ironic. Stealing all that and never enjoying the spoils.
Angela Montenegro: So you believe there's treasure?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe there's greed. That's the real curse.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are Rangers afraid of SEALs?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? Come on, Bones. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Rangers aren't afraid of anybody. All right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: SEALs are pretty good though.

"Bones: The Girl in the Gator (#2.13)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Booth, after he shot the clown head on the truck] That... was not good.

[Brennan is in Florida talking on the phone to Booth, who is in Washington]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought you said you'd be down on the next flight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I haven't met with the shrink yet.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What shrink?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, the department psychiatrist has to sign a piece of paper saying, you know, that I am not nuts, before I get my gun back, so I got an appointment tomorrow.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Great. Now I have to break in this Agent Sullivan?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sully's a great guy, okay. And for your information, you never broke *me* in.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Judy's stab wound was probably from a bolt of some kind right through
[she approaches Sullivan]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: here.
[She touches an area on his back]
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: So, just inside her scapula?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes... most laymen refer to it as a shoulder blade.
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: Well, I told you I went to college. I minored in kinesiology. Although, this is the first time I've used it to impress a lady.

"Bones: The Bone That Blew (#4.10)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Whose sperm hit whose egg shouldn't determine who works here!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So I thought he was strangled.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was strangled, shot and set on fire.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Someone wanted to make sure he didn't get home.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Can I ask you what's really going on between you?
Max Keenan: Tempe doesn't want me working at the Jeffersonian.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's a conflict of interest, we catch criminals, my dad is a criminal.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That would be valid...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
Dr. Lance Sweets: If it were your *real* reason. But it's not.

"Bones: The Bikini in the Soup (#6.14)" (2011)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You've reached the age where every male must be treated as a perspective mate.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm not that much older than you and I have someone! I'm sorry. I'm on edge.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. You're correct.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Bones is on her cellphone] No, it's not my mother.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Booth] He thinks that you're my mother.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Loudly] Look, I'm not her mother!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to her cellphone] I-I don't have a mother. Could I phone you back to tell you no?... Thanks.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find it a little bit insulting that they think that I'd be available at the last minute.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you are.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, but they don't know that! And it's by choice - like you. It's a ridiculous holiday. The banks don't even close.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I agree with you there. It is a ridiculous holiday. I think I'll just end up at the shooting range. I mean, it seems fitting.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In honor of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know I never thought of it that way. But yeah - yeah. That's right.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sounds like fun.

"Bones: The Man in the Cell (#2.12)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah it's pretty big, right. Bigger than the one you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me, it's not the size that matters. It's how you *use* it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I think size is pretty important.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The point is you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.
Angela Montenegro: If you do have one, bigger is always better.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pointing her weapon at Epps as Booth arrives] You won't let me shoot him, will you?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones pulls out her gun] You know, I could have the Bureau pull your license.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, and I could assign Zack as your forensic Anthropologist.

"Bones: The Secrets in the Proposal (#9.1)" (2013)

Daisy Wick: He was conked on the head. Twice.
[Excitedly]
Daisy Wick: Which gives us cause of death!
[Holding up her hand]
Daisy Wick: Would you care to high five?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I would not.
Daisy Wick: I can do it myself.
[She slaps her own hand]

Aldo Clemens: Booth loves you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth told you that?
Aldo Clemens: He confessed it to me. Not being married is a sin to him. I'm not sure a non-believer can understand that kind of sacrifice.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wanted to marry him.
Aldo Clemens: [shaking his head] Not as much as he wants to marry you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after a long thoughtful pause] You want me to have faith in him?
Aldo Clemens: You know, I've seen Booth do some terrible and, and difficult things. But, only if he was compelled by a very good reason.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, I have to tell you something.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Deeply shaken] Uh. Alright, look, Bones, please just- you just gotta give me a little bit more time. That's all. Please.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Booth, I'm not... I'm not leaving you.
[They hug and he sighs deeply in relief]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What I want to tell you is that I have absolute faith in you. I *trust* you. I know you love me. And Christine and... I'm sorry I lost sight of that temporarily. You're a good man. You have your reasons, and when you can, you'll share them with me. I'm sorry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We'll be fine. The next time, it's your turn to ask me to marry you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I will. As soon as I can, I will.

"Bones: The Widow's Son in the Windshield (#3.1)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: There's a phrase in ancient Greek burned into the back of the vault door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, what's it say?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know, it's in ancient Greek.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How do I say this in a way that makes sense to Booth?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Something chewed on the skull.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, like a bear or a dog?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Human, Booth. Dr. Brennan is saying human.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: In the vernacular, our victim's face was chewed off by a cannibal.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [throws away the rest of his hot dog] Okay.

Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, this is not one of those things where you try to keep a secret and I ferret out the truth. This is where I tell you something that's true so you can catch up to your own reality.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Angela, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Angela Montenegro: Which actually proves my point. I really I love you to bits and pieces, sweetie. I know, you love me back. We'll talk again when you catch up.

"Bones: The Twist in the Twister (#7.5)" (2011)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You left me stranded out there in the middle of nowhere.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wasn't worried. Unlike you, I trust my partner to be able to take care of himself.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You think you have the right to control me because I'm carrying your progeny.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you think maybe we could just use the word "daughter?" I'm just trying to protect you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen uh, Bones, I do trust you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Does that mean that you're not going to hover over me like a crab whose mate is about to molt?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't actually follow that. But no, I'm not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're not going to stop?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know it's not fair, but no, I'm not going to stop.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because I know that I'm not always going to be able to protect you and this beautiful baby. So acting like I do makes me feel less helpless.

"Bones: The Crank in the Shaft (#4.5)" (2008)

Angela Montenegro: [after discussing the aftermath of her and Hodgins' failed relationship] Brennan, you're supposed to say something.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, I'm sorry. What am I supposed to say?
Angela Montenegro: Something that will make me feel better.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, huh. Um, well, both Hodgins and you mean a lot to me, but since you're my best friend, I... I guess I could fire Hodgins.
Angela Montenegro: What? No. Huh? I... I don't want you to fire him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's good, 'cause I would have disliked doing that.

Angela Montenegro: [after Bones misses the point and is completely not helpful] Thank you, though, for the offer. It was... it was very sweet.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So, I helped?
Angela Montenegro: Oh, absolutely, sweetie. Thank you, it was...
[gives her a thumbs up]
Angela Montenegro: [Bones smiles, looking very pleased]

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. You are not gonna believe this.
Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, try toppin' death by office supplies.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I was wrackin' my brain over the trace analysis from the sweater. Phlofurol proteolythic enzyme, tryoral methane dye...
Agent Seeley Booth: Hodgins. Hodgins. Hodgins. Eyes are glazing over.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a Blue Hawaiian.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's a Blue Hawaiian?
Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it's a potent cocktail. Two of those puppies and you're asking yourself, hey, why am I naked and who are all these people?

"Bones: The Graft in the Girl (#1.20)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Today, Zac. I need something *today*!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, don't harass my assistant.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's right. That's our job.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, is it him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's him, but here's the kickster.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Kicker, Bones, here's the kicker.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [referencing Zack] How do you listen to this all day?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I find intelligence soothing.

"Bones: The Feet on the Beach (#6.17)" (2011)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sometimes wouldn't you just like to be a person like the rest of us - instead of someone who just - paralyzes people?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Those of us who tell the truth have always endured harsh judgements. Copernicus. Galileo. I accept that as something I have to deal with.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: But come on, Bones. He's hurting, all right? Whether you're right or wrong, you levelled the guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's a grown man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sometimes that makes it hurt more. What makes us human, Bones, is we feel compassion and regret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why is this so important to you, Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because I know the kind of person you are. And I think you should let others in on the secret too.

"Bones: The Dwarf in the Dirt (#5.7)" (2009)

Gidget Jones: What can I say? Got a thing for bad boys?
[to Bones]
Gidget Jones: Don't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I prefer good boys.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly] Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Quietly] Yes.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: [Speaking of Booth] Sometimes you have to help people against their wishes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help him.

"Bones: Mother and Child in the Bay (#2.2)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: When you were sleeping with Kyle, didn't it matter to you that you're destroying a family?
Karen Tyler: We were in love.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh! Love. Sorry, now it's a beautiful story.
[gets a new q-tip for DNA]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Open again.
Karen Tyler: Ow!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oops!
Karen Tyler: Kyle was going to tell her. We were going to be honest.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mm-hmmm. 'Cause, you know, you do that so well.
Karen Tyler: I would never hurt her and neither would Kyle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Kyle. Right, the love of your live who no one's seen in two days.
[to Booth]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can you see why I'm leery of relationships?

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you pregnant?
[Cam and Bones look at Booth]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I'm not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why are you looking at me?

"Bones: The Friend in Need (#8.16)" (2013)

Finn Abernathy: [sighing] What kind of trouble could a kid in high school get into that ends up with him stuffed in a suitcase and tossed off a bridge?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [just before she leaves the room] As a former juvenile delinquent, I'd assume you have a string of bad decisions behind you.
Finn Abernathy: Yes, m'am.
[under his breath]
Finn Abernathy: Just wish all of them were behind me.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I've studied the case. I don't believe that Manny raped Kat. His behavior at the party was protective, and he had a crush on her. Rape is about power, not love.
Angela Montenegro: So how is looking through the pictures again gonna help?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, this time instead of focusing on the murder victim, we follow Kat's movements, see who *she* interacted with.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You've been reading my psychology books again.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You leave them in the bathroom. They're good reading in the tub.
Angela Montenegro: That's actually a really good idea. Not the tub thing, but following Kat.

"Bones: The Man on the Fairway (#1.14)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I feel like kicking him.

"Bones: The Sense in the Sacrifice (#9.4)" (2013)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after Booth kisses Bones] We agreed to avoid public displays of affection at the FBI.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: To Hell with the FBI.

Aldo Clemens: Like all of us, he has two sides to him. He has one side that wants to save the world, and one side that wants to take care of the ones he loves. Those two collide - that's what you call a "tortured soul."
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's no such thing as a soul.
Aldo Clemens: Says you. But Booth values nothing higher than his soul. Yet he's willing to sacrifice his soul to kill Pelant.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Aldo Clemens: [Slight chuckle] You, of course... It's always going to come down to you.

"Bones: The Soldier on the Grave (#1.21)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: You have to think before you speak.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why? I can say anything to you without thinking about it first.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, men aren't like us. They're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah. I guess I forgot.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why do you have to be so cynical?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm not cynical. It's a necessary part of the psychology of warfare - heroes and villains. Without clear distinctions like that, we'd never be able to fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, I always found being shot at is a motivating factor.

"Bones: The Maiden in the Mushrooms (#8.21)" (2013)

Angela Montenegro: Hey. I ran a facial reconstruction through missing persons, and I found a possible match. Rebecca Pierce, 25 years old. Reported missing by Trudy Morris.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Judge Trudy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not familiar with Judge Trudy. What circuit is she on?
Angela Montenegro: Citizen's Court?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Does that have something to do with the French Revolution?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No. Judge Trudy has a TV show where she judges small claims cases.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Angela Montenegro: Because it's great drama. People just fight over the silliest little things. You should see the way that they yell and scream at each other. Total guilty pleasure.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Like watching a train wreck.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, train wrecks are not pleasurable. No wonder you feel guilty.

Bailiff Griff: We met when the show started. Trudy didn't want us to date each other, but I guess that Rebecca and I were so in love that she didn't want to be the Grinch.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How long were you together?
Bailiff Griff: Four years. Lived together for the last two with Iris.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Iris. That's interesting.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not really, Booth. For hundreds of years, having multiple partners was quite acceptable.
Bailiff Griff: Oh, no, no, no. Iris is a dog. Uh, she's a leopard hound that we rescued.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Never mind.

"Bones: The Corpse at the Convention (#10.5)" (2014)

Aldus Carter: [Calling out to the team investigating the body inside a utility area] High intensity LED lamps. Pure light that won't alter the visual integrity of the evidence.
Dr. Howard Fitch: Dr. Saroyan, I have an RCC tool kit, and some debris sifters that...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stop! Stop, alright, everybody? Just keep it down out here, alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd like a head lamp.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Me, too.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. Lamps for everyone.
[Goes upstairs to the crowd]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Who's got the LED lamps?
Aldus Carter: Here. I've got four.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Thank you.
Aldus Carter: Thank *you*.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Returns and hands one to Cam and one to Bones] For you.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Still kneeling over the remains] What is this white crust?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where's *my* lamp?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm no closer to finding the killer than I was when the remains were smoldering.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh... What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You think you'll look bad in front of all these forensics geeks if it takes you too long to solve this one.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *If* I solve this one.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, look. I'll bet you a hundred bucks they'll be even *more* jealous when it's done.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, you're in gamblers anonymous. You shouldn't be betting.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right, and you're a genius. Alright? So, don't say stupid things.

"Bones: The Superhero in the Alley (#1.12)" (2006)

Zack Addy: [about the victim] Epiphyseal union with the diaphysis on the wrists, knees and ankles suggests the was between 14 and 18 years old. 1.6 meters tall, a very slight build suggesting that he was at the younger end of the scale.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That tracks with the bag. The degraded cellulose we found is a graphic novel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a comic book.
Zack Addy: I never read comic books.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Oh, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut.
Zack Addy: The face and cranial vault are badly fractured. Blows to the parietal have sent radiating fracture lines between the mid-frontal and anterior temple buttresses.
[to Hodgins]
Zack Addy: Why?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica...

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, so did he jump or was he pushed, Bones?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's what we have to figure out. We can take the skeleton in, give you a report; maybe after next week.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No you don't have to solve the whole case. Just tell me if I'm looking at a murder. Maybe, you know, pull a quick ID?
[Smiles charmingly]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Smiles while Amused] Don't use your charm smile on me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? It's a mark of respect, that's all.

"Bones: The Heiress in the Hill (#9.15)" (2014)

Colin Fisher: [Rushing onto the forensics platform] Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're late, Mr. Fisher.
Colin Fisher: Apologies. I was watching the news and wondering if it was even worth getting dressed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ah, we've missed you, Fisher.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Discussing possible causes of various fractures] Uniform repeated injuries. They're all signs of a seizure.
Colin Fisher: Oh my God. You're right.
[Deep sigh]
Colin Fisher: Well, I feel inadequate.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You work with me, Mr. Fisher. I'd have thought you'd be used to that by now.

"Bones: The Man in the Fallout Shelter (#1.9)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You have a son?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You've never mentioned that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, right... right... you can't measure the man in the beaker so he can't possibly exist.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The man upstairs?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hm. You know, you don't know if you're sick, but you're more than willing to take drugs just in case. Seems to me you should give the man upstairs the same benefit of the doubt that you do an invisible fungus.

"Bones: The Glowing Bones in 'The Old Stone House' (#2.20)" (2007)

Dr. Zack Addy: What am I always the murder victim?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sit!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [chuckles] Zack's always the murder victim.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as Zack and Hodgins are enacting a scenario] Oh, okay, look, we know that Ben had sex with Carly in the backseat of that car. But you didn't find any evidence of rape.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So the sex they had was consensual.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [rising up from his chair] *This* part will be left up to the imagination.

"Bones: The Partners in the Divorce (#8.2)" (2012)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after seeing an improbable rendering of cause of death] Congratulations, Mr. Abernathy, you have successfully reconstructed the death of Wile E. Coyote.
Angela Montenegro: Wow, honey. That was a very impressive pop culture reference.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Christine and I may have watched a few cartoons while I was away.
Finn Abernathy: I have to say, mam, I sure missed working with you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I imagine you have.

Chad Lester: [after hearing Bones and Booth arguing] Hey, is everything okay here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I need to get to your construction chute.
Chad Lester: Wait, now that's a very dangerous area. I can't let you go back there.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Shoving his badge in his face] FBI! Angry FBI!

"Bones: The Truth in the Myth (#6.18)" (2011)

Terry Bemis: I would point out that ever major advance in the history of science was at first dismissed as fairy tale or psuedo science.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Cryptozoology starts with a concluson and then works backwards to prove it. That's the opposite of science.
Terry Bemis: I'm sorry, did you just come here to insult me and my work?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I came here because you're a suspect in the murder of Lee Coleman.
Terry Bemis: [to the camera] And we'll be right back.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe the bite marks to Coleman's ribs came from a taxidermied bear.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. So he was killed by a stuffed animal?

"Bones: The Bullet in the Brain (#6.11)" (2011)

Max Keenan: I'm sorry, honey.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you apologizing?
Max Keenan: I just always thought you and Booth would get over the nonsense and settle down.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't want to talk about.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was a sniper, and so are you. The lead members of a closed community always intersect. You must know him.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...I do.

"Bones: The Headless Witch in the Woods (#2.10)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Zack, place some garlic around the remains and chant the Hmong ritual for the preservation of souls.
Zack Addy: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is going to be a long case.

[Booth has arrested Will, he joins Brennan in her office]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know, our perceptions are always colored by what we hope, what we fear, what we love. We do the best we can.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm afraid my best isn't good enough. I can read bones, not people.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, you know, you had no trouble seeing through me.
[smiles at her and she smiles back]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's a good thing I like being alone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what, Bones? You're not alone. Okay?
[Brennan has turned her back to Booth, he touches her on the shoulder to turn her around, she hesitates, then turns to him]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're my partner, ok? It's a guy hug. Take it.
[they embrace tightly, Booth smiles thoughtfully and Brennan looks relieved, happy and safe]

"Bones: The Gamer in the Grease (#5.9)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: See what I've done here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Obviously, you've created a geographic Venn diagram.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, no, no, no, no. Incorrect. What I've shown here is they've overlapped in the same area.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You need to Google Venn diagram.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what I'm thinking...? Lonely housewife. Husband away on a business trip.
[Suggestively]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bow chicka wow wow.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Trying to imitate Booth's tone] What's bow chicka wow wow?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know... Boom clicka mow mow. It's a very common porno plot which in real life is jealous husband stuffing horny mailman in a grease trap.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Who's that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's the victim's wife.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, are we gonna tell her about the clacka mow boom chicka mow mow boom?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, no. It's bow chicka wow wow, boom clicka mow mow. Okay?

"Bones: The Babe in the Bar (#6.7)" (2010)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you want I can lie to all of our friends, and say that you have pressing FBI business.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth sighs] I don't like the idea of lying to our friends, but I'm going to go with it. Thanks.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That wasn't relevant at all, Mr. Nigel Murray. Take a micro-slice of the cyst and have Doctor Hodgins identify the foreign object.
[Bones exits]
Vincent Nigel-Murray: [Under his breath] Jimmy Page is *always* relevant.

"Bones: Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van (#3.2)" (2007)

Special Agent Sam Reilly: You know, Booth, she must be really good in bed because I can't see any other reason you keep her around here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I am. Very good. But Booth has no direct knowledge of that fact.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's irrational, probably male menopause.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? He's a good man and you know what there's no such thing. That is a sexist myth.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Factually hormone production drops in your fifties, sexual desire decreases, you have to deal with the reduction of muscle mass, erectile dysfunction...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth interrupts] Hey, let's just keep the conversation up, shall we?
[points his index finger up]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And there's evidence that certain men become very unstable.

"Bones: Boy in the Time Capsule (#3.7)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: There was this girl, Karen Isley, and we were under the bleachers one night... personally.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I got it. You were having sex in the dirt under the bleachers.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me, I'm a gentleman! I brought my sleeping bag.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did you bring that for me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Good because that's the wrong Smurf. I liked Smurfette, that's Brainy Smurf.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well Smurfette was a stupid, shallow Smurf who only had her looks. Look, you're better than Smurfette. You have your looks and a whole lot more.

"Bones: The Nail in the Coffin (#9.22)" (2014)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're amazing, you know that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.

"Bones: The Money Maker on the Merry-Go-Round (#10.7)" (2014)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Wells, I often find you to be a real pain in my ass.
Dr. Oliver Wells: Wow. If I wasn't so shocked, I might be offended.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The occasional curse word can serve as a healthy form of nonviolent retribution.
Dr. Oliver Wells: So, you swore to stop yourself from hitting me?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Given your personality, I'd imagine you're quite used to that.

"Bones: The Pathos in the Pathogens (#8.23)" (2013)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How is Mr. Viziri?
Dr. Ivan Jacobs: His vitals actually seem more stable. Clearly, the herbs helped. I came to apologize.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No need. I understand that when someone is blindly subservient to institutional authority their judgment is frequently compromised.
Dr. Ivan Jacobs: That was an eloquent insult.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought so.

"Bones: The Patriot in Purgatory (#8.6)" (2012)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [referring to a book by Phil Jackson she read] Phil says that everything is connected.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's it. No more basketball for you.

"Bones: The Bodies in the Book (#2.15)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So our suspects agreed to kill for each other, so they'd each have an alibi?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So all I need from you people is some proof, okay?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, oh, is - is *that* all?

"Bones: The Past in the Present (#7.13)" (2012)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Outside the church, after the christening] Tell you what. I'll go get the car, alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.
[Booth walks away]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
[At the look on Bones' face, Booth walks back to her, smiling]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I love you, Booth. I don't want you to think that Christine is the only reason we're together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [He smiles, leans in and kisser her. Softly] It's going to be okay. Alright?
[He leans down and kisses Christine in Bones' arms]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'll be right back. I'll get the car.
[Booth walks away]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright? Be right back.

"Bones: The Yanks in the U.K.: Parts 1 and 2 (#4.1)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But there wasn't any evidence of VHL in either the mother's medical records or the autopsy report.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: But its hereditary, so her father must have it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Roger Frampton worked for the NHL?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He may have VHL disease.

"Bones: The Daredevil in the Mold (#6.13)" (2011)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mean you like evidence. All right, Bones. Well, here's the evidence. The evidence is that there's something wrong here. Now, I - I fell in love with a woman. I had a kid. She doesn't want to marry me. And - the next woman, she's...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah! And now- I mean, what is it with women who don't want what I'm offering here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. Just, you know what - drink. Drink. I'm just really- I'm just mad. I'm just really mad at all of you. I'm just mad, okay? So you want to know how this is going to work? Okay, this is how this is going to work. Me and you are partners that's what we do. Me and you we're partners. And I love that. I think that's great. And we're good people that catch bad people, right? And - and we argue. We go back-and-forth. We're partners and sometimes after we solve the case, we come here and celebrate. That's what we do, we celebrate. So as far as I can see, that's what happens next. Are you okay with that?... Great caus you know, if you are, you stay here and you have a drink with me, all right? Maybe we have a little small talk, a little chit chat. If not, well, you can leave, there's the door. And tomorrow, uh, I'll find you another FBI guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Those are my only choices?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Those are you only choices.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Then I'll have a drink

"Bones: Intern in the Incinerator (#3.6)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And I'm changing my password.
[covers screen with one hand and starts entering a new password]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Daisy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you know?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's your second favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet.
[Booth walks away. Bones starts typing]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: JUPITER!
[Bones stops typing]

"Bones: The Fury in the Jury (#9.9)" (2013)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Speaking to her worried colleagues on a jury] It's the court's obligation to protect us.
Priest: God will look out for us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That, of course is absurd. We have as much of a chance of Apollo or Santa to protect us as whatever anthropomorphized fantasy figure you revere. I'm putting my faith in a marshal with a gun, any day.

"Bones: The Boy in the Shroud (#2.3)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: [to Carter as he runs away] We're not gonna hurt you.
[knocks him down]
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: Okay, I hurt you a little bit, but only because you ran.

"Bones: The Ghost in the Machine (#8.9)" (2012)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, what do you think? Man or a woman?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I... am uncomfortable defining sex with just a skull.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: C'mon. Take a stab. I won't write anything down. I promise. It's between me and you.
[They both glance at Hodgins standing next to them]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh. Well.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What? You don't wanna take a stab in front of me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I am inhibited by my desire not to embarrass myself in front of another scientist.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Hodgins] You should take that as a compliment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Indicating Booth] What about him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, we live together and thus share the same synergistic lack of inhibition which allows us to have sex without being self-conscious.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's very romantic, Bones.

"Bones: El Carnicero en el Coche (#9.3)" (2013)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: From now on when one of us has been shot at, has to tell the other one right away
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, unless one of us is already dead
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right!

"Bones: The Nazi on the Honeymoon (#9.7)" (2013)

Dr. Leticia Perez: What's this? I have nothing new to tell you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, we know you're a tridactyl.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Polydactily.

"Bones: The Twist in the Plot (#8.13)" (2013)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find that, despite my best efforts, you exert undue influence on my behavior.

"Bones: The Diamond in the Rough (#8.10)" (2013)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Seeing Bones in her dance warmup outfit] This is, uh... good look. You going to the hootenanny later?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Insulted] N- hootenanny is an informal gathering for singing and dancing. I am training for an extremely rigorous ballroom dance competition.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Very determined] Booth and I intend to win the rumba competition.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Smiling, hopefully] And catch a murderer?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Softer now] Yes. Of course. That's the main objective.

"Bones: The Recluse in the Recliner (#9.24)" (2014)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd posit that the chipped teeth suggest that a tube or funnel was forced down the victim's throat.
Colin Fisher: To fill him up with alcohol. Bastard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fisher's just starting to realize that murderers are bad.

"Bones: The Woman in the Garden (#1.13)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ok. Hodgins, sew it up. You're coming with us. We're going to the barrio.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Field work. Cool! Do I get a gun?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You can't arm Hodgins and not me!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is it with you people and the guns, huh?

"Bones: The Turn in the Urn (#9.19)" (2014)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: After Mr. Abernathy and I finished separating the remains that were mixed in with Daniel Barr's, I realized that we're missing parts of the victim.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How? He's ash.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Based on his size, after cremation, his remains should weigh 3 kilograms. We received only 2.31 kilograms.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So you're missing almost 2 pounds of the victim. Why can't you just say "2 pounds" instead of getting all metricky?

"Bones: The Lance to the Heart (#10.2)" (2014)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Speaking to everyone at Sweets' ash scattering ceremony] "... the concept of God is merely a foolish attempt to explain the unexplainable."

"Bones: The Finger in the Nest (#4.3)" (2008)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Bones and Booth are burying a dog, Ripley] Thought you'd want to say something.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, I feel that this dog Ripley, paid a price that was unfair.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not my fault Bones - why are you talking to me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well you're the only one here!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Talk to the universe. Or God. Or Ripley.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't believe in God.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, God spelled backwards is dog.

About K-Sora

Travelling is my life

Tattoona